


My Sunshine

by SharkLanceStan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blueberry needs hugs, Coma, Head Injury, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Idiots in Love, M/M, Major Character Injury, Protective Kageyama Tobio, Slow Burn, Suga is a BAMF, Yaoi, it has a happy ending i promise, there will be fluff later, yandere sugawara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-02-22 11:46:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 46,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13166271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharkLanceStan/pseuds/SharkLanceStan
Summary: Hinata is injured severely during a practise match, and there's a possibility he may not wake up from his coma.Kageyama deals with his feelings for Hinata, and tries not to lose hope that his partner can recover.





	1. The Day the Sunshine Went Away.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay first off I want to apologise to the Kageyama fans for hurting our precious blueberry son. I agonised about writing this fic because although I love angst, I also hate hurting characters like Kageyama and Hinata. They're just too precious and pure. I am a bad author. BAD! But I hope this will turn out to be a really good fic regardless. Please bear with me and accept my apologies for the broken heart and pain inflicted.

Whenever Kageyama thought about it afterwards, he really should have seen it coming.

Hinata's propensity of getting hit in the face with volleyballs during practices and matches, had always been a guaranteed event. It was almost as if the 5 feet 4 inch middle blocker had some sort of magnet on his face that drew balls automatically to it. Yet every time he got up and laughed it off, and continued playing as if he was fine. His liveliness had fooled the reticent setter into believing that he was invincible and he would never be seriously hurt.

How wrong he had been!

It had happened during an evening practice match with one of the local high-schools in the prefecture. Just a little relaxing side-game to keep everyone on their toes and sharpen their skills, Daichi had insisted. Kageyama had been fired up surprisingly by it, Hinata's own boundless energy starting to rub off on him a little as their rivalry had begun softening and they began spending more and more time casually in each others company. Nothing had been said yet to address the shrinking distance between them or that odd feeling of being not enemies and not friends but something else they couldn't quite put a name to. Both boys had shared a look at the beginning of the match that wordlessly communicated that they would be using the game to work on their setter/spiker relationship and skills of combo moves. It had been going fine, but then one of the other team's players had gotten a little too excited and hit the ball a bit too hard over the net. And as usual it had smacked right into Hinata's face.

Kageyama turned to berate the small orange haired boy for not paying better attention, expecting him to be picking himself up sheepishly and rubbing his nose with apologies to the rest of his team, maybe a little bit of a pout and complaint at Kageyama giving him such a hard time. Honestly he was good at playing the cute kid role and that was why his senpai usually forgave him for almost anything. It was because of that cuteness that Kageyama himself had started softening around the smaller first year, although he would probably never confess to that.

But when his eyes fell on Hinata, he immediately realised something was wrong. Horribly wrong. Hinata was on the linoleum floor, just stretched out, unconscious and not moving, and there was blood on his face. So much blood. Kageyama's body froze and everything else in the room suddenly seemed to fade away into nothingness. Hinata was hurt. How? How could he be hurt? He was always fine following these sorts of accidents. Always!

He snapped back into reality when Suga started directing someone to go and fetch a teacher, the silver haired boy looking at Hinata with hints of worry in his eyes as he lightly shook the boy's shoulders "Hinata... Hinata... wake up.... answer us.... Hinata...." his voice became echoey and distant and Kageyama's mind faded back out of awareness again. It didn't really focus again after that until after Takeda-sensei had arrived and an ambulance had been called. He felt Dachi's hand on his shoulder telling him the game was over and to pack up and go home, their team's leader sounding shaken and bearing the same worried-parent tones of Suga. Kageyama managed a slow nod as if he were a puppet on a string being controlled by someone else. But he couldn't find his tongue to verbally respond. 

In the changing room Kageyama's movements were zombie-like, and the others were eerily quiet too. The usual banter silent, everyone shocked by what had happened. Even Nishinoya the life of the team next to Hinata was silent. Dachi seemed to notice his team's anxiety and made a move as a good leader to try and reassure them, speaking up clearly "Hinata will probably be fine guys, he's proven to be quite durable during our previous matches. He just needs a bit of rest is all. I'm sure we'll see his smiling face again in no time" he told them, and some of the others seemed to calm down at these words, nodding gratefully to their senpai for his words.

But Kageyama couldn't hear them. All he could focus on was Hinata lying so still. Covered in blood. He felt his stomach suddenly rebel and almost dropped his shirt, suddenly aware that his fingers were shaking. Why? His long slender skilled setter's fingers were flawless. Perfect instruments for crafting his masterful moves that dominated the court during their matches. They had never once trembled. But now he couldn't seem to stop them quivering. He clenched the rebellious hand to his chest as if to hide it from the others, continuing to change with difficulty between the churning in his stomach and the shaking of his limbs. As soon as he was done he just up and left without even bothering to collect his things. His head was spinning and he could feel a sort of hot pressure behind his eyes. What was happening to him? Was he getting sick or something?

It wasn't until he made it to the guys' bathroom, just in time to reach a stall and bring his lunch up violently, that he was aware that his eyes were leaking fluid. Clear and kinda salty to the taste. Tears? Why was he crying?! He hadn't cried since he was a child, and his parents' long working hours meant he was often home alone, unable to bond properly with other children due to lack of human interaction, so instead he lashed out and was hated even more for being a 'bully'. All he'd ever really wanted was someone who understood him and didn't leave him alone. And then Hinata had come into his life. The feisty fireball had shaken up his world, he had to admit. At first he'd convinced himself it was because he finally had a rival who gave a crap about the game. But gradually he had begun to realised that what he appreciated most about Hinata was that he always had his back. Their combo moves were so flawless because they were so in synch. Unlike his old Kitagawa team-mates who had given him the hated label of 'King of the Court', Hinata was prepared to perfectly attune himself to Kageyama's sets so that they could be put into play with maximum impact. And seeing the results of their efforts had thrilled him. Now he'd begun to trust in the small boy. He'd begun to take it for granted that he was always going to be there and helping him. And Kageyama realised that, the reason he was crying was because he wasn't sure anymore if that would be true. Hinata was seriously hurt. Even an idiot like him could work that out. And a little voice in his head whispered cruelly 'What if he never comes back? What if he can't play anymore? You'll be alone again. Always alone. The King of the Court on his throne. All alone". He bit his lip, blinking back the tears falling and trying to coach himself to stand up.

"Kageyama-kun, are you in here?" a voice suddenly called, and he recognised Suga-senpai's gentle and caring tones. He froze again. He couldn't let the third year see him in this state. He bit his lip and didn't answer. He heard a sigh outside his stall door "I can see your feet Kageyama-kun..." Suga responded and something was placed by the stall door "You forgot your school bag. You don't want that to get lost do you?" the gentle voice continued. There was no question about Kageyama's current condition. Suga had an almost psychic bond with his team-mates at times. He could always tell when one of them wasn't feeling right. Or if they were in pain. He'd noticed when Tsukishima had started to develop migraines from his glasses prescription changing and needing to be updated. He'd noticed when Yamaguchi was feeling nervous about the accuracy of his pinch serves. And he was always there to take care of them in his tender unjudging manner. Kageyama felt he could trust the 3rd year with a secret like this.

He stood, his legs still numb and wobbly and opened the stall door, head lowered at first, but then raising it, so it was visible that his beautiful blue eyes were red-rimmed and his cheeks streaked with tears "I....I don't.... I don't want to be.... alone again...." he found his voice speaking in shaking tones, and Suga's expression turned to sympathy, nodding "You're never alone Kageyama, you're part of our team now and even after Dachi and I graduate you know we'll always come and watch your games and support you to the very end" he reassured him gently, reaching into his pocket to offer the first year a tissue. Kageyama blinked back more tears "But... H-Hinata.... he might not come back...." he voiced his fears and the third year promptly gave him a light thump on the head, his gentle expression giving way to that other side of Sugawara, the fiery more passionate side that came out during games when the odds seemed overwhelming.

"Absolutely not. I won't allow that to happen. Hinata is part of our team like you are Kageyama. And if he's going to recover at all then you need to believe in him! Why are you losing faith in him already? Why are you even still here in this bathroom? You care about Hinata, don't deny it. It's been becoming increasingly obvious lately. So you should be with him now. At the hospital. Go and stop being an idiot already" the older boy scolded him just like a mother would. Kageyama hesitated for just a split second, looking in surprise at Sugawara and how easily he had looked into his heart and mind and drawn out the truth that even he hadn't been capable of deciphering about himself. He did care about Hinata. Hinata was the first one who looked at him like a person. Like an equal. He bowed in gratitude to his senpai, grabbing his bag and practically sprinting out of the bathroom as the silver haired volleyball player stood hand on hip shaking his head a little "Go and get him Tobio. Go and bring back our sunshine" he murmured, having faith that only the setter would be able to do that.

This burst of optimism powered Kageyama all the way to the hospital, and gave him hope enough that he even started to expect Hinata to already be awake, preparing the ways he would chew his ass out for worrying the whole team so much. It lasted until about 5 minutes after arriving, and approaching Hinata's room just in time to accidentally overhear the doctor speaking to Hinata's mother who seemed to be crying, her younger daughter Natsu clinging to her side, also in tears "I'm very sorry to tell you this ma'am, but your son has received severe head trauma, and it's not the first to have occured it seems. The damage has been built upon from multiple similar injuries such as these. There is a high chance that he may never wake up from his coma" the man was saying. And Kageyama froze again, feeling the world slipping away from him once more. Hinata.... never wake up? No.... no.... NO! It couldn't be!


	2. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama tries to make amends with Hinata's family to varying effect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the angst continues. I'm so sorry, but at this stage it is necessary. Thankfully Kageyama has people to take care of him. Even if those people are Saltyshima ;-) 
> 
> Btw I know Hinata's Mom seems like a mega-bitch here, but grief and shock will do terrible things to a person's mind so that's why she went off the rails a bit. I hope I was able to convey that accurately and realistically! 
> 
> I will try to update a chapter a day, wherever possible, at least whilst I'm on seasonal holidays!

Kageyama wanted to run after the doctor, he wanted to grab him by his stupid white coat and lift him against the wall and yell at him for giving up on Hinata so quickly. For not considering the small boy's strength and will to live. But his legs wouldn't move. They were frozen and his heart felt it had also been frozen then shattered into pieces. His body literally wasn't functioning right with shock and he HATED himself for it. 'Move dumb-ass' he ground out under his breath to his body, pouring all his focus into just putting one limb in front of the other. The doctor left and it was just him and Hinata's mother's and sister there. The woman understandably didn't notice Kageyama lurking down the hallway, she just collapsed outside her son's door and began to cry whilst Natsu sniffing back tears of her own wrapped her arms around her mother's neck trying to console her "It'll be okay Mom... doctor's don't know everything... he could be wrong... Shouyou's very strong.... he....he... he's sure to..." she broke off with a hiccuping sob as if her own doubt of the situation prevented her trying to console her mother further.

Kageyama moved then. He had to. His legs wanted him to run in the opposite direction all the way out of this damn traumatic hospital and this town and everything. Just running far away until the pain stopped. But he knew he couldn't. He moved to the woman and child on the ground crying and held out a hand stiffly and awkwardly. If Hinata wasn't here to comfort his mother, then Kageyama as the closest thing to a friend the boy had, had, ought to step in. The woman blinked with red raw eyes up at the boy, and his frankly creepy attempt at a consoling smile. She almost turned her head away and refused him, until she saw his eyes were red too. He'd been crying. In a quavering voice she replied "You... you were there.... you saw what happened.... what happened to my Shouyou?!" her fingers gripped into Kageyama's wrist almost painfully, the nails digging in, though he was sure she wasn't trying to hurt him intentionally, just that distraught that she wasn't focusing on such things. 

Kageyama's smile faltered and he bit his lip, willing himself not to cry again in front of this woman. "It's my fault" he spoke quietly.... "I'm his partner.... in our volleyball team.... I wasn't watching him closely enough.... I kept letting him get hurt.... I....I presumed he'd be fine.... he always seems to bounce back..... I never even took him to the nurse's office once...." he bit his lip harder and his eyes scrunched shut further in pain "We were playing a practice match.... and.... and the other team hit a spike.... in his face.... he's never been hurt before... h-h-he always gets up after.... and smiles.... and keeps playing.... I didn't even think he was getting more and more damaged.... I'm... I'm so sorry.... I'm so stupid!" he had gotten his feelings out but he had no idea why he had just blurted all that stuff. It pretty much had the opposite effect on the woman before him, it didn't calm her down at all. 

He expected her to be mad at him. He expected her to yell. Instead the fingers detached from his wrist and the hand retracted, the woman's sniffles and sobs turning to silence and stillness "I see" she uttered in a rather cold tone, as if this information had been the final straw and her emotions couldn't handle it anymore and to protect itself her heart had frozen. "I always knew Shouyou was making a mistake joining that team. He's too small, too fragile. He's not suited to such violent sports. But he always seemed so happy returning from games, so I thought at least I could trust in his classmates to protect him. I guess I was wrong...." the tone was not especially accusing but having that lifeless dead quality to it, as if she was just stating these facts without any filter to hold back on them. This was because her mind had fractured with all the shocks she'd received this evening. Traumatic shock was leading her to say such horrible things "If you care so little for my Shoyou why are you even here? Did you hope to assuage the guilt somehow by pleading with his mother for forgiveness? Well I won't forgive you! I'll never forgive you!" her voice had become shrill and hysterical now, pointing at Kageyama trembling as Natsu desperately tugged at her arm "Mom no... don't say that.... it's not like that! Shouyou told me about the games... how much fun he has.... how great his team-mates are... how he feels the love they have for him.... accidents happen in sports.... and you know what Shouyou is like! He hides things. He doesn't want people to be worried or upset about him" she was trembling head to toe, and tears were still streaking down her cheeks but she was doing her best to defend Kageyama and the team. 

His heart broke at that moment and he dropped to the floor, pressing his forehead on cold linoleum in front of Hinata's mother, debasing himself in a way his pride would never ever normally allow. The King of the Court bowing to someone? Unheard of! "I-I-I'm s-so s-sorry.... I'm so s-sorry... I'm s-so s-sorry...." he kept repeating over and over in a broken voice and crying and eventually even Hinata's mother understood how much pain the boy in front of her was in. How much he cared about Hinata. Her iciness leached away once more and she reached out to pat his bowed head speaking in a tired voice "Doing that isn't going to change what happened. I know now that it was a mistake and you didn't intend to hurt my boy... but what's done is done.... all we can do now is pray for him" . She allowed Natsu to pull her to her feet and reached for the boy hunched and trembling on the floor. He was so much bigger than her Shouyou but he looked so lost and vulnerable that he evoked her motherly instinct. 

Kageyama let her pull him to his feet, not even caring if everyone in the hospital had seen his break down, or if they were seeing him now with swollen red eyes, cheeks slick with tears. His goal had been to help and comfort Hinata's mother, but instead she was comforting him. He was so pathetic. So pathetic and stupid. He still couldn't forgive himself for what had happened to Hinata. He followed the woman in lifeless puppet mode again, lost in thoughts, agonizing over details that couldn't possibly have been prevented. It got worse when they entered Hinata's room and he saw his partner so tiny in the hospital bed, with a breathing mask over his mouth and tubes snaking in and out of his limbs, the heart monitor beeping slowly, but no sign of waking from the boy. He looked even younger in this condition, just a little child like Natsu with that scruff of orange hair poking up out of the covers. He felt his knees buckling again and leaned against the wall not wanting to cause further scenes and detract from the family time. 

Eventually his heart couldn't take it anymore and he slipped out unnoticed by the family and into the chill night air, He'd run here without his coat he realised which he'd left at the school and instead hunched his shoulders, wrapping his arms around himself as he walked slowly in an almost daydream state towards the house. He wasn't even looking at where the traffic was, and stepped out into the road and would have gotten run down and killed if at the last moment a slender but strong hand hadn't reached out to yank him back roughly and he was staring into the narrowed golden eyes of his fellow first-year and kinda-nemesis Tsukishima Kei. "Are you trying to get yourself killed idiot?" the harsh tone of Karasuno's tallest middle blocker berated him. He released him unceremoniously wiping off his hands on his trouser leg as if he'd touched something disgusting "Not that I care much, but if you are trying to commit suicide maybe you could do it elsewhere and not in the way of where I'm walking. I don't want to get covered in your blood" he commented in his usual salty manner. Kageyama was still too broken to come up with a retort witty or otherwise and just rolled over on the grass verge to stare up at the sky. Tsukishima recoiled in disgust at seeing his appearance "You look gross... have you been crying about your boyfriend?" the attempted jab backfired. He had been hoping to rile Kageyama up but instead the setter just nodded dumbly, obviously out of it. Tsukishima face palmed "I swear the pair of you morons, are nothing but trouble" he commented but after surreptitiously glancing left and right to make sure nobody could observe him, he stopped and pulled the setter up "I'm taking you back to your house you idiot before you really get yourself killed, and DON'T come into school tomorrow until you get a grip on your emotions. I don't want to deal with your gross crying face". Kageyama nodded again clearly in La La land by this point, shock and grief having broken his already fragile brain. He didn't remember the rest of the journey home at all, but Tsukishima must have seen him safely to his door because the next thing he knew he was in bed and exhaustion claimed him, falling asleep fully clothed, motionless like a rock in his bed.


	3. A Resolve To Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama has a nightmare, and pledges to protect Hinata.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Protective Tobio! It was painful writing him suffering and being so weak, so I had to loosen up a little and give him a little bit of that Karasuno fighting spirit back. My poor blueberry needs all the support he can get. I showed the first two chapters to some friends and was told I am effectively 'Satan' for doing this, and they're right... I feel sooooooooo guilty.... but the ending is going to be super fluffy and happy I promise, so the pain will be worth it!

It was the middle of a match. The opponent this time was really tough, one of the powerhouse teams. Karasuno as usual was hopelessly outmatched, but fighting fiercely anyway, determined not to fail even as the underdog, determined to prove that they were a force to be reckoned with also. The scores were stacked in the opponent's favour but Karasuno knew that if they scored just one more point they could turn this game around and win. Kageyama set up a shot to pass to his partner, crying out as he did so "Hinata! Lets do this!". But Hinata wasn't there. The volleyball slammed uselessly into the linoleum and the crowd's cheers started to repeat over and over "King of the Court. King of the Court. King of the Court" he spun in a panic shouting out in protest "No! That's not me anymore! I'm not like that!" but he could see the rest of Karasuno looking at him with mistrust and starting to move away from him. Just like his former Kitagawa team-mates. The crowd's chants changed to "All alone. All alone. All alone". 

Suddenly the scenery changed. Now he was standing in a funeral parlour with a lot of people crying, he saw Suga and Daichi holding each other and weeping and as he made his way through the crowd to ask who they were mourning Suga looked at him with accusing eyes "I told you to bring back our sunshine. Why couldn't you take better care of him Kageyama?". Kageyama's face filled with horror, and he turned slowly to look at the shrine, set with candles and incense, the floor littered with bouquets and teddy bears and other little signs that the deceased was someone loved greatly by almost the entire town. The photo at the centre of the candle flames was Hinata. He reached for the photo even though the heat of the candles burned his arm painfully. The frame was slick with blood, that just ran down the sides and pooled in his hands. He could hear disembodied whispering voices behind him. "So it's true" , "He did kill him" , "It's his fault" , "Yes it's all his fault" , "He's the guilty one". He bit his lip hard as tears began to fall, clasping his bloodied hands to his ears, snapping "Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" a small hand reached to touch him and he spun, absently noting that the rest of the funeral had faded away into black nothingness. But what primarily captured his attention was Hinata standing in front of him. Hinata looked normal and he was smiling the way he would always do. Kageyama reached for him desperately. hands trembling as they caressed the small face, trying to assure himself that it was real. Hinata kept on smiling, but now it was a hollow lifeless smile and there was blood on his face, he started to fall to the ground limply like a rag-doll and Kageyama reached out to grab his arm, pulling his body to his chest and crying out "Hinata! Hinata!" then because that was not reaching him, a long scream "SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!"

He sat up in bed panting and sweating. the form in his arms wasn't Hinata, it was his pillow, and he was gripping it so hard that the stuffing had begun to come out of one end. A dream. He had been dreaming. But the feeling of losing his partner was so vivid and fresh in his mind that his breath hitched with sobs, hugging the pillow and burying his face in it as more burning tears forced their way free of already sore and bloodshot eyes. For about 20 minutes all he could do was rock back and forth on the bed. body shivering, crying until his tear-ducts literally gave up the ghost from dehydration, and refused to produce any more tears. 

His mouth felt dry and his head hurt, so he rose awkwardly, lurching unsteadily on his legs in the direction of the bathroom, filling a glass of water and holding it in shaking fingers. Since the accident his hands hadn't stopped shaking, and he knew he would be absolutely useless in a game right now. Tsukishima had told him to stay home today, but he knew he had to go and see Hinata. He had to stay by his side otherwise that dumbass might cross over to the other side and then bringing him back would be impossible. He downed the water along with some pain-killers, though he knew they wouldn't do much to dull the pain in his head and body. Nonetheless, he showered quickly and dressed, but boycotted breakfast because his stomach was churning too much right now to keep anything down.

Half an hour later he was in Hinata's room again at the hospital. Hinata's mother had stepped out for a while at Natsu's insistence that she rested and took care of herself, so it was just Kageyama alone with the beep of the heart monitor and the sterile hospital smell. He remembered the way Hinata smelled when they rode together on the bus to games, at least the pleasant smells. Not when he was sick or sweaty. When Hinata smelled good, he smelled like oranges and warm sunshine, if sunshine could have a smell. But that smell was being swamped by the scents of the hospital around him and that pissed Kageyama off. He focused on that anger. Anger gave his will-power strength. As long as he was still angry about all of this, he wasn't giving up hope. If he had to he would fucking kick Death's ass too. Hinata was HIS partner dammit and he wasn't ready to let him go just yet. "Hinata you dumbass, you'd better not die" he told the sleeping boy, taking his limp and tiny hand and giving it a squeeze "Otherwise I'm going to come find you and kick your ass" the threat hanging in the air.

The day passed slowly. Kageyama wasn't a fan of hospitals and ordinarily he'd be bored out of his mind waiting in one. But he'd resolved himself to keep up his vigilance and not leave Hinata alone until at least his family returned. Eventually Hinata's mother and sister reappeared towards the evening, both looking surprised to find Kageyama there, the older woman's face held a mixture of tenderness and guilt "I'm sorry.... yesterday I misjudged you terribly Kageyama-kun, you are a good boy and you care about my Shouyou so much. I can tell" she sighed regretfully. Kageyama looked surprised that she knew his name, he hadn't mentioned it yesterday and he'd never been to Hinata's house for her to have met him previously. Natsu spoke up "I told her your name. Shouyou talks about you a lot. Every time there's a game he comes home buzzing with excitement and talking about his amazing partner Kageyama" she smiled softly, and Kageyama felt his cheeks heating up with embarrassment. Hinata had said those things about him? He awkwardly averted his gaze "W-W-Well... H-Hinata... he's a r-really good player too... even though he's so s-small... he can jump s-s-super high... like a f-flea almost! And his strikes are so.... so a-amazing. So precise" he stammered, flushing harder with awkwardness, always the type to really struggle to say nice things about others. But somehow he felt he wanted to share those memories with Hinata's family. He started to tell them about their former matches, about all the tough opponents they'd faced and how the odds had always seemed insurmountable but somehow together they'd always pulled through as a team. He wasn't sure why he started rambling all this off, but it made Hinata's family smile, and that gave him strength to continue. 

Hinata's mother placed a hand on his arm gently "Thank you for telling me this. I thought of volleyball as just another sport, but I can see that it is deeply ingrained in my Shouyou's soul, and that the support of his team kept him smiling and happy. Things haven't always been easy at home. When his father and I divorced and he left home, it was particularly hard on Shouyou. He loved his father so much, and it felt like there was a gaping hole in this family. Hinata started hiding his feelings after that. Refusing to cry in front of us or show us when he was in pain. I should have noticed it sooner and gotten him to get help about overcoming his problems. But seeing him smiling, even knowing it was fake, was so reassuring. I allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security, which I guess is what happened to you and his team-mates?" she bit her lip guiltily looking sad again. Kageyama shook his head, placing his hand over hers "It's not your fault. Hinata always seems so strong. He shines brighter than the sun. And sometimes if you stare directly at the sun it's hard to make out what lurks beneath the surface" he told her, seeing the gratitude in her tired face. "It's as you said yesterday, playing the blame game at this point is useless. All we can do is wait and hope" he continued and Natsu nodded "Hinata won't die so easily. I know my brother has a lot of strength. He's fighting right now. I'm sure of it. He's trying to make his way back to us" she said glancing to the sleeping form in the bed and moving to squeeze Hinata's hand. Kageyama nodded "I... I'll watch over him... when you can't be here.... I'll make sure he doesn't go anywhere" he made the pledge, with determination, though he didn't know how exactly he would prevent that coming to pass. But the important thing was that they all believed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited to fix tense error.


	4. Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugawara gives Kageyama a good telling off and together they resolve to keep fighting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yandere! Suga is one of my little headcanons. I don't see him as being a particularly violent yandere, but I still think he has a beserk button, and when the switch is flipped he can be a scary dude, lol. We've clearly seen he can get angry quite a few times canonly after all. The purpose for this chapter was to further bolster Kageyama's flagging spirit and make sure he had something to strive for and not just give up and devote his life to being Hinata's nursemaid. Of course he's not going to neglect Hinata and he will still prioritise him over everything else, but he knows he has to keep living his life now. SugaMom just wants his chicks to do well. I love SugaMom so much hehe.

By the third day the rest of the team finally started showing up to visit, apologising for the tardy response, they cared about Hinata of course but Suga had insisted on giving Kageyama his space for at least the first two days, knowing that the boy would not want his team-mates to see him crying, so giving him that time to get his emotions in check. Everyone seemed really saddened by seeing Hinata's condition, though Kageyama decided not to tell them what the doctor had said about Hinata possibly not waking up. He didn't want his team's morale to crash any further, they still had games to play and win. Suga had replaced Kageyama on the team for the time-being knowing that the younger setter would not be capable of functioning whilst his head was so messed up, but when he visited the hospital he insisted that Kageyama prepare himself for coming back to school. Kageyama and Hinata were both students who struggled with their academics and missing too many classes could be disastrous for their GPA. He didn't want Kageyama to throw away his future, even if it was for Hinata.

This had been something of a bone of contention, the third year speaking cooly and calmly, telling Kageyama that he understood he needed time now to process what had happened to Hinata but that he couldn't allow his life to remain on pause forever waiting for Hinata to wake up. Kageyama had gotten mad and yelled that Suga was the one who had damned well told him to bring Hinata back, and what the hell did he think he was trying to do? He had allowed his bitterness to make him lash out and say something cruel to their senpai, accusing him of having a heart of ice and not caring about Hinata at all. Something you should never do with Suga. The elder boy was usually super sweet but if you pissed him off too much he had a secret yandere switch that could be flipped. He wasn't ever really dangerous in this mode, but he could be scary. This side had only ever shown itself once before during the Shiratorizawa match when he'd literally flipped out on Ushiwaka from the bench and scared the living daylights out of his kouhai sharing the bench with him. Tanaka usually jokingly referred to it as Suga's 'Mom Mode'. And SugaMom was about to kick his chick's ass.

Adopting a rougher tone and abandoning the polite language his upperclassman grabbed Kageyama by the shoulder pinning him against the wall, dark eyes glowering out from under silver bangs, looking like the eyes of a demon, or a pissed off white-tiger. "Don't you EVER accuse me of not caring for this damn team! You want to know how much I care? How much I worry every goddamn moment for every last member of this fucking team? Huh?! You mouthy little punk! You know nothing! It's BECAUSE I care so damn much about you and Hinata and the whole team that I don't want to see you piss your future down the drain, goddammit! You think I don't know about Hinata's condition? You think you managed to pull the wool over my eyes? He might not wake up right? I know that already. I knew that possibility from the moment he fell in the gym. Hell! I've had to worry about and consider the possibility of that happening every day since I joined the team. You think this is the first accident to befall a Karasuno player? That you first years are special and unique? 3 years I've been playing this sport Kageyama. 3 fucking years. And players have come and gone in that time. Injuries happen in sports Kageyama... ALL... THE... DAMN... TIME. And Karasuno and life have continued in spite of that. Yes Hinata is important to the team. Yes I absolutely understand that your bond makes it difficult to play right now. But you can't use that excuse forever. At some point you're going to have to continue your life. Or do you think you can just stay by his side 24/7 for the rest of time? It's harsh but that's life. Life doesn't stop and fucking wait for people to be ready before it moves on. Hinata's condition means he can't play games or study or live his life. Which is why it's your fucking duty to do those things in his stead. YOU need to be the one to go to school and get those grades. YOU need to be the one to ensure that Karasuno stays a competing team. Do you think if Hinata woke up and found out that Karasuno was back down at stage 1, disregarded like trash by everyone, or that you had dropped out of school, that he would be happy? Well? Do you? Because I don't think he would be. I think he'd be furious with you" the stream of angry words coming from the third years mouth were the parental scoldings Kageyama had never received at home. They were the fierce love he'd never been shown. Someone who was prepared to fight to ensure he had the best future and could hold his head up high with pride.

Tears pricked at his eyes again. Not from being yelled at. These weren't wimpy self-pitying tears. They were tears of shame and realisation. Suga-senpai was absolutely right. Hinata would be livid if Karasuno failed or Kageyama got himself kicked out of school. He'd want his 'rival' to be there so he could keep striving to get better. He remembered that moment following their first loss to Seijoh when he'd apologised for allowing his moves to be read and Hinata had flipped out and shoved him down and nearly punched his lights out if not for Takeda-sensei interrupting. The small orange haired boy had been livid that not only was Kageyama underestimating him and the rest of the team, but he was putting himself down and acting like it was hopeless to try and get better. He had to keep going for Hinata's sake. However difficult and painful it was, he had to keep going. He had to keep aiming high. If Hinata kept sleeping then one of them was going to have to attain those dreams. He hadn't wanted to face that fact before, because thinking like that was accepting the possibility that Hinata might not attain those dreams, and that denial had been all that had kept his heart functioning. He inhaled with a broken sound and scrunched his eyes shut against the tears that were already sliding down his cheeks "I-I'm...I'm s-s-sorry..." he managed

Fingers tousled in his dark bangs ruffling his hair and just like that Suga had reverted to his sweet and caring mode again, regarding his kouhai with tenderness "Don't apologise Kageyama. You're not wrong to want to watch over Hinata and protect him, obviously we all should have been doing that from the start. If we had, we'd have seen through those fake smiles and known something was wrong much sooner. But now you have to decide how you're going to progress from this point. We can only support you so far, you're going to have to make sure you can keep going on your own, okay?" the third year's voice was gentle now, all that ugly harshness and foul-language gone, but Kageyama wouldn't forget those words. And he respected Suga twice as much now for being so brutally honest with him. Wiping his eyes dry on his sleeve he nodded "Okay... I'm not the best student.... but I'll do my best. Someone is going to have to help Hinata with his missed studies when he wakes up. That'll be my duty" he found himself saying almost without thinking, before realising what he'd said and turning red. Suga laughed and patted his shoulder "That's the spirit. I'll entrust our sunshine to you then. Make sure you're ready for when he wakes up". They left the possibility that Hinata might NOT wake up unspoken, both knowing it but fiercely denying it. They wouldn't allow him to slip away, they'd keep fighting back to back until the last breath. That was what it meant to be a team. Facing battles together whether in a game or in life. And Kageyama was immensely grateful for the support.


	5. Even Idiots Can Catch Colds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama overworks himself and gets sick. Tsukishima is the real MVP.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry sorry for the late upload. Kinda was a bit stuck on what to write for this chapter. I can't wake Hinata up yet, but I needed something more exciting to happen than just the same old visiting the hospital crap. So the angst fairy visited again and now Kags is sick. Don't blame me. Blame her. It was a good excuse to write Grumpy Cat Tsukishima though and I am grateful for this opportunity hahaha. Btw thanks for all the Kudos guys, it feels great to check and see it grow with each upload! <3

Kageyama really did try hard following Suga's lecture and his own personal epiphany about having to achieve twice as hard for Hinata's sake as well as his own. He dedicated as much time as he possibly could to studies, even bringing books to Hinata's room, sitting and reading through them. Kageyama contrary to popular belief wasn't naturally stupid. He was naive but if he actually took the time to think about something seriously he could actually get pretty good results. He began doing his homework and exam studies with Yamaguchi's tutoring (much to Tsukishima's annoyance) and as a result his GPA started to pick up noticeably. He also practiced almost religiously every break he could find, adjusting to compensate for the lack of doing the special quicks with Hinata, and instead focusing on setting and passing better to other players with different needs such as Asahi. The large ace was happy to help him practice too, feeling sorry for the first year boy knowing how much pain he had to be in about Hinata and thinking how much he himself would suffer if the same ever happened to Nishinoya.

However there is such a thing as overdoing it, and Kageyama definitely didn't have a filter that told him when enough was enough. Consequently he didn't give himself anywhere near enough rest and went from staying up late to study, to stressing about grades throughout classes, stressing about game strategies during practice and even skipping lunch to practice or cram for exams. And of course this meant he ended up getting sick. It was late Autumn and the weather had been getting colder recently and Kageyama had studied to the point that he'd fallen asleep with the window open in his bedroom. He woke up at his desk, shivering and bleary-eyed and feeling like crap. Sneezing a few times and trying to work the stiffness out of his limbs from falling asleep in a bad posture, he rose to his feet and almost immediately sagged sideways stumbling into his bookcase and tumbling to the floor in a cascade of books. Crap. He was totally weak. His legs felt like they were made of jelly. But today they were having a big math test. He couldn't miss it! It was important to his grades and without it he could kiss goodbye to a passing grade for this semester.

Forcing himself upright with the last reserves of stamina he had, already severely depleted to the point he was almost running on empty, he changed clumsily into his school uniform and feeling decidedly light-headed he made his way to school. He had no idea how he made it to the school without ending up under a bus or something, but he thanked the gods for small favours and changed into his school slippers at the lockers, the process of bending down making him so dizzy that he ended up hunched for a few minutes trying to reorientate his head. Subsequently he was almost tripped over by Tanaka and Nishinoya entering and chatting excitedly about some television show they'd been watching recently "Kageyama! Whatcha doin' down there man?" Tanaka's rough mannered words greeted him. Kageyama turned his head attempting to focus his eyes for a minute, processing the bald head and two-tone spikes before him, responding sluggishly "Ah... T-Tanaka-s-senpai.... N-Nishinoya-senpai... I was.... putting my slippers on.... sorry... I'll move" he responded, already kinda out of it by this point. He felt hot and tired and his head hurt. But he couldn't let them know that. When Nishinoya leaned forward to look at him closer with a frown, rubbing his chin thoughtfully and asking "Ya look kinda red Kageyama. Are you feeling okay?", Kageyama practically freaked out, straightening almost rigidly and forcing his eyes open wider "Ah! Yes... I'm fine... just a little bit of windburn... you know how it is... cold weather and all... well I b-better be off. I have an exam first period.... bye guys... see you at practice!" he stood and moved as quickly as his legs would allow away from the other two hoping they didn't decide to push the matter. He could NOT afford to be sent home sick today!

He made it into the classroom fortunately, but his hurried attempts to escape his upper-classmen had taken their toll. He was even more exhausted now and as he settled in his seat he was overcome by a violent coughing fit that made a few of his classmates look his way in surprise, he tried to weakly wave off their concerned looks and let them know he was fine and not to concern themselves. The majority of the students went back to their conversations, but he felt a pair of sharp golden eyes on him 3 seats back, knowing Tsukishima was sitting back there. He felt sure the tall middle-blocker was going to rat him out when the teacher showed up, but Tsukishima kept his mouth shut surprisingly and the teacher started to hand the test papers out, going into the usual spiel about the length of the test, no talking, no trying to copy off other classmates etc. He looked down at his paper and blinked. He couldn't read it. The print kept blurring in and out of focus! Crap. Double crap! How was he going to pass this test if he couldn't even read the writing? The other students picked up their pencils and began to write, so he followed suit, squinting at the paper, trying desperately to bring it into enough focus to see. The heat in his head was painful at this point. It felt like he'd stuck his face up close to a furnace, and what little brains he had were slowly being boiled out of his skull. Focusing was pretty much impossible and he started to succumb to delirium, the ticking of the clock becoming a hammer whose strikes timed up in perfect rhythm with the throbbing off his head. TING TING TING TING at first and then BANG BANG BANG BANG and finally BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM. He dropped his pencil case with a clatter of pencils on the floor earning him a 'Shh' sternly from the teacher, frowning in his direction. He leaned down to try and retrieve them and immediately regretted it. He was instantly enveloped by a forest of table legs, on all sides, disorientating him so much that he fell out of his seat to join his pencils, the last thing he recalled was the girl next to him giving a painful shrill shriek of surprise and then nothing but blackness.

When he finally regained consciousness he was in the nurse's office with a cooling patch on his head and he felt like he'd lost a wrestling match. Everything hurt, he was nauseous and shivering and generally miserable. He'd failed! And he'd been trying so hard! Maybe he wasn't cut out for this after all? Letting his limbs go limp with depression, he had no energy to even be shocked when Tsukishima's head poked around the dividing curtain, golden eyes glowering at him like he was a dog that had pissed on the family's rug "You need to stop making a habit of passing out around me, you idiot" his sour-faced salty team-mate scowled at him obviously not happy about the turn of events "This is the second time I've had to carry you somewhere and next time I'm just gonna leave you lying there" , "W-Why.... why... d-did.... you... h-help me....?" he managed to reply his voice coming out as a dry croak from the heat of his fever and his ravaged throat. Tsukishima rolled his eyes as if he'd been asked the most stupid question in the world "Because Yamaguchi put effort into helping your stupid ass study, and he'd be upset if went and wasted his effort by dying" he growled in response. Ordinarily Kageyama would have had an angry staring contest with him at this point but he was too tired and sick, so he just nodded "I w-wasted his effort anyway.... I'm here aren't I.... I c-couldn't even answer one question" he sighed, staring out the window miserably "That's because you're a freaking idiot and you try and go to school with a fever of 40°C (104°F). You know that if you were sick you could have resat the test when you were better, you moron!" the golden eyes narrowed angrily at him and Kageyama absently wondered just why the tall megane cared enough to get mad about it. He exhaled and responded "Sorry" tiredly... having the grace to look ashamed for the trouble he'd caused. Tsukishima made a face "Skip it. It's gross and weird when you try to apologise or be nice. Just sleep and hurry up and recover so things can get back to normal. This shit is boring and I'm so done with it already" the middle-blockers back was to him now, glaring out the window as if the world itself pissed him off "You... d-don't... have to... babysit me... you know" Kageyama couldn't resist teasing him a little, amused that he'd found this little chink in the other boy's armour. The knowledge that he did care about his team-mates and could get worried too. "Someone has to make sure you don't go and do more reckless shit and get yourself killed" , "Aww... d-didn't... know you... c-cared... so much" , "Fuck you, Kageyama". The banter continued until Kageyama fell asleep again. But even after that the tall blonde hung around until Takeda-sensei showed up to take Kageyama home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and feedback your thoughts on the chapter. What would you like to see in the next chapter? Feel free to let me know!


	6. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Kageyama's sickness and memories of the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Dadchi because it's his birthday today (31/12). Hope everyone has a great new year and thanks for all the Kudos and comments! ^w^ <3
> 
> I wanted to explore Kageyama's past a little. I figure he has the sort of family who are very serious about grades and achievement and family honour etc. A.k.a a craptastic family. Poor blueberry. At least he has Karasuno and his SugaMama to take care of him now!

Kageyama didn't remember much about getting home after Takeda-sensei dropped him off. He knew his parents had both been called and they must have had some sort of response or they wouldn't have taken him home, but all he remembered of the journey was a vague jostling about in the back of the car and then the next thing he knew he was in bed. He pretty much drifted in and out of unconsciousness, running a high fever and when the hallway lights came on outside his bedroom all they were, was a yellow blur to his tired eyes and nothing more. A silhouette leaned over him, feeling his forehead and garbled words were spoken but he couldn't process them at all. His brain felt like it had been served up on a teppanyaki grill plate, and heat exhaustion made him dehydrated and parched. He really shouldn't have gone to school. He felt so much worse now. He let sleep claim him again, drifting in delirium. 

He dreamed of being a child this time. Back when his mother only worked part-time and was still around to care for him. He'd gotten sick from a bug that had been going around his preschool class and he remembered his mother placing her hands on his forehead as he huffed and struggled with the heat, panting in exhaustion, her voice speaking though he couldn't seem to focus on her face, couldn't remember what she looked like. "My poor Tobio, you are such a frail child... always getting sick so easily. One day you will be the death of us with worry you know". Tobio had scrunched his eyes up, tears forming. He didn't want to be a burden on his parents. He wanted to get stronger so his Dad and Mom wouldn't have to work so hard all the time. He had vowed not to let himself get sick again after that, and had tried his hardest to become self-sufficient, telling his Mom he would be fine home alone so she could take an extra shift here and there. But he had lied. He had missed his parents terribly. He had spent nights alone, spooked by the darkness and unable to run to his parents and he'd hunched up in his bed with the blankets over his head and cried himself to sleep. 

Gradually though he'd gotten better at repressing his emotions and hiding his fear and loneliness. And in a way that was how his King persona had begun. He'd had to become strong to support himself and cold to his emotions, so he'd shut himself off and focused on getting good enough grades to get into the school his parents wanted him to attend. Kitagawa had been a pretty prestigious middle-school, a lot of the children there were from especially athletically gifted or rich families like Oikawa-senpai, the somewhat precocious and spoiled brat yet highly-talented prodigy of the Kitagawa volleyball team. Seeing him play for the first time had really awakened Kageyama's thirst for playing Volleyball. He had idolised the showy setter and wanted to imitate him in every way. But somehow without trying when he tried to copy Oikawa's moves he just ended up surpassing him in every way. He didn't do it deliberately. He would have been happy to be in the shadow of Oikawa's shining star, but his natural abilities just wouldn't be repressed and when he was on the court he felt free of the shackles of responsibility and hiding his emotions. He felt a joy of life when he was playing. At least until things started to go down-hill. 

He didn't mean to snap at his team-mates. It just seemed like their passion didn't match his and they were always slacking off or acting like it was just a pastime to them, whereas to Kageyama it was everything. It was life itself. They didn't understand him! He began pushing harder and harder, nagging them in the pursuit of that elusive perfect game and as a result he broke the team apart. And they'd started to drift away from him and call him 'The King of the Court'. Following that the coach had just benched him for the rest of the year and he'd been deprived of the joy of playing. The feeling had been like being thrown into a cell with only a tiny window, able to see his team-mates play without him, hear the sounds of joy and know he wasn't a part of it. That he'd been denied the right to play with him. That they HATED him. That agony still haunted him even now that he was with Karasuno. He'd applied to so many great powerhouse schools and his applications turned down and with each failed application his parents had become even more distant from him, working around the clock now, not to put food on the table and pay for his tuition fees, but because they wanted to avoid their shame of a son. The boy who was so out of control that he was turned down by all the prestigious schools. The disgrace of Kitagawa. He didn't blame them if they hated him now. Who would ever want a son like that? A failiure? 

Hinata had turned that around though. His sunshine had broken through the darkness that enveloped his heart and his small hand had reached out to pull Kageyama out of his cage and into the light. He'd been given a second chance and Karasuno in spite of still being practical nobodies in the volleyball world, were the best team he could hope to be with. Because all of them had that passion for the sport that he'd been longing for. All of them took the game seriously and put their everything into it. Even Tsukishima with his bad attitude and apathy towards the sport, had changed because of the influence of Karasuno and other teams. They were a family almost now and they had long since filled the gaps in Kageyama's life from his missing parents. Now they were relying on him to return that dedication, but as had been proven to him he wasn't going to be able to achieve his goals by treating it as a race to the top. Doing so only resulted in him getting sick like this. And that ultimately meant that he lost time to recovery. He was going to have to learn to pace himself and only do as much as he was physically capable of. For now he needed to focus on getting well again. He slept for the rest of the day, a deep sleep that not even dreams could penetrate, as his body slowly recharged itself in preparation for the next stage of the fight.

It was 2 days later when it suddenly occured to him that he'd not been visiting Hinata and suddenly he was in a panic all over again, bolting out of bed and scrambling for the phone dialling so haphazardly that he got a wrong number twice before he managed to control his fingers enough and call Hinata's household. Natsu answered the phone and was immediately blasted by a hyperventilating Kageyama babbling apologies about not visiting Hinata and asking how he was doing. She sighed softly "He's the same really. Not much change. And you don't have to apologise Kageyama-san, we saw you studying in his room every day, we know how tired you were getting, how you were overworking yourself. Mom and I were actually planning to tell you to go home and rest but then you never showed up. One of your upper-classmen stopped by and explained the situation. Sawamura-san I think? Anyway Hinata's alright, so please don't stress yourself. Make sure you rest and get well again before you visit". Kageyama hesitated reluctantly then exhaled "Okay..." he agreed "I'll be there as soon as I'm capable though...". Natsu smiled though she knew the boy on the other end couldn't see it "Alright. We'll be expecting you then" she told him softly, feeling comforted that her brother had found someone that cared so much for him as to put his own life at risk for his sake. Boys were silly and reckless and hopelessly worry-inducing, but at least they had each other now. She chatted with the older high-school boy a little longer, asking him how his studies were going and offering some little tips to improve his retention of knowledge and preparation for exams before they finally ended the call.

Kageyama called Daichi next to thank him for attending the hospital, but for some odd reason he couldn't seem to reach him on his mobile it just rang and rang. The same with Suga's.... obviously his upper-classmen were very busy. Perhaps studying for exams? He sighed and hung up the phone. Speaking to Hinata's little sister had calmed him down a lot. It was funny how different she was from Hinata. He had so much energy and she was so calm and mature by comparison. But Hinata's energy was part of what he had fallen in love with. That endless optimism and brightness no matter how many curve-balls life threw at him. It made the impact of what had happened all the more jarring. Things were so quiet now that Hinata wasn't around. He wasn't the religious sort at all, he'd never seen any use for pleas to a potentially non-existent deity for things that one could achieve themselves with enough hard work. But he closed his eyes now and whispered to the air around him "Please.... bring him back to me.... I need him... his family need him.... Karasuno needs him.... we want our sunshine back...."


	7. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata FINALLY wakes up. Neither of them can adequately express their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so first order of business... small apology for the glaring error I made in my last chapter. I kinda forgot that Hinata's sister Natsu was so much younger than he was. I was kinda pegging her for being in middle school but then I was rewatching season 2 and I was like 'Shit! She might not even be in elementary school yet' so as to the reason why she could give Kageyama exam studying tips when she isn't even in school, lets just say she has to help Hinata study a lot (because he's a doofus) so she probably read a lot of books, plus she's a smart kid, I picture her being pretty advanced beyond her age. 
> 
> 2nd order of business. HINATA IS FINALLY AWAKE! I was literally just running out of ideas what else to post with him being asleep, so I thought fuck it I'll let Kags catch a break and wake him up. That doesn't mean of course that things are not gonna be super awkward whilst those idiots sort their feelings out lol. But I was aiming for a kinda cute and fluffy and not too angsty chapter today to ease us into the new year ^w^

When Kageyama finally got well enough to visit the hospital, what was waiting for him was almost too good to be real. He thought for a minute he was experiencing another fever-dream and that he'd not recovered as fully as he'd thought. Hinata's family were in his room as usual but the boy in the bed had his eyes open! He was quite weak still and unable to sit up, but he seemed to recognise his family and was interacting with them, in his usual casually optimistic way as if nothing much wrong had happened. It pissed Kageyama off. After all the stress and fear and pain he'd endured because of this idiot, he was fine and acting like nothing happened??! He just barely managed to hold his emotions in check until Natsu and her mother went out of the room and then when he was alone with Hinata, he stood there trembling in barely suppressed rage, as Hinata greeted him with his usual smile "Hi Kageyama. Natsu was just telling me you've been visiting me a lot whilst I was sleeping, thanks for...." he didn't get to finish. Kageyama had stormed across the room and grabbed him by the front of his hospital gown, bangs covering his eyes but face dark with fury "Hinata, you dumbass!" he yelled "Do you have any idea how worried I was? I thought you might never wake up! Everyone did! Your Mom, your sister! The rest of the team! Do you know how much pain you put them through? How much you put ME through?" he wanted to keep hold of his anger but tears were already sliding from his eyes and they seemed to perturb Hinata even more than the rage. He was used to an angry Kageyama. He wasn't used to a crying Kageyama. Averting his eyes uncomfortably he dropped the false smile and responded quietly "I k-know... I'm s-sorry... I sh-shouldn't ha-have h-hidden m-my injuries... but I w-wanted to p-p-protect you... all of you.... I d-didn't w-want to see Mom c-cry again... not after D-Dad..." his always optimistic voice faltered, eyes filling with tears. Kageyama exhaled still clutching his shirt but the anger slowly leaking away now "Well you failed you dumbass. Everyone cried a lot. Don't ever hide that shit again. You'd better tell me if you have as much as a migraine, okay?" he demanded roughly, knowing that he was being weirdly intimate in Hinata's eyes, they were partners but he'd never told him how he felt. Didn't that make him as much of a liar and a hypocrite as Hinata? 

He loosened his grip on the small orange-haired boy's gown and averted his eyes downwards tears falling without control "I th-thought I would lose you..." he was speaking but it seemed like his heart was deciding on the words without input from his brain. Hinata tried to pat his arm gently "It's okay Kageyama, I won't leave you alone... I'm sure when I'm all better I can come play with you again..." he told him softly. Kageyama shook his head fiercely "Not that.... not h-how I feel.... I... you...." it was no good he was tripping over the words again. He had never been able to voice his feelings before. But somehow this felt so crucial. He had to get through to Hinata that someone cared about him no matter what, even the hidden secret parts that he thought he had to protect everyone from seeing. Otherwise this was going to happen again. But when he tried to speak his feelings it was like everything inside him twisted up in pain. Like the words just wouldn't come out... Hinata smiled in spite of the tears in his eyes "Tell me... tell me how you feel Kageyama.... I'll listen..." he coaxed him in that sweetly sincere manner he always had, though it was usually hidden by his stupidly energetic act. 

Kageyama scrunched his eyes shut focusing on anger again. It was easier to be angry. It didn't feel as alien coming from his mouth. "Don't patronise me you idiot" he growled which made Hinata start laughing and that annoyed him more "And don't laugh!". Hinata made a face of mock obedience saluting in a silly manner "Yes, your majesty!" , "I told you not to call me that!" he snapped. And just like that the moment was gone. He couldn't tell him how he felt after all. He was just happy to have him back and being his old self. He wasn't feeling secure enough yet to progress beyond that stage. Even in the light of having almost lost the other boy. Hinata was quickly exhausted by the laughter and the energy expelled and he closed his eyes again "Oi! Don't go to sleep dumbass. You just woke up!" Kageyama scolded him, feeling an irrational burst of panic at the idea that popped into his head. What if Hinata went back to sleep and didn't wake up again? What if he died in his sleep this time? He laced his fingers between the other boy's tightly, which made Hinata open his eyes a little more and flush awkwardly "K-Kageyama.... what are you doing?" , "Making sure you don't escape again.... now shut up and rest... you need to heal and come back to the team" the setter responded awkwardly, cheeks an equal shade of red.

Hinata nodded and closed his eyes, dropping into a peaceful sleep. Kageyama swallowed and sighed. Yet again he'd been unable to untangle the mess in his heart and succinctly express his feelings to the other boy. "Coward" he muttered to himself. By the time Natsu and her mother had come back into the room Kageyama had dozed off also, his hand going numb from holding onto Hinata's. Both girls cooed a little at the cuteness of the scene and Hinata's mother draped a blanket over Kageyama tenderly "Lets leave them in peace for now Natsu" she said, Natsu nodded "Yes Mom".

When Hinata woke again later, to find Kageyama sleeping over his chest, fingers still holding his, he blushed a brighter shade than his hair. Kageyama was so weird. One minute he acted like he was mad at Hinata and then the next moment he was being sweet like this and holding his hand and crying about him. He couldn't deny that the attention made him feel happy. Since meeting Kageyama gradually he'd been able to forget the pain of his father leaving them. Sharing a love for volleyball had felt like freedom. Like flying away from the problems of guilt and responsibility. He hadn't told anyone, but he blamed himself for his father leaving. He wasn't a good enough son. He was too stupid. Too small. Too.... everything that was wrong about a person. Then he'd seen the Little Giant play for the first time and it had given him hope that being small wasn't a bad thing. That he could play and achieve something great in spite of being who he was. And since then he'd never looked back. He'd progressed tenaciously like a weed trying to grow through concrete, taking losses as stepping stones to continue aspiring upwards. He remembered first meeting Kageyama when his middle school had played Kitagawa and the anger he'd felt at the tall 'King of the Court' who had looked down on him like an insignificant bug. He'd been determined to beat him as his rival ever since. But somehow when they'd ended up in Karasuno together gradually he'd forgotten about that goal. He'd just been happy playing alongside Kageyama as a team-mate rather than a rival. Somehow when they were together it felt like two pieces of a puzzle snapping together and everything made sense. Kageyama boosted him higher and together they achieved their goals much more successfully than alone. 

He watched the sleeping boy looking so peaceful, yet so exhausted. He must have been working so hard alone whilst he was just sleeping here in comfort. He would have to make up for that. He'd get stronger and be able to support himself again so Kageyama and the others didn't have to worry about him. No wait. Doing that had got him in this predicament in the first place. He was going to have to start relying on his team a little more. He chuckled to himself as he realised he was being kinda like Kageyama back in the early days when he wanted to 'receive, toss and spike all by myself'. And that was really dumb. Dumbass Hinata. Yup that was him. He reached with his free hand to gingerly touch the silky black bangs of the setter boy, they were so soft, and his face with its angular lines was weirdly beautiful. Wait. What was he even thinking?! He blushed harder and shook his head, slapping his cheeks "Get a grip Shouyou" he told himself. Kageyama was his rival and his team-mate. Only those things. Well... okay granted after all the attention and care he'd shown him whilst he'd been in a coma he supposed he ought to upgrade the poor guy to a friend at least. Assuming that was what Kageyama wanted? It was hard to tell with the setter. He had two modes. He was either yelling or stoic as hell. There was no in-between! "Stupid Kageyama..." he muttered continuing to pet his hair absently in an angry manner. Feelings were confusing!


	8. Stupidity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata and Kageyama have a petty fight. Kageyama reflects on whether it's his fault or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter today folks and sorry for no upload yesterday. I had a bit of a really bad day yesterday. Someone that I know (but I'm not sure who) followed me to this site and started leaving anonymous hateful messages trying to bully me to stop writing and telling me I ruin characters and my writing is shit, which being as I already suffer from depression and anxiety and feel really insecure about my writing, really didn't help at all, so I was a bit of a mess yesterday. But I'm going to try and keep uploading. Unfortunately as a result of this horrible person I've had to disable guest-commenting, so I'm really sorry any guest readers who wanted to leave nice feedback, you won't be able to. You can thank vindictive nasty bullies for spoiling that for you. Anyway fingers crossed this will be the end of it.

Kageyama woke up sometime in the evening to find Hinata asleep again, his fingers absently resting on his head and blushed a deep scarlet in response. Stupid Hinata. How did he think he could just casually touch him like that? Didn't he know what effect that would have on him! Moving to de-tangle himself from the sleeping boy, he was almost successful except for the hand he'd linked with Hinata's. When he tried to pull that free, Hinata's brow creased and he moaned softly in his sleep, clinging on tighter, breathing softly "K-Kageyama..." in his sleep, which made the setter grow even redder. Dumbass Hinata! Sighing he remained attached, even though his stomach was growling loudly. He'd come here this morning straight from home and hadn't had anything to eat yet today. He was absolutely ravenous!

By the time Hinata opened his eyes again, Kageyama's stomach totally hurt with hunger and he was feeling moody and weak so he wasn't in the best of moods, his dulled gaze fixed angrily on the redhead when his eyes opened "Finally awake are we? Do you think you could let me go before I starve to death?" he grumbled, wearing a standard scary Kageyama face, no less impacting in spite of his tired features. In fact it seemed more savage given the edge of hunger. Hinata realised he was still holding onto Kageyama and reddened also releasing his hand "F-F-Fine!" he squeaked "I d-didn't w-want to h-hold your h-hand anyway... it w-was a um... wh-what's the word? Su-sub-subconscious act!" he protested in spite of being tomato red. Kageyama exhaled and let his anger go. He couldn't stay mad at Hinata for some reason. He used to be able to hold a grudge for quite a while. But lately, it seemed everything the little blocker did was so unbearably cute, it took every bit of his strength of will not to simply coo at him. He rose with a sigh "I need food okay... d-do you want anything to eat? Wait.... are you even allowed food yet?" he realised that Hinata was probably on a particular strict diet right now and he didn't want to get in trouble with the doctors for breaking that. Hinata had perked up like a puppy at the mention of food, the familiar cry of 'Meat' practically hanging on his lips waiting to be uttered, but at Kageyama's hesitation he frowned in thought and then sighed with a shrug "I don't know... but I'm reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally hungry... Kageyama pleeeeeeeeeeeease can I have some food? I swear I'll chew extra carefully!" he turned the puppy-dog eyes on the taller boy. Kageyama turned his head away so he couldn't look at those eyes and be swayed by them. Damn that little orange runt, he was getting way too crafty and pushing his luck. "No way" he responded flat-out with his hand held up palm forward as if to repel the other boy's charms "Not until the doctors say you can. I'm not gonna be responsible for you choking, or having a reaction and getting worse!" , "Awww! Don't be so stingy Kageyama! You big meanie! It's just a teeny tiny bit of meat! Meat is the food of the gods! God wouldn't create anything that was bad for you!" , "Dumbass! Don't bring God into this, that has nothing to do with doctor's orders" the argument continued for some minutes until eventually a nurse showed up and the result of the furore was that Kageyama got kicked out. Great. Now he couldn't even watch over Hinata. And the last thing he'd seen of the middle blocker was him pouting and folding his arms over his chest which meant he was mad at him. 

He sighed remembering their last big battle of wills back in the Nekoma & Fukurodani training camp, when he'd wanted to practise a new quick and Kageyama had immediately shut him down, the result had been that he ought to have had faith in his partner's abilities all along. But did that translate to hospital and doctor's orders? He didn't know. He just wanted things to be right with Hinata. Seeing him mad at him shook him way more now than it had ever done in the past. Before he would be in his own stubborn funk each determined they were the right one. But now? Now he would happily admit he was wrong just to see Hinata smile again. What was up with that? "You're turning into a real pussy Tobio" he told himself with a sigh as he trudged out of the hospital just in time to almost run into Hinata's family, he bowed to the mother formally but she shook her head "Come now, you've been close enough to my Shouyou that formality like that is not necessary anymore Kageyama-kun, you're a good boy I know that, so you're like another son to me" she told him with a bright smile so like her son. Now that Hinata was awake again, he could feel the happiness that surrounded his family, the sensation of relief and warmth. He wished his own family would treat him like that. That feeling of emptiness and loneliness everytime he was in his house. He really craved to be part of a family like this. To have a sweet and caring little sister like Natsu and a mother who obviously cared so much about her son that just the thought of him being taken away from her, made her fall apart. He wanted to be needed like Hinata was. Dumbass Hinata. He had all this and he took it for granted. 

But right now he had to be honest. He sighed and averting his eyes downwards he half mumbled "We f-fought... I d-don't.... I don't th-think he l-likes me right n-now.... he p-probably doesn't w-want me around his f-family. I'm j-just gonna go h-home for now... thanks f-for your k-kindness" he spoke to the floor, shoulders drooping involuntarily feeling rejected, a hot feeling bubbling up behind his eyes again that was a definite tell-tale of tears and he didn't want to cry in front of Hinata's family again. He didn't want them to worry about him. He bowed his head and bit his lip mumbling apologies and then pushed past and out the hospital door, hearing them calling after him, he was barely a few feet down the road when tears were blurring his vision again. Stupid Hinata. Why did he have to mess with his heart like this? And why why was he so hopelessly in love with him? And when would he ever be able to spit out the truth? He just didn't know and the feelings were like a flame in his chest slowly burning him alive from the inside. It hurt so much! He found himself stumbling into a nearby playground and collapsing with exhaustion on the abandoned swing-set. Of course there would be no kids around at this time of night, but that suited him because he normally scared kids and animals and he couldn't deal with explaining to angry mothers right now that he wasn't in fact bullying their children he just had such a scary face that they started crying on sight of him. Maybe it was him that was defective? He couldn't make friends in any of his former schools. His parents didn't want him. Animals hissed and cowered from him. Babies started screaming if he so much as looked into their prams. He had to be some sort of monster clearly. The Great Demon King Kageyama, devourer of souls! Yeah no... that was too ridiculous even for his own mind to conjure up and he rolled his red-rimmed eyes at himself even whilst they were still leaking tears, rubbing at his face "Idiot" he muttered to himself. Hinata's stupidity was becoming contagious.


	9. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata has lingering mobility issues following his coma and panicks that he may not be able to overcome them. Kageyama tries to support him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE CLIFFHANGER WARNING! Sorry but I needed to throw one of these in here, even though I know you ladies (and gentlemen) will curse my name for it! Ahaha! Hopefully things will move forward from here! Also it's my head-canon that although Hinata usually doesn't like filthy words, when he's really stressed and upset he WILL swear.

Eventually after a few sleepless nights, and stressful school days where he seemed to mess up frequently in practice and as Tsukishima so kindly put it 'had his head up his own ass', and couldn't seem to absorb anything Yamaguchi was teaching him, he resolved to go and see Hinata again. He knew he was opening himself up to more pain if the other boy was still mad, but leaving it unresolved like this was just going to haunt him every waking or attempted sleeping hour anyway, so what choice did he have? 

When he got to the hospital however Hinata's bed was empty and he was suddenly assailed by a panic. Had something happened to him whilst he'd been off immaturely sulking like a bratty child who didn't get their own way? What if... what if.... a thousand possibilities paraded themselves in front of his mind each worse than the previous one. What if Hinata had DIED and they'd taken his body to the morgue. He started to tremble like a leaf, legs almost losing the ability to hold him upright, but spinning on them anyway and sprinted in a lurching clumsy manner to the nearest nurse station practically terrorizing the poor nurse on duty as he babbled at her, panting for breath and blue eyes half crazed "Wh-wh-where is he?" he stammered hands on his knees, not winded by the run so much as the fact that panic was starting to make him hyperventilate. "Sir?" the nurse asked almost fearfully, wondering if this boy had escaped from the psych ward. No he was wearing a school uniform, that meant he had to be a visitor, but goodness she didn't think she'd ever seen anyone so flustered before "Hi-Hi-Hina-Hinata..." the boy wheezed "Sh-sho-shoy-ou", his legs gave out and he slumped. Oh dear! This child was definitely having a full-on panic attack! She moved into action immediately supporting him out of the corridor and trying to coax him to breathe deeply and evenly speaking soothingly to him "There there, just focus on your breathing. Are you a relative of Hinata-kun?" Kageyama breathlessly shook his head and gratefully accepted the cup of water she passed to him, thankful it was plastic because he was sure he would drop a glass right now, that's how badly his hands had been shaking since the fight with Hinata. It seemed the more stressed and emotional he got, the more the trembling increased. When he felt he could breathe enough to speak he responded "N-not... family... he's.... my c-classmate..." , "Ah I remember you... you're that boy that always sleeps in his room.... Hmm... well... I'm not strictly allowed to tell you about his personal details and schedule... but I suppose it won't hurt if I just say he's scheduled for physiotherapy right now... Hinata-kun has been comatose for about a month and his muscles need to be retrained so he can walk again, and there's concerns about the damage to his head possibly affecting his mobility.... but you didn't hear that from me, okay?"

Kageyama's head reeled. Hinata might not be able to walk? He hoped and prayed that was a temporary situation because it was going to destroy Hinata otherwise. Picturing that small face scrunched up with despair, propelled him to his feet "C-Can I see him?" he asked the nurse, trying his best to look pleading even though his face wasn't made for the 'puppy-dog' look at all. Somehow the result just made him look derpy instead, the nurse again wondered to herself if this boy was somehow mentally challenged, there was definitely some sort of behavioural disorder at work there. Probably undiagnosed judging by how unaware of it he seemed to be. Honestly, parents needed to be more proactive and responsible with their children's health! "Well I'll let you take a little peek through the door, but you can't go in, it's a restricted area" she told him, taking pity on the boy. Kageyama inclined his head in a polite bow to the nurse of gratitude and she smiled. Well at least he had good manners. Poor kid. 

When they reached the physiotherapy room, Kageyama had to peer through the glass panel of the door, watching Hinata frustrated and clearly in pain trying to use the bars to support himself, his arms were trembling and he kept falling sideways and his legs barely seemed to move at all. He remembered the sheer force of power and energy that Hinata had been on the court and closed his eyes in anguish to see him in such pain now. He felt a deep longing in his chest to just run in there and support Hinata and protect him. He seemed so frail! That wasn't the Hinata he knew! After a moment he dropped his head down and muttered low "I've s-seen enough... th-thanks for your h-help..." he told the nurse and moved quickly away from her before she could ask any further questions. He returned to Hinata's room and curled in the chair by the window and cried. He cried because he was scared for Hinata, because he hated seeing him in pain like that, because he still felt the lingering panic that Hinata might not make it, because he was tired and stressed and fed up of being miserable. He wanted things to go back to the old days. When Hinata's smile brightened up his life and chased away the pain. But he couldn't be an emotional leech to Hinata forever. It was unfair to expect him to only support him, and not to return the favour. Hinata was struggling now and he needed someone to be there for him. Someone who would be strong enough to help him bear those burdens that were crushing him right now. And being strong meant you didn't cry and feel sorry for yourself. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. He had to be strong for Hinata. He had to bear with his mood-swings and anything crappy he might say and do. That was what you did when you loved someone right? You cared for them no matter what. 

By the time Hinata returned bruised and exhausted to the room, wearing a face like thunder, Kageyama had somehow managed to completely compose himself, the only signs of his former meltdown being the red rims to his eyes which were starting to be such a common trait they were almost to be expected. He tried to smile as warmly as possible for the other boy even though his lips were trembling slightly with nervousness "Hi Hinata... I was waiting for you..." he began softly. Hinata shrugged off the nurse's assistance and flopped onto the bed grumpily, mood still under a dark cloud and not much like the old sunshine Hinata at all. It was like every fibre of his essence had changed, his large amber eyes were dark sludge brown, even his springy red hair had gone limp and seemed to lack vibrancy. It was horrible just looking at this Hinata, but Kageyama willed himself to remain strong and not break eye contact. "I heard you've been training hard this morning... that's good. I've also been practising with the guys and...." , "I DON'T CARE!" Hinata snapped abruptly, seething with anger still at his failed physiotherapy and not thinking about how harsh he was being. "Why are you telling me about the damn team? It doesn't matter! It's not like I can ever go back! These useless things won't even fucking move!" he half screamed gesturing to his legs spread out on the bed "I heard the doctors talking. I know what they've been saying. They said I damaged my head too bad and I might not regain mobility. So don't tell me about what a good time you're having with the team when you KNOW I can't come back" he scrunched his eyes shut shaking in a mixture of rage and grief. Kageyama reached out to try and touch his arm comfortingly but was roughly slapped away. The middle blocker was a little ball of fury right now and it was the only thing fuelling him, as everything else had been sucked dry apparently after hearing the news.

"So you're just going to give up?" Kageyama kept his voice steady, kept his gaze on Hinata and resolved not to flinch or cry if his scathing words hurt him "What about all that shit you said to Ushiwaka huh? About overcoming seeming impossible odds and breaking through? When has Hinata ever given up?" he argued back, though he kept his voice from rising too much, lest he ended up getting kicked out again for provoking the patient "It's not the fucking same Kageyama and you know it! It's not about having willpower. I've tried and I can't move! I'm worse than pathetic! I haven't even the right to be a bench-warmer right now" Hinata's anger had given way to tears and he was trembling and almost every fibre of Kageyama's body wanted to hug him and comfort him and tell him it would all be alright. But he couldn't yet. He had to deal with his partner's dying spark of fight. He had to prevent Hinata giving up on his dreams "You've been asleep for a month, of course your limbs aren't going to respond the way you want them to right away. You have to train them. You have to make them remember how to move again. Neither of us started out having all the skills we have now, did we? I distinctly remember you were a weedy little snot-nosed brat with big dreams he had no idea how to fulfil. But you kept reaching forward and you achieved them! And the odds were no less terrifying than they are now. You have to keep believing in yourself!" , "Oh... c-c-cut... the b-bullshit... Kageyama... s-since wh-when... were you... M-Mr G-Guidance C-Counsellor? Isn't that... Takeda-sensei's... j-job? You... t-taking over.... for him now?" Hinata choked between the sobs.

Kageyama clenched his fist and willed himself not to be angry though it was really hard. "No, but I'll be damned if I let you give up on yourself you dumbass! You're MY partner and I'm not letting you sit here and waste your abilities feeling sorry for yourself. You are going to damn well keep training until you can do this! And I'll be behind you every step of the way, okay? You moron! B-Because.... because I...." he faltered at that point, again struggling to say the truth about his feelings to Hinata. "Because you what?" the tearfilled eyes were on him intently, watching him almost daring him to spit out the words. He couldn't hope to motivate others to be brave and endure pain if he was too afraid to ever make a move himself. He sighed and lowered his head to gaze at his hands twisting nervously in his lap, he bit his lip and reached out tentatively to touch the small red-haired boy's upper arm, blue eyes meeting amber ones with intensity and sincerity "Because I'm in love with you...."


	10. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata responds to Kageyama's confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shortish chapter today but it's extra fluffy so enjoy! ^3^ <3 
> 
> My dear sweet boys, ahh writing these two gives me such life! 
> 
> (I was up at 5am writing this tooth-rotting crap lmao. What can I say? I caught myself up in the feels train that is their relationship)
> 
> Trigger Warning - Use of ableist slurs.

Hinata stared at Kageyama, his amber eyes wide as the words the setter had uttered played over and over in his mind. Had he just said... that? His brain literally couldn't process what he'd heard, even though he knew there was nothing wrong with his hearing. But perhaps it was just wishful thinking on his part? Who would want a broken thing like him? Something that would only be a burden for the future? Something that even his own father had run hurriedly away from? "Why...." was all that fell from his lips, though the tears continued to fall from his eyes. Kageyama watched the way his friend seemed to break-down and lost his own composure finally, biting his lip and averting his eyes "I'm sorry... I know it's probably the last thing you want.... we're rivals and I'm complicating things with my feelings... but... it's true.... it's the only thing I can say is 100% true and genuine in my life right now.... I.... I love you Hinata Shouyou" he repeated cheeks branded scarlet, which showed at least he wasn't acting, it wasn't possible to fake that level of redness. Hinata started to sob and tremble "W-Why m-m-me... why n-now? I'm n-nothing now... j-just a.... a c-c-cripple... a s-stupid c-cripple that n-nobody n-needs around.... w-why would you f-fall in l-love with this?" he sobbed, covering his face with his hands. 

Kageyama moved to envelop him in his arms, aware of how small he was "I think it happened a while back... probably started when we first met... when I first saw you on the court... I didn't want to admit it back then, but I couldn't take my eyes off you, you were so alive... but it's not just about that... it's been getting stronger lately... these feelings aren't just because of volleyball... and they're not about whether or not you'll ever use your legs again... so please PLEASE don't ever say you're useless... or a burden! Have you even SEEN how happy your family are just to have you awake again? Mine wouldn't even notice if I disappeared I don't think... if you're stupid and unneeded then so am I! So let's need each other okay? I need you Hi... I mean Sh-Shouyou... I need you... I'll be your strength if you let me... I'll help you..." the blue eyes were brimming with tears but so sincere. Hinata stopped fighting him and just let him hold him, feeling the warmth and strength of his arms around him, his face was scarlet, bright scarlet and he didn't even trust himself to speak right now he was in such shock. 

Eventually he responded in a dull croak "I need you too... I think I always have.... you piss me off a lot... but that gives me the will to keep fighting... when Dad left he took so much of my spirit away with me... but meeting you for the first time made me forget that... I could just play and forget the pain of reality... but now... wh-what if I can't play again? I want to keep playing... I don't want to be broken... help me please..." he reached out to clutch Kageyama's arm with such desperation in his tearful amber eyes that it genuinely felt like a knife in the setter's heart. How could he deny a request like that? Reaching to pet the fluffy orange hair of the boy before him he commented as gently as he could "You don't even have to ask Shouyou... I'll definitely fight with you through this... I'll support you however far it takes... don't give up please...", he wasn't sure what exactly would be demanded of him to fulfil that promise, but he was willing to go through Hell if necessary to get Hinata back to his old self. The Hinata with a spark of passion in his eyes and a love for life in his smile. The broken bird of a boy in his arms was too delicate, he loved him still in all forms, but he wouldn't deny that he wanted him back to health as soon as possible. It worried him to see Hinata so weak, so despairing. 

"Okay" the boy in his arms sounded exhausted and innocent in a child-like way "I'll k-keep fighting... for you Ka...f-for you T-Tobio..." he clearly struggled with something as intimate as Kageyama's first name and blushed so red he resembled a tomato, exuding an almost fever-heat as he rested his head on the other boy's shoulders. Just the mention of his name from the other boy's lips almost made steam come out of Kageyama's ears himself, his face also beetroot red. He reached with trembling hands to caress the soft fluffy hair, like downy feathers of a chick "Rest now... you're tired... I'll keep watch" he told him trying to compose his runaway emotions so he could be the adult in this situation and help Hinata. "You too..." Hinata breathed sleepily, moving his own hand to touch the silky bangs of the setter "Rest with me... you're tired too... I can tell... you t-take care of me... and I'll take care of you..." he managed a small tired smile, the expression so very cute that Kageyama couldn't help but smile back, and it was one of the few really genuine smiles that had ever shown on the setter's face. Normally they were strained and scary, or nervous and trembling with excitement. But this was a normal smile. A sweet smile that seemed to light up his blue eyes and seeing it made Hinata's heart throb more fiercely in his chest mumbling red-faced "You're beautiful..." in a dazed way and he meant it. Kageyama was dishevelled and exhausted, his eyes were red-rimmed, wet with tears and bore dark circles from sleepless nights, but at that moment he couldn't have looked more perfect. 

Kageyama blushed more at the compliment, but still managed to find enough spirit to tease the boy in his arms "Perhaps. Or maybe you've fallen under the nefarious spells of the Great Demon Lord Kageyama, muahahaha!" he made a fake villainous expression, which caused Hinata to burst into giggles "Dork" he slapped his chest lightly, already feeling the pain and exhaustion of his body seeping away. Was this the power of love? It was strong. Maybe strong enough that they could find their way out of this hell. Feeling such optimistic thoughts he fell asleep fingers lacing through Kageyama's and gripping his hand tightly as the setter rested his head on the edge of the bed and slept alongside him, both of them wearing sweet contented expressions.

When Hinata's mother arrived later and saw them together, and how happy her Shoyou looked, her heart filled with affection, moving to pat the silken dark hair of the boy at her son's bedside, as she placed a blanket gently over his shoulders "Thank you" she spoke tearfully moved with gratitude for the boy that had come into her son's life "Thank you for making my Shouyou smile again" and with that she bowed to press a soft motherly kiss to each boy's forehead and then left them in peace to rest together. Because the gods only knew the poor children needed it after all they'd been through.


	11. Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata trains to recover his mobility but hits a wall with his progress and starts to stress out about it. Kageyama suffers because he can't help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay big apologies for this chapter because the mood is ALL OVER THE PLACE and there is definitely going to be some Feels Whiplash from the way it flips back and forth between fluff and angst. I just didn't think that Hinata would realistically bounce back from a head injury serious enough to put him in a coma without some lasting damage and unfortunately it seems his legs are weaker now :( 
> 
> What this means for his future on Karasuno is unknown but he and Kags are sticking together now no matter what. Hopefully this will be the last chapter where I'll really have to hurt the poor blueberry. I honestly never enjoy writing such bad things happening to him, because as Natsu points out he's a cinnamon roll and needs all the love and hugs and praise. But! Result of angst is Hinata kissed him! So that's good right?

After that night in the hospital, the boys worked out a schedule together that would be intensive enough to push Hinata to achieve without straining him too much or causing him further harm. Hinata's mother gave Kageyama clearance to stay with Hinata whilst he did his physio, insisting he was part of the family too and crucial to her son's recovery and daring any hospital staff to argue with her on the matter. She had very firmly tucked young Kageyama under her wing, so to speak and wasn't going to tolerate anyone making him sad again. That poor boy had cried enough especially because of her own harsh words at first and guilt demanded she compensate for that, though Kageyama had insisted it didn't matter, that it was all forgiven and forgotten and he was used to much worse. As if that made things better! Obviously something was wrong with his birth parents' heads to let their child be neglected so much that he clearly struggled so much socially and thought so low of himself as to even welcome abuse. Well no more! He would be taken care of properly from now on!

As soon as Hinata was cleared from his 'nil by mouth' order, she began to work on making nutritious bentos for her two 'sons' bringing them for when the boys got out of physio along with Hinata's favourite juice and a carton of milk especially for Kageyama, greeting them however stressed and sweaty and disheartened they might be from fluctuating levels of progress, with a warm smile and a comforting aura. Hinata would pep up immediately with a big grin and a "Thanks Mom!" chirping brightly from his mouth, however down he'd seemed beforehand. He had a duty to keep his Mom smiling after all. Kageyama's smile would be more shy and tentative but also more genuine than Hinata's 'just for reassurance' variety. He'd incline his head politely and thank her for her kindness, and then when she typically lightly-scolded him for being too formal, he'd rub the back of his head sheepishly and look softly content to be finally receiving some real familial love. Even if it wasn't from his own parents. 

Natsu and Kageyama weirdly seemed to get along great. Even Hinata was confused by it. Kageyama struggled with his studies sometimes because whilst he was good at memorising stuff, he was also easily distracted and struggled to focus, he also had a hair-trigger temper and could easily be provoked to sulking, by Hinata's reckoning. Whereas his sister was pure sweetness and innocence, the model of a good girl who helped her mother around the house and didn't seem to have a naughty streak in her, though Hinata remembered a few occasions where that hadn't exactly been true, mostly early on when she'd been a toddler and a little more wayward. Either way their personas seemed to go together like chalk and cheese. Yet somehow whilst he'd been sleeping it was like his little sister and his partner had built this silent bond that he couldn't fathom no matter how hard he tried. Unbeknownst to him Natsu liked Kageyama because she had entrusted her brother to him, she knew he would take care of him when they were grown and she couldn't be at his side anymore, she had always been a very mature little girl and had already begun considering her future and how it may take her away from home possibly via marriage or work or some other reason. Nobody knew what exactly the future had in store and knowing there was someone she could trust with her fragile and easily hurt brother, someone who could comfort him when he was afraid to show anyone his real pain... that was why she liked Kageyama. Also she knew he was a good guy just by the way he was. He may be moody and awkward at times, but when he was genuinely happy he got this little blush on his cheeks and smiled so sweetly that there was no doubt of the pure soul residing in him. Natsu's cinnamon-roll radar never failed. For Kageyama it was the thrill of having a 'sibling' at last, even if technically she was Hinata's little sister and not his. He'd spent a lonely and frightening childhood, and so it felt like he was learning how to interact with people from scratch, and he was nervous about it. Natsu eased those interactions with her sweetness and honesty and she gave him frank responses to his questions and tried to help him wherever she could with winning her brother's heart over. When they were in conspiracy mode together, Hinata often sneezed and shivered a little feeling a disturbance and wondering what those two were plotting... so scary!

Finally after another month or so of progress Hinata finally started being able to move his legs, rigorous programmes of leg-muscle strengthening and yoga and other such treatments and techniques had paid off, though he was far from being strong enough to play volleyball yet, and that was the part that seemed to really get him down. He was getting frustrated it was obvious. Being able to walk wasn't enough! He wanted to play sports again! But as it stood, he could still barely stand upright unsupported and needed a cane or a walker to move. The chances of him ever returning to Karasuno were getting slimmer and slimmer and his pain grew with each setback. The doctors kept warning him not to push himself too far, they said ultimately he had progressed as far as he was able to, and it was a miracle he had even regained the ability to walk really, because most people with brain damage as severe as Hinata's had been, were left paraplegic or wheelchair-bound for the rest of their lives. Hinata's legs would involuntarily tremble and spasm sometimes of their own accord, and he tired easily, but he could walk with the cane for support and if he took frequent rests. But that wasn't enough for him. 

Kageyama's heart bled knowing the feeling of wanting to play volleyball and being denied. You felt trapped and panicky like an animal in a box deprived on oxygen and the unknown darkness looming all around you, waiting to drag you down in despair. He had felt a sample of this when he'd become the 'King of the Court' and been resigned to his bench throne, denied of playing with team-mates who had rebelled against him. And that had been pretty much self inflicted by his own stupidity. He couldn't even imagine how much agony Hinata was in. He tried to talk to him, but it seemed lately anger had closed Hinata's heart off, and he was being stubborn again and lashing out on others. He knew Hinata didn't mean to yell at him, he was just in pain. Nonetheless it hurt when he loved the boy so much. To be so powerless. He'd promised he'd help Hinata play again. Driven him not to give up. And now this. He didn't blame Hinata for practically spitting flames at him. He would feel the same way. He started to sink back into depression again and even the bentos and tenderness from Hinata's family couldn't reach him now. He'd failed Hinata. He'd promised to protect him and he'd let him get hurt the worst way possible. It was his fault. All his fault. 

He sat with Hinata whilst he trained ever more and more trying to force activity out of his limbs that simply wouldn't come. Instead all that happened was he started having the opposite effect on himself. He was LESS mobile instead of more. He collapsed frequently from exhaustion and began to get migraines and even nosebleeds. When the first nosebleed happened it was so jarring for Kageyama so terrifying that he started to experience a PTSD flashback to the accident. Blood on Hinata's face. Blood on his face. He'd actually gone into a panic attack again at that point, pulling Hinata's trembling bleeding body to his chest and screaming for help until his voice cracked and disappeared, hyperventilating until the lack of oxygen meant the nurses found both boys blacked out on the physio room's floor. After that they weren't allowed to train unattended and had to have someone on duty watching them at all times. Someone who strictly regulated the times and would interrupt Hinata by force and escort him out of the room. Kageyama worsened mentally after that, his depression became worse and worse and he kept getting those flashbacks. 

It hurt Hinata's mother to see her boys in such a state. She scolded Hinata for pushing himself so much that he was hurting himself, asking him why he really played volleyball. Hinata had been thrown by the simplicity of the question. Wasn't it obvious why he played? But when he thought about it more, the question kept coming back to him. He'd always said that volleyball was fun. But what he was putting himself through right now for the sake of volleyball was not fun. Not in the slightest. So it couldn't be just for that. Then why? Then he understood. It was all about worth. He'd always been fighting to be seen, to be noticed, to be loved. To regain some feeling of worth after his father had abandoned them. His mother gave him a sad but knowing smile "My poor boy.... you don't see what's right in front of you. You don't need an audience cheering you on. You have all the attention and love and being needed from us your family, and from Tobio-kun. He's been with you from the first moment you came here you know. 3 months. And he walks here every day through the snow without complaint. For you. Isn't that worth enough Shouyou? Isn't that dedication and love aplenty for your heart?" she had told him softly and Hinata had looked at Kageyama sitting across the room, at the hollowed out look on his face that he'd called beautiful just a few months ago. He'd taken all the life-force of his partner and sucked it dry. Kageyama looked like someone haunted by ghosts, pale, and his blue eyes were dulled and brimming with tears, seeming to stare at things he couldn't see. He'd broken him! Broken that beautiful soul! He rose on trembling legs and stumbled to the other boy's side, pulling him into a hug, sobbing apologies "Tobio! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I... I got too focused... I forgot what was important... please Tobio! Come back to me... don't make that face... it breaks my heart!" he begged the other boy, tugging at his shirt with fists as he cried on the other boy's chest.

Kageyama's mind was a fog, but he recognised the feel of Hinata's hands, the blur of reddish hair through tear-filled eyes, he murmured softly "A nightmare... couldn't escape it... you... kept bleeding..." sounding almost dream-like in his haze. Hinata slapped his cheek to try and snap him out of it, then when that didn't work he closed his mouth over the other boy's kissing him with the full force of his feelings "I'm sorry Tobio. I don't need anyone else. I only need you!" he told him, amber eyes leaking tears. Kageyama's blue eyes suddenly sharpened seeming to see again, heat rising to his face from the kiss, he reached for the smaller boy pulling him close, spilling the tears in his eyes, letting Hinata take his turn to comfort him now "I th-thought.. I w-was... g-going to... l-lose you... I f-failed you... Sh-Shoyou.... I p-p-promised you... that I'd... h-help you.... p-play v-volleyball... again" he managed between sobs, clearly distraught and shaking like a frightened child. Suddenly both Hinata and his mother were hugging him tightly "It's not your fault Tobio-kun, you're a good boy, you're such a good boy" Hinata's mother was crying too now, feeling such sympathy for the poor shaking boy in her son's arms. He'd suffered such trauma because of their family. "Mom's right, you are good Tobio... even if you get mad easily... it's just because you care so much... I'm sorry I didn't see it before... I'm an idiot... I'm such an idiot!" Hinata was bawling too and the three created quite a scene between them of melodrama and tears.

When the hysterics eventually calmed down Hinata remained holding Kageyama "It's okay Tobio, you tried so hard, we both did. I don't expect you to obtain the impossible. And at least I can walk. It's better than the result I expected at first. You don't have to blame yourself. You didn't fail me. If anything I failed you..." he told him softly "I stopped believing in you and I left you alone to suffer again. I promise I'll never do that again. No matter what happens now, no matter what else fate throws at us, I'll stay by your side". His mother sighed "Honestly Shouyou you're tempting bad luck saying such things, but I support you boys. And Tobio-kun please don't think badly of yourself again, okay? You are a good child and I'm very proud of your kindness and sincerity" she moved to ruffle both boys' hair "Now if you're done turning a poor woman's hair white... I need to see to Natsu. Both of you REST. You need to get well if you're ever going to come home Shouyou, and I'll be expecting Tobio at my dinner table too, understand?" her expression broke no arguments and even as exhausted as he felt, Kageyama managed a soft lopsided smile, rubbing the lingering tears from his eyes and nodding responding in a voice somewhat croaky from emotion "I'll...l-look f-forward to it..."


	12. Adventures in Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama and Hinata have no clue about romance and try to find out by various means. Kageyama calls Oikawa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oookay so this chapter was SUPER HARD to write hence the late upload. Oikawa is very difficult to write and characterise accurately. Especially with a subject matter as awkward as this, and Kageyama himself is kind of OOC in this chapter too. But well, I tried my best....

As it turned out Hinata got out of the hospital around late November, exactly 3 months after he'd first entered. The hospital had been adamant about not releasing him until they were 100% sure that he had stopped having the little blackouts that had come from over-exerting himself in the physio room. Now that he'd agreed to relax a bit with that regard, he'd been given the all clear. But he would still have to attend regular check-ups and was scheduled for a CAT scan to check on the overall condition of his brain following the accident. Kageyama hadn't been able to resist joking a little meanly to Hinata "Too bad, they won't be able to find anything" shaking his head in mock sadness. Hinata tilted his head "No damage? That's a good thing right?" , "No dumbass. No brain" Kageyama responded and got roughly elbowed in the side by the shorter orange-haired boy "Like you can talk BAKAgeyama!" , "Not anymore I'm not... my grades are pretty good now" he couldn't resist the little boast, actually feeling quite proud that he'd achieved something out of his studies, even if he knew he couldn't have done it without the tireless assistance of people like Yamaguchi and Yachi-chan from class 1-5, and even that megane asshole Tsukishima, though he'd die before he ever admitted he owed him anything. 

Hinata flopped a little "Unfair... I've been out of school for 3 months. I'm probably never going to catch up" he pouted, large almond-shaped brown eyes staring down at the ground "I'm going to flunk out of school and have to be the janitor or something and they'll make me clean the gym for the rest of my life until I'm old!" he wailed and Kageyama sighed giving him a light knock on top of his head careful not to use too much pressure but enough for it to be a 'Oi. Stop that' gesture. "Stop panicking you dumbass. Obviously I'll help you. I said I would didn't I?" he rolled his blue eyes, but kept his hand on the smaller boy's head for a moment "Just take it a step at a time, remember? That's what we agreed. If you try to rush everything, things just go to hell". Hinata smirked up at the setter "Kageyama Tobio is lecturing me on patience? The guy with the worst temper on the team and known primadonna of his previous school?" he wore a playful expression, his grin clearly baiting the other boy to react. Kageyama huffed, obviously annoyed and demonstrating that Hinata's taunts had reached their intended mark, but he managed to rein his temper in, just about, responding tersely with a small tsundere blush "Well someone has to control your insane hyperactivity. Otherwise you're going to get hurt again. I guess that's gotta be me. You'd better appreciate the sacrifice". Hinata poked his tongue out, pulling at one eye childishly "Yes Your Majesty, I'll endeavour to be an obedient subject". The hand on his head tightened imperceptibly "Don't push your luck Hinata...." the warning tone hung there and the orange haired boy sighed "Your sense of humour is as bad as ever, at least that hasn't changed"

Kageyama surprisingly instead of getting angrier looked awkward and a little uncomfortable, the small blush on his cheeks deepening "Hey... I've.... I've never been in love with anyone before.... y-you're the first.... so.... I'm not really sure how I'm meant to behave... I mean... I care about you.... but I'm no good at all that romantic stuff. So... uh.... if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable.... tell me okay?" he averted his eyes, posture stiff and motions flustered, clearly rather embarrassed by the whole topic. It had taken him forever to even realise what he was feeling was love and then to confess to Hinata. Now he was in unfamiliar territory, feeling like a fish that had jumped out of the sea and ended up in a boat with no clue how to adapt to his surroundings. Hinata found that vulnerable side of the setter truly adorable and reached to gently take his hand, "First you have to relax and breathe... I'm new to this too, so you're not alone. Perhaps we should ask someone what we're meant to do?". Kageyama reddened and shook his head vigorously "No way.... I'd die. Also if that bastard Tsukishima found out, he'd never let me hear the end of it", "Then maybe magazines?" , "Maybe...." Kageyama rubbed his chin, he wasn't really familiar with those types of girly magazines. He read very little to be honest. School textbooks aside, his only leisurely reading material were a couple of shonen manga titles about sports and instructional books about improving ones techniques in volleyball. None the less he was willing to try anything that might make this whole process a little clearer in his head. 

A short-while later they were at Ukai's store and after an enthusiastic welcome-back greeting from the coach, the boys were left to their devices to browse. Hinata's mission was to keep Ukai distracted with discussion whilst Kageyama got the magazines. But this couldn't have been a worse set up if they tried because honestly Kageyama hadn't the first clue what he was supposed to be buying. All the magazines looked the same. They were all pink and girly and had pictures of supposedly good-looking male celebrities on the cover. Many of them proclaimed to have the best dieting and beauty tips and secrets for baby smooth skin or whatever. He just hesitated looking utterly lost, hand wavering between the options unable to decide which one to get. Eventually he sighed and dropped his hand. It wasn't like he could actually go to the counter and pay for any of these damn things anyway. Ukai would just look at him like he was some sort of perverted lunatic, wanting to buy girl's magazines and then he'd just die on the spot. Turning red from ear to ear, he just stormed up to the counter and grabbed Hinata's arm "We're leaving..." , "But what about..." , "We're not getting them..." he responded, and tugged the smaller boy protesting out of the store. Hinata looked at Kageyama standing outside, bangs covering his eyes, face bright red and he couldn't help but snicker softly "You couldn't buy them because you were too embarrassed?" he guessed correctly. Kageyama growled in irritation but nodded stiffly "They were all pink and confusing. I don't understand things like that at all" he admitted, the luminous glow of his face receding a little, but still looking down awkwardly "Well then, the only other option is to ask someone. But if you don't want Karasuno finding out about it, it's going to have to be someone else. But who do you know who's really knowledgeable about dating?"

The realisation struck the pair of them like a thunderbolt. A visual image of a certain insufferable Aoba Johsai setter popping into their minds, striking a pose with a wink and selfie-worthy dazzling smile. Oikawa. Kageyama shook his head violently again "No way. No how. I will throw myself off Tokyo Tower before I ever ask him dating tips" , "But he's the only logical option Kageyama. Just look at how popular he is with the ladies! He must know so much about romance and dating!" , "Can't we just ask your Mom or someone? Anyone would be better than damn Oikawa" , "Mom's idea of dating was never particularly conventional. And I can't ask her anyway. It's embarrassing for a son to ask his Mom how to date!" , "Well it's embarrassing for me to ask Oikawa!" , "Because he's your former Team 'Mom'?" Hinata couldn't help but throw that little taunt in. Kageyama glowered at him "Shut up! That's not the reason! It's because his personality is so shitty. I've honestly no clue how women keep falling for him" , "Well obviously he's doing something right then!". Kageyama sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. As much as he hated it, Hinata had a point. Oikawa was literally the only person he knew with any sort of romantic expertise. But having any sort of conversation with his upper-classman was equivalent to flossing his teeth with barbed wire. This would be so much more painful than even that. But it was for Hinata. He had promised he would go through hell alongside the boy to make him happy and feel alive again. He just hadn't imagined it was going to be literally!

That night after much procrastination on the matter he tried to call his former team-mate. He had to ask around for the brunette's number, making excuses that he needed it for some school project or something lame like that. Anything to stop people asking questions. After going through a couple of people he finally got hold of Iwaizumi who grudgingly passed him the setter's number, though he had clearly not been convinced by Kageyama's bullshit excuses and had gruffly warned him not to provoke Oikawa because he was still in a bad way following Karasuno's defeat of their team and crushing of their dreams to advance to nationals. He had agreed saying he only had to ask him a few questions and then had hung up and dialled the number, fingers shaking and swallowing hard, trying to suppress the feeling of impending doom rising from the pit of his stomach. After a few rings an almost synthetically perky sounding voice greeted "Moshi moshi Oikawa-desu! Superstar setter at your service..." though anyone who had known Oikawa long enough could tell that he was putting on the cheer entirely. And he didn't sound anywhere near as confident as he'd previously done. Kageyama swallowed hard. Well this was horrible already and he hadn't even spoken yet. He knew this had been a horrible idea. He had no right to be asking Oikawa frivolous questions like this when they were enemies on the court. He sighed softly and moved to hang up the phone when the voice asked "Tobio-chan is that you?". He froze. The other setter could tell it was him just from the sound of his sigh? Was this a setter thing? Suga seemed almost psychic at times too. But he himself had never noticed things like that. Except sometimes about Hinata. He exhaled again and replied quietly "Yes..." , "It must be a real emergency if you're calling me. Did someone die over there? I heard something from Sawamura about your orange midget being in an accident. Don't tell me he passed on?" he was surprised to hear the note of genuine worry in the other male's voice even if he was insulting Hinata calling him an 'orange midget', in his own annoying trash Shittykawa way he cared. 

Kageyama sighed again "No... he... he was in an accident but he's better now" he found himself replying honestly, wondering why he felt the need to reply so frankly. He could just tell Oikawa to mind his own business. But the vain idiot was being halfway decent for once so he supposed he ought to at least remain moderately respectful "Ah. Well that's good. The kid has talent for a munchkin. Plus I wouldn't want to have to admit defeat only to have the victors perish straight after" awkward chuckling followed. Clearly Oikawa didn't enjoy admitting his loss. It sounded like every syllable hurt his pride. "He... he didn't get off scot-free... he's lost a lot of mobility.... they don't think he'll play volleyball again" Kageyama found himself saying, again wondering WHY he was telling so much to his former team-mate. They'd never been friends. Oikawa had even tried to attack him once out of pure rage and jealousy. So why did he feel like he needed to be honest with him? Was it just the way Oikawa could be? He had seen on the court, he knew how to communicate perfectly with his team to maximise efficiency, and with the exception of a bit of roughness from Iwaizumi, they all seemed to respect Oikawa. He remembered when he'd been on Kitagawa he'd respected him too. As an upper-classman and a leader. Something that no matter how ridiculous and irritating he chose to behave, couldn't be erased. That same demand for respect applied to Daichi too. Some sort of Captain's spirit? But Oikawa was no longer his captain or even his team-mate. So why did he still feel like he could trust him? In spite of the part of him that screamed the opposite about what an asshole he was.

"That's... that's too bad. Injuries happen but when they destroy careers.... that's when it's truly tragic... I think I understand a little how he probably feels right now. That frustration of being shut down before you achieve the goal you were straining for... it's hard" the voice on the other end of the phone seemed to tremble a little, going silent for some minutes before continuing in that previous forced bright tone "Anyway, I'm sure you didn't call just to tell me this, so what can your Wise and Venerable Senpai help you with? It must be something serious if your Karasuno team-mates can't help you...". The awkwardness returned full force and Kageyama felt his brow and palms break out in a cold sweat. How exactly was he meant to ask this guy casually for dating tips? Typically one didn't call up their former enemies and ask them these sorts of things. Oikawa continued without his response "Lets see, it can't be volleyball related because your chibi is unable to play and besides assuming you could get past your pride, you would ask your team-mates stuff like that. And it can't be study related because Sawamura told me you're doing better grades wise..." Kageyama stiffened at that. Daichi regularly chatted about his studies and grades to Oikawa???! He knew the guys joked about him and Suga being the team parents but really? Really? What was this Parents Association? Did Suga have a stash of embarrassing baby pictures he broke out with other teams? God he hoped not... 

"Mm Tobio-chan you're going to have to answer at some point you know... I may be equipped with god-given beauty and intelligence but I am alas not a mind-reader. I'm guessing it's something super awkward and embarrassing, and it's cute that you're being all shy about it, but I do have to study for my final exams you know. Especially now that I won't be getting any scholarships to prestigious college teams. I have to rely on my other bountiful skills to make something of my life" Oikawa prompted him, and for a split second Kageyama found himself feeling weirdly sorry for the other. He wouldn't tell him as such because he knew that would piss the setter off. To be pitied by the guy who had beaten him. It was equivalent to looking down on him. He sighed softly "It doesn't matter.... Sorry I interrupted your studies... I'll work it out for myself" he responded quietly. He just couldn't bring himself to be that disrespectful to even Oikawa by treating him like a free romance hotline. He was a person too. A shitty trashy person at times, granted. But still a person.

"This is about the chibi isn't it? Did you finally ask him out?" Oikawa interrupted his apologies and Kageyama froze feeling the blood in his veins turn to ice. Oikawa knew? Fucking Oikawa had guessed he liked Hinata before even he had? God! Was he literally the slowest person on the planet or something? This was ridiculous! He literally couldn't form words right now he was so shocked and he heard Oikawa give that soft chuckle again "I knew it. You did didn't you? It was about time. The amount of goo-goo eyes you made at each other during our matches were bordering on obscene. I'm half inclined to blame our loss on being distracted by how creepy that was to watch" Oikawa was being his shitty self as usual now and that seemed to snap Kageyama out of his frozen horror enough to reply "We were NOT making goo-goo eyes!" , "Oh please! Suga and I had a bet pool running to how long it would take you two to actually start making out with each other" Oikawa laughed, seeming to have found comfort in the ability to toy with and annoy his cute former-team-mate. Kageyama face-palmed with a loud slap "I'm not having this conversation right now. It was a mistake to call. Goodnight Oikawa!" , "Oh! But don't you want to know all my great romantic expertise? I have to give the chibi props for managing to put you up to this. It's probably the most hysterically funny thing I've heard in a long while. I can't wait to tell the others that the King of the Court has finally fallen in love!" , "Don't you dare! You demon!" , "Then don't hang up and listen to your Senpai and I won't tell them..." Oikawa cunning as a fox openly blackmailed him. Kageyama sighed even more deeply sounding as if he was in physical pain. Oikawa literally was the biggest annoyance in the world. "Okay fine..." he groused "I'm listening..."


	13. Adventures in Romance Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama prepares for his date with Hinata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slowness to update recently, I've been really super sick for the past 4 days and just curled up in bed coughing my insides out and feeling like death -_- I hate Winter.
> 
> Have a super fluffy chapter to compensate. Kageyama is at his most blueberry and squeeworthy here <3
> 
> Next chapter - the date continues!

After an arduous and exhausting conversation with Oikawa about the basics of romance and dating, the next step came into play. Deciding on a place to go. He tried to compile what he knew about Hinata from discussing him with Natsu and his mother (as discretely as he possibly could so that Hinata wouldn't clue in what he was plotting). Natsu had said Hinata was very into sports and active pursuits which Kageyama already knew, however there wasn't much he could do in his current state that wasn't going to physically exhaust him. Besides it wasn't really the season for sports. The weather was really cold right now. So that put that out of the window. Next was food. Hinata was a voracious eater and he himself could pack away a sizeable portion of food. But Kageyama didn't exactly have a lot of money these days. Since his parents had lost interest in him, they'd stopped bothering to give him an allowance at all, so he often had to do odd jobs to earn money if he needed more school books or rely on club funds for sports equipment. That meant a fancy restaurant was out of the picture. And he'd feel way too self-conscious making that much of an effort anyway. The temperamental setter could be surprisingly shy at times. Though if anyone had ever ventured that fact to Hinata he would have undoubtedly disbelieved them and gone on to point out all the ways Kageyama was blunt and insensitive. As if it were totally impossible to be both. Hinata didn't realise that Kageyama was often blunt BECAUSE he felt shy and uncertain and didn't really have that social knowledge that everyone else did. He tended to speak his thoughts impulsively and then only realise later that they could be hurtful.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to corral his thoughts back to the topic at hand. Date ideas. Even with Oikawa's assistance and tutelage he still felt hopelessly out of his league. Maybe a movie? Movie theatres were dark and secluded. Nobody could see them there. Not that he was plotting on doing anything that needed to be hidden exactly. But what sort of film could they watch? Natsu had said Hinata liked action movies, especially those with ridiculous amounts of explosions and special effects. Kageyama himself preferred creepy suspense-horror type films (The Great Demon Lord Kageyama had his reputation for evil to take care of, after all). Maybe they could choose something that covered both those genres? That was something to think about at any rate. Then maybe they could eat somewhere cheap after. Natsu said Hinata would pretty much demolish any kind of food put in front of him, but that he was especially fond of sweets. That worked for Kageyama, he was fond of confectionery himself. Perhaps a decent café on the main shopping strip? 

With the location settled on, the next step was to plan out the details. Clothes? He didn't want to look too obvious like he'd put too much effort in. Oikawa had lectured him about beauty tips for a good long time, but since he wasn't trying to impress fickle women and Hinata had the fashion-sense of a blind clown, he was sure it wouldn't make a lot of difference and only look weird if he tried to look too good. Travel? The public bus should suffice for that means. Then it only remained to set a time and a meeting point. He would discuss that with Hinata at school tomorrow. Lying back in bed he let a small smile cross his lips, a little blush rising to one cheek. This would be fun. And it had been a long time since he'd ever done anything just for fun.

The next morning he rose and showered, brushing his teeth and changing for school and checked his bag ensuring he had all the textbooks necessary so that he could study with Hinata at lunch and help bring the small boy up to speed. Hinata had been adamant about returning to school as soon as possible and not sitting at home moping. He said if he couldn't play with the team he wanted at least to be with them in spirit watching them fight and train hard. Kageyama felt that was unnecessarily torturing himself, when he would obviously want to join in and not be able to. But Hinata said that he had to face these hard things and learn that his actions had consequences or he would never progress. Already the orange-haired boy was changing and growing and Kageyama was marvelling at how someone he had written off at the beginning as an immature idiot, was so determined now to be strong. 

First and second period passed in a blur, and now finally they were in the library at lunch, Yachi-san and Yamaguchi having joined them along with the dour-faced Tsukishima for a little impromptu study group. Kageyama bided his time, waiting until the lanky middle-blocker and his shy freckled friend had gone to eat, then Yachi politely excused herself and finally it was just him and Hinata. He could breathe now without the megane smirking at him, and giving him the probing side-eye like he was trying to provoke him. Damn that skinny blonde tree. Clearing his throat awkwardly to get Hinata's attention he commented "Oi... w-what are you doing tonight?". Hinata blinked up at him his large amber eyes focused intently on the setter's face which made him sweat and blush more, getting stiffer and more awkward "Nothing much. More studying I guess? Why?" Hinata asked, and Kageyama swallowed the lump in his throat "C-Can you meet me outside Sakanoshita... around 5.30?" Kageyama asked, mouth dry and palms sweaty. Hinata tilted his head "Ukai's store? I guess so... for what reason though?" , Kageyama grit his teeth "Just do it okay" he growled, his awkwardness making him snappy. Hinata snapped a mock salute "Yes your Majesty!" and a vein stood out on Kageyama's forehead coaxing himself with desperation to calm down and not ruin matters by getting angry. He averted his gaze down at his books "Wear something clean and presentable okay?" he muttered which made Hinata tilt his head again "Now you're my mother? You're being weird Tobio!". Kageyama exhaled, fist clenched under the table and told himself that if he killed Hinata before they even went on their date it wouldn't be much fun.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by and they went their separate ways after club activities had wrapped up. Kageyama went home. He'd showered that morning but he took another one just in case because he had practised and he didn't want to stink of sweat. He stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He'd never really cared much about his appearance before now, but Oikawa's words floated in the back of his mind. "Making a good impression is vitally important to ramp up the romance, Tobio-chan! If you've got it, then you've got to flaunt it! You've got to make them want it!" he could hear his ex-senpai saying "But Hinata already knows me" he sighed at his reflection "Is making myself look fancy and stupid going to change anything?". None the less he at least made the effort to brush his teeth and comb his hair, playing momentarily with different partings out of curiosity. No no no no. He just looked like a dork. Or a waiter. Neither of those were options he relished. Just the regular look would do. He borrowed a little bit of his father's cologne hoping Kageyama Snr wouldn't miss it. It was a pleasant smell, not too overpowering. Nice and fresh and citrus-scented. That part done he went to his room to get dressed. He'd already laid out some clothes. A simple black polo shirt, similar to his volleyball uniform shirt but a little closer fitting and without the orange details or numbers on it, well-cut dark jeans and casual but clean and presentable shoes. He examined his appearance critically. This was so dumb. Hinata wasn't going to care at all. He threw on top the nicest least dorky-looking blazer he owned and decided that, that would have to be good enough. Now he had to get his heart down out of his throat like a scared cat up in a tree and get his ass to the meeting point! The latter proved much easier than the former!

Of course he was the first to arrive and felt subconscious standing around like an idiot, hands in his pockets. Then it dawned on him that of course Hinata would be slower with his crutch and mobility issues. "Idiot!" he berated himself angrily. He should have arranged to meet him at his house. He was just about to start heading in that direction when he heard the awkward shuffling thumping sound of someone with a limp approaching. He looked up to see Hinata had finally made it, the boy looking out of breath already which made Kageyama further berate himself. Ukai's shop was halfway up a damn hill. Was he TRYING to kill his boyfriend before the date had even taken place? He hurried over, anxiety shining in his blue eyes "Shoyou! A-are you alright? I'm sorry... I should have come and met you at your place... " he apologised. The amber eyes of the boy turned to look at him with a smile "Yes you should have... but it's okay. I'm here now. I won't need any physio tomorrow though following this exercise!" he laughed, before taking a better look at the setter under the street light. Whoa. He was dressed up really nice! And he smelled so good! His mouth just sort of hung open staring at the setter until Kageyama turned scarlet and mumbled "You don't have to gawk at me like that... I just... I wanted to make an effort.... for you...". Hinata closed his mouth and smiled instead, eyes crinkling with the intensity of the beam on his face "You're so adorable" he told him sincerely, which made the setter more flustered and awkward. "I'm guessing this is a date then? You were kinda vague about it at lunchtime. But wow. That call to Oikawa really paid off, huh? You look incredible" he told him blushing himself, and then Kageyama was just a mess of redness and stuttered attempts at speech. Hinata reached for his hand with his free one "Come here idiot" linking their fingers as they began to walk to the bus stop.


	14. Adventures in Romance III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama and Hinata's date continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who wants to see the boy's date outfits? I put some cute things together for each of them :) Okay here goes...  
>  
> 
> [ Kageyama's Outfit](http://oi68.tinypic.com/2nw24xl.jpg)  
> [ Hinata's Outfit](http://oi63.tinypic.com/1qjofl.jpg)  
>  
> 
> Kageyama's is a touch fancier because he knew ahead that it was going to be a date, whereas Hinata wasn't told much except to show up clean and presentable, and this is as close as he gets to that!

The whole way on the bus to the movie theatre Kageyama was a bundle of nerves, he couldn't help but keep thinking of things that might go wrong and spoil their date, a lifetime of disappointments had kinda left him as a bit of a pessimist in general. Hinata however was on Cloud 9 and happily held the other boy's hand not even seeming to care if anyone else saw them. Their enthusiasm and affection got the attention of a couple of old ladies on the bus, who cooed at how cute both boys were, though they were probably estimating Hinata to be an elementary-schooler thanks to his height and Kageyama his older brother or cousin taking him out to be kind. Kageyama blushed at the hand-holding but neither did he try to resist it or complain about it. In fact it was rather comforting having this reassuring connection with the other boy. This silent affirmation that everything would turn out alright and his fears were misplaced.

By the time they arrived Kageyama had calmed down enough to stand independently from Hinata having decided not to push their luck holding hands because same-sex relationships in Japan were still something of a taboo topic and they couldn't risk the chance that someone wouldn't be fooled into thinking their height difference meant an age difference. Worse someone might think he was some sort of sick person with a fetish for children. So he stood near to Hinata but didn't hold his hand. Though his fingers were still tingling from the warmth of the small hand that had so recently made contact. 

They entered the theatre and he told Hinata to pick out some snacks, stressing to him clearly and in a no nonsense tone "Don't go overboard okay. I'm not made of money. You can have 1 pack of sweets and 1 drink. We'll share popcorn. Besides you don't want to spoil your appetite for later". Hinata's face lit up really seeming like a kid in that moment "What's happening later?" he asked brightly, looking excited "You'll have to wait and see" Kageyama told him with a smile as the other boy rushed off to choose movie snacks. Kageyama just went with a sports drink. He wasn't particularly keen on soda and juice had a tendency to make him nauseous if his stomach was already unsettled with nerves. That was the same reason he wasn't choosing his normal beloved milk. Milk on a shaky stomach was overall a bad idea. When Hinata returned with a box of Pocky and a hyper sugary drink with a cute animal character on it, he groaned a little and rolled his eyes. Because of course Hinata needed more sugar to make him extra hyper... he just hoped he behaved himself! Ugh! He caught his thoughts and shook his head at himself. He was going on a damn date with his boyfriend. Not a mother taking their kid out on a day-trip. Hinata was 16 years old, he was more than old enough to take care of himself. In fact he was Kageyama's senior by a clear 6 months. He'd always found it weird that both of them were born on solstice days, like fate had intended for them to meet. Like Hinata was his soul-mate or something. The thought made him smile softly to himself with a blush until Hinata poked him in the side "Tooooooooooobiooooooooooo c'mon! We're going to miss the movie if you dawdle" , "No we won't. It's only the trailers" , "The trailers are the BEST PART though!". He sighed and let his 16 going on 6 boyfriend frog-march them into the movie theatre. They found their seats, carefully lined up, so they would be far enough forward for Hinata's view not the be obstructed by taller people, and also far enough from the entrances that if anyone they knew came in, it wouldn't be so obvious that they were here on a date. Although at this point and judging by Oikawa's comments about a bet pool, he could guess most people already knew about them liking each other. But there was a difference between speculation and confirmation, and Kageyama definitely wasn't going to do anything that openly outed himself.

The movie was alright as far as these things went. They'd settled on a somewhat cheesy spoof sci-fi action/horror featuring aliens who invaded the bodies of sweet elderly old women tourists who then planted bombs in all the monuments of the world and threatened to detonate them if their demands were not met. They also killed people by stabbing them brutally to death with their knitting needles and feeding them to their cute little lap kittens (who were also flesh-eating aliens). Honestly Kageyama couldn't have found a weirder film if he'd tried. But Hinata had absolutely LOVED it and kept gushing about how awesome it was as they exited the dark cinema, They'd had a nice opportunity in the dark for a little bit of hand-holding and Kageyama was wearing that blush again, staring distractedly at his hand as they exited the theatre, the feeling of contact like a buzz going through his mind.

They headed from the movie theatre into the connecting mall and after allowing Hinata to browse the shops a little bit, they headed into the elevators at the far end of the mall. Hinata was curious watching Kageyama press buttons. They were going up? What was up? There was a car-park on the basement level and 3 levels of shops. But Kageyama had punched the button for the 4th floor and Hinata tilted his head amber eyes wide with curiosity to discover what the setter had in mind. The elevator stopped with a ding and the doors opened to what looked like a large conservatory garden. A glass dome overhead kept the winter cold out and careful temperature controls kept the plants thriving. Kageyama swallowed nervously as he stepped out. Oikawa had recommended this place as a guaranteed killing move that would ensure his date fell head over heels for him. He just hoped it wasn't too expensive! He'd scrimped together as much money as he could possibly get and even sold a few of his old collectable shonen mangas to get money for this part. And Hinata's expression was making it worthwhile. The small redhead's eyes were saucer wide and he was breathing in a quick and excited manner like he'd just seen something incredible and awe-inspiring "T-T-Tobio... what is this place?" , "It's a café that Oikawa recommended. He said it's very trendy", "A-Are you s-sure it's okay for us to be here? It looks so f-fancy!" Hinata seemed nervous, wanting to reach out and touch the flowers but not daring to. He was so cute that a blush sprung to the setter's cheeks and he became shy and awkward himself nodding in response "I g-guess so. If they serve a trashy idiot like Oikawa they'll serve us". But in spite of his harsh words, he was inwardly thinking 'Thank you Oikawa-senpai! Thank you so much!' because Hinata looked so fucking happy! He'd really really done something right with this. And the knowledge filled his heart and head with happiness, he had a full-fledged idiot grin spread across his face as he walked with Hinata to find a seat, choosing one near a nice display of flowers and a small pond of koi carp. Really this place was so fancy! He was just hoping and praying he had enough money for this!

When they were seated a pretty young girl in a traditional maid's outfit came over to give them some menus and ask them if they wanted any drinks. Kageyama struggled to speak, stammering nervously, trying to think refined. He couldn't say milk. Milk was what babies drank. Maybe it was good for his bones and that made it okay to drink at school or for sports, but not here. "Ahh ahh umm... t-tea please... milk tea..." , "Of course sir. What leaf would you prefer?" the maid-waitress smiled at him. Kageyama blinked. Leaf? Oh no. He had no clue about different tea leaves. He very rarely drank tea except for green tea sometimes when he needed an energy boost. Seeing his lost expression the woman smiled kindly "I highly recommend a mild black tea if you want to pair it with milk sir. Perhaps an Indian Assam or English Darjeeling. Though Darjeeling is better without milk, many of our customers say..." , "Ahh? Oh... um... alright... wh-whatever you think goes best...." Kageyama responded embarrassedly, feeling like he'd entered a school history lesson about the origin of tea leaves and their correct usage. "And you sir?" the maid-waitress turned to Hinata next "Do you have any cocoa?" Hinata asked innocently and Kageyama almost face-palmed. Well that was a typical Hinata response. So unrefined. But he loved his confidence in asking for what he wanted without worrying about matters like appearances. The maid-waitress adopted that expression that most people did around Hinata. The one that said they thought they were addressing a kid and she smiled wide for him "Certainly! We have a variety of flavours too. If you check this page you'll see all the combinations available" she leaned over to point out the menu to him, her breasts close to the boy which made Kageyama stiffen in a weirdly possessive sense of jealousy. HIS Shouyou. Not for girls! Thankfully Hinata was 100% oblivious to the girl's chest and just checked out the flavours happily, pointing out the ones he wanted "Umm... cherry and banana... mixed together. And lots of cream on top. And marshmallows. And sprinkles!" he grinned, and Kageyama rolled his eyes a little, enjoying the bemused expression the maid-waitress made "Alright. We'll be sure to make that up for you" she smiled finally, leaving them with the dessert menu to make any further choices. Kageyama chuckled a little and reached across to flick the smaller boy's forehead lightly "Dork" he told him, but with a smile. Hinata always managed to make him smile and relax however stressed out he was. It was how he had first fallen in love with him. Because he'd been trapped in the nightmare of his past, and Hinata had been the one to tell him that it was okay to move on from there and be happy and that he didn't have to suffer or be afraid anymore. 

He moved a section of orange hair and leaned to whisper in a low voice "I'm not sure what desserts they have available on this menu, but I'm quite sure not one of them will be as sweet and appetising as you are right now...". This was a bold move for Kageyama who wasn't practised in such smooth talking or pick-up lines. But somehow Hinata just brought it out of him naturally and he always found the words leaving his lips before he'd even realised it. Hinata blushed deeply and buried his face in his menu "Behave yourself Bakageyama..." he mumbled softly, though his heart was throbbing like a drum in his chest and he felt himself falling more and more in love with the setter as each moment passed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Date continues next chapter!


	15. Awkward Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date ends a little hotter than Kageyama intended but he is left unsatisfied none the less and must deal with his passion alone. Hinata plots to pay back his dues.
> 
> Slight NSFW for shower-masturbation (not too graphic)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Kags lol. Ending up with some 'hard-feelings' from Hinata ohohoho. I'm dreadful to this poor child, really!
> 
> Next chapter: Hinata plans his payback and more sexy-timez. Yay!

After some very sugary drinks and very rich desserts, on top of all the high sugar movie theatre snacks Hinata was just a little bit high off the sugar intake. And it manifested in him being a little bit 'drunk', though he'd not ingested anything remotely alcoholic. Natsu had mentioned it wasn't a great idea to load her brother up on sugar and now Kageyama wished he had paid closer attention. He'd just about managed to foot the bill at the café, though it had cleared out his wallet of everything except the bus fare to get home again. He was going to be very broke for the rest of the month! Guiding Hinata's giggling hiccuping form out of the shopping mall he sighed a little "Stand up straight idiot, hold your crutch properly.... look you're going to fall over" he berated his date a little, finding Hinata adorable as always, but frustrating nonetheless. Hinata giggled more and saluted slurring "Yeshh your Majesshhhtitty" and covering his mouth with his hand as he sniggered even more "Honestly... are you 5 years old? Who gets drunk off sugar? I swear you're not normal...." Kageyama sighed "Neither... are you... Toooo-biii-oooo" Hinata replied in sing-song and almost tripped over his own feet. "Well of course I'm not, or I wouldn't be seen with an idiot like you" Kageyama responded as he lifted Hinata bodily by the back of his jacket and dumped him on a nearby bench to sit. 

The words had been meant playfully to tease his boyfriend, but nonetheless Hinata huffed out his breath "I'm not an idiot! YOU'RE an idiot! Bakageyama!" , "Hinataho" , "King of the Stupid Heads" , "Silly little twerp" , "Scary Face Demon" , "Orange-headed Fraggle" , "What's a Fraggle?" Hinata tilted his head out of insults for the moment. Kageyama shrugged "Takeda-sensei told me about them once I think. Some kids show with little fluffy gremlin things that live underground". Hinata gasped and attempted to punch Kageyama's arm "Rude! I'm not a gremlin!" Kageyama wrestled him onto his back on the bench and grinned at him "Stop being a cute idiot, or I'll kiss you" , "You wouldn't dare!" , "Is that a challenge?" Kageyama leaned down pinning Hinata's struggling flapping form and stole his lips for a moment, glad that the streets were pretty empty at this time of night. He could afford to be a little bolder when there were less observers. Hinata's face flushed red and he stopped struggling, becoming instantly quieter "Do you feel like behaving now?" Kageyama asked him more soberly and the boy nodded, wetting his lips and murmuring "Kiss me again" , "The bus will be here soon..." Kageyama remarked "I don't care... Kiss me" Hinata demanded, his amber eyes alert now and blazing with a fire of passion for the setter. The look turned Kageyama on so much that he couldn't possibly deny the blocker/spiker's will and he lowered his head again to kiss those parted searching lips, hands moving to pull the smaller boy's form closer to him, with a fierce need.

By the time the bus pulled up less than 10 minutes later, both boys were breathless and dishevelled and wearing twin ruby-red blushes as they paid their fares went straight to the back and tried to compose themselves. Obviously the time and place was wrong for full make-out sessions but they'd demonstrated they were both more than willing to engage in one. Hinata coming down off his sugar high finally, leaned against Kageyama the whole ride back, sleepily and he was so out of it by the time they reached the stop that the setter ended up picking him up crutch and all and giving him a piggyback back down the hill to his home. He was really tempted to just take Hinata back to his place and have his way with him because fuck he was riled up right now and it was hard to hide the obvious arousal going on in his jeans, but at the same time he wouldn't ever take advantage of Hinata. And the boy was practically asleep at this point so he couldn't consent to naughty business. So as much as it pained Kageyama to be blue-balled after such a great evening, he was going to have to endure for Hinata's sake. He took the boy home to his mother instead (obviously after hiding his boner). Hinata's mother cooed at seeing Kageyama in his outfit even if he looked tired and worn out and no longer as pristine as he'd first appeared to be. She tried to invite him to stay over, not wanting the poor boy to go home to an empty cold dark house and be alone, but Kageyama politely declined, thanking her for her kindness. He couldn't share a house with Hinata in his current state of mind. It would be pure torture knowing he was so close and yet unable to touch him.

When he got back home he went straight to the bathroom and had a very long shower to try and deal with his raging hard-on and feelings. He pictured Hinata's passionate eyes and soft lips, his little body yearning for his touch, and he moaned as his hand massaged the shaft of his cock . Next time he promised himself he was going to ensure they went somewhere they could properly take care of business like this! The trouble was just that Hinata was so fragile still, he didn't want to crush him or hurt him by being rough with him. Yet he couldn't resist him either. It was torture trying to hold his feelings in check, trying to be responsible when he wanted to just grab the tiny little bastard, fling him on a bed and slam him like a volleyball in a setter dump. He realised he was getting a bit aggressive and finished up washing before he ended up doing himself some harm in his stressed state and then headed to bed, flopping back on the mattress arms wide and nude, not even bothering to put clothes on. Why bother? His parents weren't home. They were never home. He should have just brought Hinata here. Maybe he would have woken up eventually and they could have done something then? Arghh no. Bad Tobio. Stop thinking with your dick. Slinging one arm across his hot flushed miserable face he sighed and muttered "Oikawa you bastard, all you succeeded in doing, is getting me wound up"

He didn't sleep well that night and ended up having several erotic dreams involving a certain tiny red-haired middle blocker, so that by the morning he was hard again and had to go calm himself down once more. 'Get a grip on yourself' he berated his reflection 'And not in the literal sense' he added with a groan at his own unintended pun, he didn't look great, he had dark circles under his eyes and his hair had gone all bed-head the usual poker straight lengths having become mussed up from fevered sex-dream movements. Pulling a comb through it only helped minorly to improve his appearance and he decided he'd probably used up all his cool and sexy points in his attempts yesterday. His body was rebelling today by trying to make him as dorky looking as possible as punishment. Once he was finally dressed he headed to meet Hinata to head to school. But that was where things started to go down hill. Normally just greeting the boy wasn't a problem. But now he couldn't even look at him without remembering that yearning lustful face he'd been wearing last night and it was having a serious effect on his poor unsatisfied libido. As soon as Hinata opened the door, Kageyama flushed awkwardly and averted his eyes, staring fixedly at Mrs Hinata's flowerbeds, shoulders tense and hunched and hands shoved in his pockets, until his partner was done saying his goodbyes and bounced energetically out of the door, obviously well-rested unlike Kageyama and seeming none the wiser to the state the poor setter was in because of him.

He did eventually clue in that Kageyama wasn't behaving quite himself however and tilted his head asking innocently "What's up Tobio? Are you feeling sick again? You shouldn't go to school if you're feeling bad... ". Kageyama grit his teeth, desperately trying to coach himself to stay calm and not snap at the dense little idiot for rubbing salt into the wound. "I'm not sick, dumbass. I didn't sleep well" , "Oh? How come? Were you studying?". Cue massive eye-twitching and an almost Tsukishima level sarcastic response "Yes. I was studying after our date and you sitting practically on top off me half tearing my clothes off. Sure did. That was the FIRST thing I thought of doing after we made out!" he snapped. Hinata's face bloomed red with realisation "W-We kissed? I didn't r-remember that part..." , "That's because you were drunk off your ass on sugar, you idiot. You were practically begging me for it. We were just lucky it was dark and there weren't many street-lights nearby. Even the bus-driver gave us squirrel-eyes because we looked like we'd been up to no good. I had to tell him we had a fight and that's why our clothes were messed up. And then you just fell asleep and I had to take you home and I was so aroused and just... ughhh! You're impossible Shouyou, you know that? And if I didn't love you so damn much I would throttle you!" Kageyama rolled his eyes, gesturing angrily, shoulders trembling with emotion. Hinata swallowed guiltily "I'm sorry.... I didn't mean to get you ramped up for no reason. I honestly don't even remember that happening at all, except it clearly did and I believe you... but wow.... just wow....". Kageyama sighed deeply and let his arms drop limply to his sides "You're just going to have to make it up to me tonight okay. Text your Mom at lunch and tell her you're staying over at mine tonight. Tell her I'll make us dinner so she doesn't have to worry" , "O-Okay..." Hinata stuttered nervous but committed to doing it if it would help Kageyama, he really did feel bad for torturing his poor boyfriend however unintentionally it had been. He remembered how nice the date had been and how hard Kageyama had tried to please him. He deserved the same royal treatment. Especially as he was a 'King'! He would just have to see to that tonight!


	16. Passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexytimez with Kageyama and Hinata.
> 
> Descriptive sex-scenes and swearing like a sailor so NSFW!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh man this chapter was super hard to write! I'm an asexual so I don't really have the best experience of sex and explaining it was really difficult, but I'm also a rampant fujoshi so what I do know about the subject I've learned from reading/watching yaoi XD. As for how Hinata knew as much as he knew I realised that if both boys were inexperienced virgins then any sex was going to be godawful or impossible if they didn't even know what they were doing. So I donned my Super Fujoshi cape and corrupted poor Hinata's brain with the dark knowledge of BL. Mama Hinata is a naughty girl and has perverted her children :P (Btw Natsu will probably be a future fujoshi too ehehe) Now you know why she ships Kags and her son so much! XD
> 
> Aww and poor Kags crying because he's so happy about sex. This poor precious bean. Good thing Hinata gives good hugs :3

After a painful and exhausting day trying to keep his libido in check when every tiny little action or expression that Hinata did made him want to drag him into a broom-closet and rip all his clothes off, Kageyama was very very very very VERY glad when the final bell rang signalling home time. Finally. This day of torment was over. He imagined he now knew how priests and holy men felt suffering their celibacy when presented with the carnal pleasures of the flesh. The Great Demon Lord Kageyama had become enlightened and his passage to Heaven was now assured. Sloping along the road with little to no energy, he was driven only by anticipation of the reward that would await him this evening. Hinata had called his mother at lunch and set up their evening, and then parted from him at the school gates to hurry home and get cleaned up and changed before joining him over at Kageyama's house. Please by the power of the gods let him not take too long. Kageyama honestly didn't think he would live through it if he did.

Turning the key in the lock he barely made it up the stairs to his room before dropping his bag on the floor and just flopping onto his bed. He knew he would have to change out of his uniform and clean up also but gods he was so tired. He was almost willing to just go to sleep except that his private region was still fired up and berating him for slacking off. It wanted action and it wasn't going to take no for an answer! Turning himself over with a groan he pulled his clothes off, but he couldn't be bothered to get dressed again, only wrapping himself in a dressing gown. He heard Hinata's knocking downstairs and grunted, making a mental note to have a spare cut of the house key so the other boy could let himself in when these sort of scenarios arose (hopefully none to frequently!) 

Shambling downstairs he opened the door to see Hinata had showered and changed out of his school uniform, wearing his usual combination of cute-t-shirt and jeans that were probably from the kids section given the short-legs and small size. Even dressed like a dork as he was, he was still irresistibly attractive to Kageyama, who blushed anew and mumbled "You're going to be the death of me if you keep being so cute" with a soft groan. Hinata looked at him sympathetically "I'm sorry... it's my fault you're in this state Tobio... let me take care of you now..." he told him softly, guiding the other boy upstairs to his bedroom. Once there he led him to the bed and pushed the taller boy gently down onto the mattress. Kageyama sighed "Do you even know what you're doing here? You virgin..." he commented tiredly to the other boy. Hinata blushed "Shut up... you're just as much of a virgin as me..." , "Just fucking kiss me, Shouyou" Kageyama reached for the smaller boy's arm and pulled him on top of him. Hinata obeyed, putting his mouth over the setter's, kissing him deeply as the other boy's hands moved to tug insistently at his clothes, trying to separate them and get them out of the way of the flesh he wanted to access. Layer after layer of garments were pulled off. Why the fuck had Hinata put so many clothes on for a booty call? Sure it was winter outside but fucking hell, this was like a game of pass the parcel and Kageyama thought his dick would explode if this shit continued....

Finally they were both free of garments and his sore throbbing erection was visible. Hinata's eyes darted down to it, breaking the kiss to lick his lips with hunger. He would pretty much eat anything put in front of him Natsu had said, and apparently Kageyama's dick was no exception. Lowering his mouth down the setter's body with a trail of taunting kisses that made the taller boy bite his lip and groan "Fuuuuuuuuck", Hinata pounced on the throbbing member with relish, like he was back at the Nekoma and Fukurodani Training Camp. It was BBQ day and Kageyama had meat for him. Delicious meat. Opening his mouth he closed it over the trembling tip, swirling his tongue around the head, letting his bottom teeth lightly graze the sensitive underside of the setter's shaft, as his fingers massaged and moulded the brunette's balls, cupping them and playing with them as though they were stress balls, but with less pressure. Kageyama howled and collapsed backwards on the mattress, hips bucking forward with the impact of the blowjob he was receiving. How the fuck did this little brat work out how to do this? He was a virgin right? He shouldn't be this skilled! But holy shit, however he had managed it, he was doing a number on the setter, both his thighs trembling as he struggled to hold in his orgasm. It had been less than 5 minutes for fucks sake. He had to last longer than this! Maybe it was their first time but still.... Also he was pretty sure if he came now he would probably choke Hinata to death given the size of the boy and the force of the orgasm he could feel building in him. "Sh-Sh-Shou-youuuu..." he groaned "Y-You'd b-better... st-stop... I'm gonna... c-come..." he tried urgently to pull back from the small redhead. Hinata reluctantly relinquished the member with a pout "I wanted to.... taste more of you Tobio.... you taste so good..." he breathed, his mouth dripping with the pre-cum that Kageyama had already released from his sheer enjoyment of the blowjob. "Ah fuck... Shouyou... I need to... I'm gonna..." he quavered "I know I know... hang on..." the smaller boy turned himself over presenting his petite little ass to the setter "You're going to have to hold it for a minute and prep me first..." , "What the... how the f-fuck do you.... know all this? Yo-You're a virgin right...." Kageyama panted in disbelief gazing at the smaller boy's flushed and lustful face that was seriously making a mess of his senses right now. Hinata panted also "M-Mom's a.... f-fujoshi.... I should have... ex-explained.... I g-grew up... w-with her...d-dirty m-manga... all over the h-house.... D-Dad was always... b-berating her... for c-corrupting us k-kids... now f-fucking stretch my ass Kageyama... one f-finger... then two... then f-flex them". Kageyama was practically boggling at this information, but a sharp pain from his crotch reminded him there wasn't time to process it fully now. He had to act before he ended up making a mess all over the bed instead of inside his partner. 

Following Hinata's instructions, feeling like he'd strayed into some Bizarro universe where childish idiot Hinata, the kid who sang songs about going to the toilet, was actually the knowledgeable one about sex! He entered his partner with first one finger, then slid in another, barely managing to prevent himself ejaculating there and then when Hinata gave little grunts and moans of pleasure. He'd obviously never had sex before even if he'd read a lot of very dirty stuff about it. Possibly a little practise masturbation but nothing that put him too far ahead of Kageyama's own experiences. When Hinata was sufficiently prepped he entered him with his throbbing member, feeling how deliciously tight the small boy's ass was against his swollen member. Oh gods. Gods this was too good. He rode against the other boy with ecstasy, taking care not to be so rough as to hurt him when he was so small and fragile, yet thrusting with pleasure none the less, like an excited puppy straining on a leash. His face was blazing red and his eyes were closed in sheer joy, finally climaxing inside the middle blocker with a deep guttural groan of pleasure, hearing Hinata's voice intertwine with his in a high-pitched whine of mutual climax, as the smaller boy's dick ejaculated also in a sticky cascade against his fingers which had absently began to stroke and caress the smaller member. Sweat dripping down both of their brows Kageyama pulled out and they collapsed in a sticky satisfied heap, breathing hard. It was a long time before Kageyama summoned the energy to try to move. He was still breathless with incredulity. Their first time together and it had been fucking perfect. Unrealistically perfect. He paused to pinch his forearm to check he was actually awake and not having some sort of pervy sex dream again. Ow! Nope. Definitely awake. Thank fuck... 

Hinata was recovering from the pounding of a lifetime when he heard a shaky sob from behind him, twisting his head seeing his big soft stupid setter was crying, big fat tears falling from his blue eyes "What's.... w-wrong... was it.... not good for you? It was for me... painful.... but so good... " his amber eyes were anxious, rotating his sore ass with difficulty so that he was now facing the setter, reaching to touch the crying face suspended above him. Kageyama bit his lip and shook his head, sobbing between sharp intakes of breath finally managing to choke out "N-No... it was... p-p-perfect... so perfect... I'm just.... so o-overwhelmed... so ha-happy... I've never felt so.... n-n-needed..." he sniffed. Hinata's face crumpled with sympathy of the poor boy who was so accustomed to neglect and hate that even the act of lovemaking was something mind-blowing and unreal to him. "Ahh... my poor Tobio... I love you, you big idiot... come here..." he pulled the bigger boy into a hug, his arms wrapping around the broader torso, like a child hugging a giant teddy-bear, nuzzling his head against the abs of the other boy. He'd never noticed until Kageyama's clothes were off, how sexy his body was. If he had a better temperament, it was almost guaranteed he would have been a chick-magnet. But too bad girls, because he was HIS property now and he'd bite the shit out of any bitches who tried to steal him. 

When Kageyama had finally calmed down enough to stop crying, they rose gingerly, stiff and sore, and headed to the bathroom to shower, making out once more under the warm spray, unable to keep their arms off each other. Both knowing in this moment that there was no way they could ever part ways now. They were both hopelessly head over heels in love with each other.


	17. Rejection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama and Hinata's happiness is shattered when Kageyama's parents find out about them and things take a turn for the worse.
> 
> Trigger warnings - Homophobic slurs and domestic abuse/violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! Angst again! And after so much fluff. But I needed to address the situation with Kageyama's parents sooner or later and I wanted to give him an excuse to move in with the Hinatas which he wouldn't have done otherwise because he hates being a burden on people. If you hate Kageyama's parents, that's okay I do too. Dadchi is going to make them pay. Ain't nobody allowed to fuck with his baby crows.

Kageyama was the first to stir after their night of passion. The shower make-out had culminated in going back to bed together and cuddling and making out and giving sexual favours to each other pretty much all night long. They were curious young boys after all and had to satisfy their experimental desires somehow. He glanced to Hinata who had passed out finally in the least cute and graceful manner possible, legs akimbo and snoring, looking like a small orange monkey that had fallen from a tree into his bed. He had no doubt the boy was exhausted after being on the receiving end of most of their activities, although he'd given Kageyama a nice blowjob that had resulted in him moaning the smaller boys name in ecstasy. Grinning in remembrance he pulled on his robe and headed downstairs planning on maybe making them a little breakfast to share in bed. As he opened the door to the kitchen however, what he was definitely NOT expecting was to find his parents sitting at the table, home together for the first time in forever and looking at each other with a grim expression on their faces.

Trying to pull the expression of horror from his features and compose his face, Kageyama pulled his robe tighter around himself trying to seem a little more modest, standing up straighter automatically out of habit "M-Mother.... F-Father.... I w-wasn't expecting you.... when did you get back?" his blue eyes nervously grazed the two middle-aged people sitting at the table. His mother Sumire Kageyama was slender and beautiful but in a proud haughty perfectionist way, she had the same sharp tilted blue eyes as her son, dressed in professional but designer label garments, her posture composed and her raven black hair caught up in an elegant roll. It was apparent that Kageyama got his attractiveness from his mother. The man on the other side of the table, his father Hisao Kageyama, could have been Kageyama's older duplicate, but wearing his black hair shorter and slicked back professionally, an elegant suit gracing his body that was much more buff and muscular than his son's frame. His eyes were not blue but instead a steel grey like the hue of a knife blade. And they were angry. "Tobio... we need to talk" his mother was the first one to speak and gestured for him to take a seat at the table. Watching their stern glances he felt panic start to build up inside him. Why were they so angry? Had they found out about him and Hinata? Oh shit oh shit oh shit.... this was NOT good! He meekly dropped into a chair, trying not to flinch under their scrutinisation, feeling his lips go dry "I.... I can.... I can explain..." he began anxiously.

"Can you? Can you really? Lets hear it then Tobio. Lets hear the explanation you have for those disgusting noises you were making all night. Don't even try to lie to us because we looked in your room and saw you with him. It wouldn't be so bad if you had a girl over, you're still a minor, but youthful hijinks could have been forgiven. But this? Homosexuality is illegal in this country, you little idiot! How dare you commit these acts under my roof!" his father's voice rose in anger to berate his son, and Kageyama realised with horror and disgust that the voice he was hearing was essentially like his own voice whenever he yelled at people on the court or activated his 'King' mode. He was his father. Calling people 'dumbass' and 'idiot'. Having a temper that exploded at the slightest provocation. He flinched against his seat feeling suddenly very small compared with the man looming over him and his angry face. He felt how Hinata felt. Worse. He felt like a kid again. A kid who had cried because he was scared and alone and had been told time and again that 'boys didn't cry' and to 'man up'. This man had never really been his father. He had only wanted a trophy son with perfect grades, studying in the best schools, with a perfect girlfriend whom he'd settle down with and produce perfect grand-kids. He was a tool to his parents and nothing more. And he felt his heart break in his chest with the knowledge, tears beginning to spill from his eyes.

Hisao grabbed him by the front of his robe and shook him "How do you think it felt Tobio? Seeing you mess up over and over through the years. We wanted a son to be proud of! But you selfishly kept doing your own thing the whole time! And then to come home exhausted from earning money for your ungrateful useless ass, and find you committing those sorts of acts with another minor kid, who looks like he's in elementary school?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" the man was bigger than Kageyama and he was too frightened to fight back. Even his mother seemed to think perhaps her husband was going too far and pulled on his sleeve "Honey! This won't fix matters! He's obviously unwell. We should take him to a doctor or a psychiatrist or something. Maybe they could fix him?" she pleaded, acting as if Kageyama was simply a misbehaving animal that needed a trip to the vet to be neutered and remove his disgusting desires. That finally snapped something in him. He stopped crying and instead got angry, a bitter expression crossing his face "Really, Mother? You're going to pretend you care about my health now? How many times have I legitimately been unwell and you've been too busy to even care about what happened to me! You didn't even come home when I was sick. I had to try to recover on my own. You left me in pain and now because I'm finally with someone who loves me and gives a shit what happens to me, you want to take that away from me? And try and brainwash me back into being your tool again? Well I'm not going to do it! You can go and fuck yourself, you cold hearted bitch!" he snapped back at her. His father's fist connected with his jaw hard. "You DO NOT talk to my wife like that, you shitty little faggot! We've bent over backwards all these years to earn money so you can go to the best schools and you've wasted everything you've been given. You are nothing but a waste of time and effort! Get out of my house!" the man was yelling, totally incensed with rage so that even his Mother couldn't seem to reach him and calm him down.

"Fuck you, old man! I'm not leaving without Shouyou" Kageyama yelled back, trying to shove the rampaging bigger man off him as he was trying to literally drag him out of the kitchen with the intent to bodily throw him through the front door. The pair became a flurry of flailing limbs trying to land blows on each other. Kageyama fighting furiously. All the noise of course by this point had woken Hinata up and he half stumbled down the stairs, not wearing much beyond his boxers and with his crutch under his arm. He stopped dead at the top of the stairs seeing Kageyama struggling on the ground with a man who could only have been his father judging by their near identical looks. The man kept punching Kageyama about the head and shoulders yelling things like 'You disgusting freak!' and 'Filthy faggot!'. Hinata let out a deafening holler of anger that seemed far too potent to be housed in his little body and practically lunged down the stairs, forgetting his crutch in his urgency to move, leaping on the back of the bigger man with the savagery of a tiger screaming "GET OFF HIM! GET OFF HIM NOW!" as his little fists banged on the other man's back. Kageyama used the moment of respite to kick his father in the crotch with both his feet which caused the man to fall. He reached to pull Hinata by the wrist to safety and held him protectively close not wanting the smaller boy to get hurt. He was a mess, beaten half to a pulp by the bigger man's aggressive strikes blood running from his nose and mouth and no doubt going to be bruised horribly within a few hours. But he didn't seem to care about his own pain. He just wanted to protect Hinata. Kageyama's mother leaned over her husband who had hit his head on the stairs going down in combination with probably putting his back out with the force of the kick. He wasn't getting up again any time soon. Looking at her bloodied son, trembling with held back anger she spat "Are you satisfied now? You've destroyed this family! Get out of this house and take that little piece of trash with you" her words rose in pitch and volume to an almost hysterical screeching, reaching for anything she could lay her hands on to throw at the two boys. China ornaments smashing around them. Kageyama moved to shield Hinata so he couldn't get hit, the china smashing against his bare back and cutting it painfully. He waited until his mother ran out of ammo, then rose on shaking legs, turning to look at her with fury etched on his features "Hurt me if you have to, call me names. But don't EVER hurt or say bad things about Shouyou. And we're leaving you stupid bitch" he yelled, grabbing his and Hinata's coats from the hallway rack and shrugging them on. He was thankful Hinata had chosen to wear so many layers this time. That meant at least he had a big overcoat to cover his modesty. Kageyama had grabbed a winter trench-coat. He wasn't sure if it was his or his father's but at this point he didn't care. He didn't even want to stay here a second longer, pulling Hinata by the wrist he dragged him out through the front door and away from what had been his home for 16 years. He didn't look back for a second.

It wasn't until they were limping down the road like victims of some horrible holocaust, half-dressed barefoot and without Hinata's crutch which he'd left behind that Kageyama let his emotions show. The tears began to roll down his cheeks, feeling the throbbing pain around his face and shoulders and the shock that blurred his vision. They barely made it halfway down the hill to Ukai's store before collapsing out front exhausted. Ukai saw them and flipped the fuck out, running out of the store in shock asking Hinata "What happened? Why are you guys half naked? Why's Kageyama bleeding?". The smaller boy just started to sob, he'd been so scared for Kageyama's sake and he felt how much pain the setter was in, rejected by his family. Never able to go home again. He just started to cry and cry, holding onto his setter who had passed out by this point. Ukai couldn't get any sense out of either of them so he called Daichi who lived nearby, knowing that the boy's captain would know what to do. When the black-haired 'team dad' arrived he took one look at them and his face got really grim and angry, getting that blazing vengeful look in his eyes that said whoever had fucked with his crows was going to regret it till their dying day. "Lets get them inside and I'll call Hinata's mother" he told Ukai, moving to lift Kageyama, leaving the smaller boy to their coach. They would get to the bottom of this shit and then he would see to it that this shit was dealt with. Someone had just made a very grave mistake!


	18. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama's healing progress following the attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter today folks. I wrote a longer one but then my stupid computer decided to crash before I could save it, and I just didn't have the energy to rewrite the whole thing.
> 
> Kags is slowly recovering from his injuries but the poor thing has his share of physical and mental scars. Dadchi and Yandere!Suga scare the ever loving crap out of Kags' douchebag parents and MamaHinata gives Kags all the love.
> 
> Next chapter - Kags returns to school.

Consciousness returned slowly to Kageyama, and it was not accompanied by the light of vision. Only darkness all around. Pain filled his body, yet the very first words that came from his lips were 'Sh-Sho-Shou-y-y-ou..." the name of his lover, seeking in the darkness for the orange hair of the other boy. A voice spoke, familiar to him. Coach Ukai? That's right.... he'd come to his store, then lost consciousness. Ukai spoke sounding worried "Kageyama... thank god, for a minute there I thought you were too far gone to save... Hinata's safe don't worry... he's sleeping, he pretty much cried himself into a state of exhaustion, but he's fine. We were waiting to see how bad your injuries were before taking you to the E.R. I've gotta say kid, I don't know what went down with you kids, but I've never seen anyone look as bad as you do and still be alive. Can you tell me what happened?" he felt the man's hand on his arm and tried to shake his head, but even moving his head caused agonising pain to shoot up his neck and spine and he sagged back gasping and half-sobbing with pain. Fuck. It hurt so much. "Easy! Just rest.... don't try to move... Jesus kid there's so much blood!". It was odd that he'd never heard that note of fear in the man's voice before. If he sounded that scared then Kageyama was really in a bad condition. Ukai's voice began to sound distant and garbled in his ears again and he blacked out once more.

The next awakening was clearly much later because now he felt numb like his injuries had been treated, he literally couldn't feel much at all which meant he was still under the effects of anaesthetic. He still couldn't see either, and his weak attempts at exploring his face with his hand revealed his eyes were tightly bound which meant they had probably received a lot of damage. He hoped the effects were only temporary. How could he protect Hinata from harm if he couldn't even see him? He felt jagged ridges and blemishes on what had once been flawless smooth skin. Stitches. So many stitches that seemed to be lacing him together almost. Was he some sort of Frankenstein monster now? He wondered if this grim visage had terrified Hinata when he'd first laid eyes on it. He knew the boy was close by, he could smell his scent like oranges in the air. Reaching across the bed he met the shape of another person, and carefully let his fingers explore the outline until he found that fluffy hair he had been seeking. Even exhausted and still trembling with fear as he was, he managed a smile of relief at Hinata's presence. At least he was safe. He had brought him into terrible peril with his stupidity and naivety, and almost cost the other boy dearly. Suppose they hadn't managed to escape? Suppose his father had killed him and then gone after Hinata next? He didn't even want to think about it! Sliding down in the bed he began to cry in earnest, tears slightly tinged with blood still from his injuries sliding out from under the bandages on his face. This was a nightmare and he couldn't seem to escape from it. How had an evening of such joy and celebration of their love turned into this tragedy? He was banished from his home forever now. He'd never see his parents again. And in spite of their actions somehow that truth still broke his heart completely. He curled up on his side and sobbed and sobbed until he thought his heart would literally stop in his chest.

Weeks passed and with regular treatments slowly Kageyama began to heal, but he wasn't without his scars both physical and mental from the terrible ordeal he'd suffered. First of all his eyes. Though they thankfully remained intact and didn't need to be operated on much, he went from perfect 20/20 vision, to only having partial sight in his right eye which tired easily and often involuntarily drooped into a weird wink. He had scars around this part of his face, the skin dark pink and shiny in contrast to the regular smooth white unblemished parts. More scars decorated his jaw and throat, as well as numerous big ones on his back and shoulder-blades where he'd been so cut up with things thrown at him. What had once been a very beautiful face was now even more like a delinquent thug that had survived a lot of fights and when people saw his looks they recoiled visibly, muttering about him obviously being a shady character. Once a Great Demon Lord, always a Great Demon Lord. Except if those people had seen the pain this boy was bearing on the inside in silence, their words wouldn't have been so cruel. If Kageyama's physical state was terrible, his mental state was worse. He could only sleep with drugs that literally made it impossible for him to dream. Because if he tried to sleep normally he would wake up screaming in terror, and trembling violently, half insane with fear. He was also afraid to be alone, and it had become Hinata's duty to be his bodyguard, sleeping alongside him and even standing outside the bathroom door talking to him and comforting him if he had to go do his business. Because if Hinata wasn't there, then Kageyama would start to suffer delusions and panic attacks. He had become paranoid and irrational and often thought his father was lurking in darkened corners or shadows, waiting to murder him or hurt Hinata. Kageyama had been damaged before by a lifetime of neglect, but now he was so traumatised that he was like a different person. He was quieter and never seemed to yell or call people dumbasses, having recognised that behaviour as being like his father now and wanting nothing more to do with it. He was largely quiet unless someone directly addressed him and asked him a question, and even then his responses were brief and stoic at best. Seeing the energetic, passionate setter devolve into this trembling terrified mousy thing was heartbreaking for Hinata. Sometimes it got too much to bear and he'd go stand outside in the rain and scream his fury at the heavens. Wanting to know why this had to happen. Why fate had it out for the pair of them. Why they had to keep suffering when all they wanted was to be peaceful and happy together.

Daichi wanted to go and destroy Kageyama's parents for what they'd done to him. He was so angry that his dark eyes burned like smouldering coals and he promised to destroy them for Kageyama's sake. But the setter had only shaken his head. In spite of everything that had happened. In spite of the sadness and anger he felt about his parents reaction to the love of his life. He still didn't want to retaliate and hurt them. Ultimately whatever their intents they had brought him into this world and without that he could never have met Hinata. He also didn't want Daichi to ruin his future for his sake. If he got into a fight with his parents he'd be kicked out of school at the very least and possibly even arrested. He wouldn't let anyone else suffer because of him. So he refused to press charges or make an assault case against his father. Nonetheless Daichi had still tried confronting them about it. He would wait outside their home first thing in the morning and try to confront them before work. Or late at night. But it always ended the same way. They either ignored him or threatened to call the police. He burned with a need for vengeance and Suga started to worry for his sake. He knew the 3rd year loved his team-mates as if they were his own children. One morning he went in Daichi's stead and met with Kageyama's mother. Nobody knew precisely what was said during that meeting, but Suga showed up on Hinata's doorstep with all of Kageyama's things acquired and a look in his eyes that made nobody want to question how he'd obtained them. Kageyama's parents moved out of the neighbourhood very shortly after that, and were not heard from again for a long long while.

With his parents gone, Kageyama did manage to get a little better, he could sleep a bit more naturally and stopped jumping at shadows, but his eyes still held a haunted look that made them seem much older than his 16 years. And he still remained quieter than the old Kageyama. Hinata's mother of course was a god send and more than happy to mother the poor boy, her heart aching for the pain he'd been through. Honestly had she not had Natsu and Hinata also to worry about she would have gone along with Daichi and Suga and tried to put those motherfuckers he called parents in the ground where they belonged. But such was fate. None the less she hoped vehemently that when Judgement Day arrived and they were judged for their sins, both of them would plummet screaming into the pit and suffer the worst hell imaginable. That was the only fitting end for child-abusers. She doubled up on the love for her newest son of course, petting his hair when she did likewise with Hinata and giving him warm hugs and spoiling him with treats and kindness and letting him enjoy the happiness of their family home. She knew the boy appreciated it too. He'd never experienced a real mother's love and so she poured it out for him, and gradually though his face was marred with scars and haunted with pain, he began to smile for her. Soft genuine smiles that showed her TLC was helping to heal his broken heart piece by piece. But ultimately the one this boy lived for now was her son, and she had to trust that he could save Kageyama from the purgatory he'd fallen into.


	19. Rumours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama returns to school but has to deal with a lot of unpleasant rumours about what happened to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to take this moment to say 'Bless Yachi-chan' because she is the purest sweetest cinnamon roll and I love her dearly. Such a good girl taking care of our poor Blueberry. And Hinata of course gives him what he needs too :3
> 
> I'm going to try maybe and sketch Kags so you guys can get the gist of how he looks now. Poor thing :( Where's Oikawa with his makeup when you need him? Get your butt here and give your kouhai a makeover! :P

It was Kageyama's decision to return to school. Hinata and his mother had tried to dissuade him from it, saying he wasn't ready yet, that he still had so much healing to do, but he had been adamant about it. He had made that decision to study hard and get into a good college or university so that he could support Hinata and take care of their future, and he wasn't about to let his grades start dropping again just on account of having an uglier mug than usual, not when he'd worked so hard with the help of others to get to his current excellent GPA. Nonetheless it was a nerve-racking situation he had placed himself into. He hadn't gone out of the house much since the attack because every time he did, he had to deal with people staring at him, and whispering and judging him based on his looks, and it was a horrible experience for him. Most of all because it made him feel ashamed to be at Hinata's side. He felt like he wasn't good enough for the other boy now. Hinata's face was still unblemished and whilst small and childish in appearance it had a sort of pixie-like beauty and cuteness to it. Inelegant but still adorable. Kageyama looked even more like some no good thug who was kidnapping a small innocent elementary schooler whenever they were together and the one time they'd gone to the mall together to try and buy Kageyama some new clothes (before Suga had gone and fetched his old ones), they'd actually been chased by a rent-a-mall-cop who had assumed Kageyama was some pervert trying to kidnap a small child. Hinata had angrily berated the guy, showing his student ID and identifying himself as a 17 year old high school student (he'd already had his birthday in June, 6 months before Kageyama hence being older than him) and told him Kageyama wasn't a thug he was a student also who'd been the victim of an accident. The mall-cop had apologised and Kageyama had silently inclined his head in respectful acceptance and forgiveness of the man, but none the less it had hurt his heart. So did the way people parted around him, not wanting to get close. Or the way when he stood from his seat on the bus to give the space to a lady with a baby, the kid had started to bawl and she instead of thanking him had given him a dirty look as if he'd done something horrible to her kid. People at the end of the day were stupid, and he was starting to become warped and apathetic to them. He really started to understand why Tsukishima was so salty all the time. The blonde megane was onto something. People sucked. But he had promised to do this for Hinata and he would endure any discomfort and pain for him.

Normally whenever Kageyama left the house, he covered up wearing a baseball cap with the brim pulled down low over his face to shadow his weird scarred eyes and with a scarf up around his neck to try and hide those around his chin and throat. But although he could still employ the scarf at least for the journey to the school, he knew the cap would be forbidden entirely. The principal was quite strict about that sort of thing. No hats, no accessories, no jewellery or piercings of any kind. So Kageyama would have to strip himself of his armour and expose his shame to all his classmates and deal with their gossiping. It was a prospect he wasn't keen on at all. But it would just have to be endured. He needed to keep studying and succeed at this school. He was glad Suga had managed to retrieve his school uniform from his parents, though just the thought of it as the last thing he'd worn before this had all happened, made the very fabric feel tainted. It had never had so much as a speck of blood on it, but somehow it felt soaked in it. It was wreathed in a choking aura of fear and hatred and pain. He made a mental note to get a new fresh uniform as soon as possible. And to burn all the clothes from his parents house, though he felt bad about that decision because Suga had gone to such lengths to get them back for him. Maybe there was a way to spiritually cleanse the negativity from the garments? He had no clue. He wasn't a priest. Dressing himself in the oppressive-feeling garment, he felt heavy and tired as if the negative vibes were chains wrapped around his person, preventing him feeling free and happy. He was really too sensitive. They were just clothes. Just fabric. He was going to have to 'man up' as his father had always put it. If he kept being weak then he'd be a victim for the rest of his life.

When they arrived at the school just as predicted there were a lot of the old bullcrap of people whispering and staring and coming up with their own ridiculously wrong theories about why Kageyama had been absent from school and why he had so many scars on his face. By lunch break there was already a bunch of rumours going around. Kageyama had gotten involved with Japanese Yakuza drug-lords and been in a fight for territory but he'd lost and they'd ripped his face up to teach him a lesson and make him an example to others. Honestly he wondered if it was a prerequisite of this school to have absolutely no common sense or ability to string coherent thoughts together. It would explain these hare-brained theories perfectly. The students were easy enough to ignore, but when the teachers also started flinching from him and being unable to look him in the eye, it really started to get on his nerves. Grown adults should be more open minded instead of assuming because a kid didn't look flawlessly perfect and beautiful they were some sort of horrible monster and bane of society. He found himself really identifying more and more with Frankenstein's monster, created wantonly and then abandoned to deal with the fear and prejudice of the human populace. The only breath of fresh air for him was Yachi. When he'd ventured to class 1-A to ask her something about studies, all the students in the hall had recoiled from him, and one girl in the judo club had gotten the wrong idea that he'd come to threaten and terrorize Yachi or extort money from her so she'd blocked the entrance to the classroom and chewed him out, telling him harshly he wasn't wanted around here and to skulk back to his dirty corner where he belonged. It was a good thing Hinata had stepped out to pick up their lunch because he knew the little orange haired boy would have head-butted this girl on the chin and gone nuts in his defence, which would have only damaged his reputation too and made matters worse. Yachi however had stood up and calmly broken up the confrontation "Inoue, that's not necessary. Kageyama-kun is my friend. He won't hurt me. I trust him" she smiled, trying to soothe the tense uncomfortable situation. The girl Inoue had stubbornly held her ground, staring down Kageyama mistrustfully "Fine. But I DON'T trust him so he isn't coming in this classroom. I have a duty to protect my classmates" she remarked, folding her arms across her chest. Yachi sighed "Alright. Kageyama-kun let me just get my bag and we can go some place else". The setter nodded uncomfortably, avoiding the harsh glares of the other girl, coaching himself mentally to just stay calm and not get worked up by the other's ignorant words and behaviour. 

When Yachi had gotten free of the classroom she lead the way up to the school roof, but since it was December now it would be too cold to eat outside, so they stopped on the stairs instead knowing that nobody else would be trying to come up this way today so they could be left in peace. Kageyama sat, already feeling exhausted and glanced quietly to Yachi seeing her dark eyes were filled with sympathy "I'm so sorry about Inoue, I know she was terribly rude, but she means well. She just wants to protect us 1st year girls from harm. She should know better about you though, so I'll be sure to explain to her that you're a good person" she told him. Kageyama nodded "It's fine... I'm used to it", he responded quietly "So what actually did happen? If you don't mind me asking? Sugawara-senpai and Daichi-senpai said that you'd been in some sort of accident and you were recovering that's why you weren't in school. But your face.... it looks so painful..." again that sympathetic look was on her face, and it made him feel even more weak and like a victim. He didn't really want to discuss the details though so he commented laconicly "Something like that yeah...". But that didn't make her intense gaze go away, something about it seeming so like Hinata, wanting to reach out to him and help him if only he'd trust her. He sighed "M-My parents... they found out about Hinata and me... they weren't very happy about it... my father did this to me... he almost killed me" he confessed quietly. Yachi inhaled sharply with a hand over her mouth. So horrible! Poor Kageyama! "Oh! Oh my god... I'm so sorry Kageyama-kun. I shouldn't have asked. What a horrible horrible thing to happen to someone. I... I guess I'm quite clueless, I had no idea that you and Hinata-kun were even together that way. Umm... I guess congratulations? You seem like you'll make each other happy... but that's such a terrible thing to happen to you! Especially after what happened to Hinata-kun! It's so unfair!" she actually seemed quite upset by the news, her dark eyes seeming to bead with genuine tears for his sake. The setter softened and reached tentatively somewhat awkwardly to pat the blonde head in front of him "It's okay... we're both still alive at least..." he tried awkwardly to console her. Yachi wiped her eyes on her sleeve "Look at me crying! You're the one who should be crying Kageyama-kun, but you're being so mature and strong about this! Even when everyone is spreading those horrible stupid rumours! I'm... I'm going to do my best to dispel those rumours okay? I guess I can't make it public about you and Hinata-kun's relationship, that sort of thing is still legally taboo, even though I'm personally not against it at all. I think people can't help loving who they love... But I'm going to make sure people stop saying bad things about you Kageyama-kun. You're a good person, okay?" her small face was scrunched up with determination in such a funny expression that the setter couldn't help but smile, some of the horrible choking weight of the day being shed just by having the support of a friend "Thank you" he told her "But honestly I don't mind the rumours that much, they keep the idiots distracted and off mine and Hinata's case. Besides idiots have to gossip. If they don't flap their gums enough times a day their brains might actually start working or something" he commented with a flash of the old Kageyama spiteful humour.

Just then Hinata found them and climbed the steps awkwardly with his crutch, swinging two snack breads from the cafeteria. He plonked himself down and handed one to Kageyama. Curry bread for the setter and a soba bun for himself. He gave the two a mock suspicious glance "You two are awful secretive up here away from prying eyes. Don't tell me I interrupted this cheater having a secret love affair behind my back" the orange haired boy laughed. Kageyama eye-rolled whilst Yachi flustered "No! Of course not! I fully support your relationship and don't plan on interrupting it in any way!". Hinata laughed "Chill Yachi-chan I was actually joking. I know you're a good person, because Tobio is smiling, and he hasn't done that all day. So thanks for having my boyfriend's back whilst I was away" he told her. Yachi blushed at the compliment and nodded "Uhm a-anyway... I'll bring you those notes you wanted a bit later on during Study Hall Kageyama-kun. I'll let you and Hinata-kun enjoy your lunch in peace. And thanks for trusting me with the truth!" she rose from her seat, not wanting to third wheel the couple and skipped down the steps turning to smile at the boys "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me" she told them and disappeared before Inoue came looking for her to herd her back like a lost lamb into the sheep-pen. Hinata tilted his head at Kageyama "You told her about us?" he asked the setter. The other boy already had a mouthful of curry bread so he simply nodded before swallowing and responding "Not much. Just that we're together and a bit of what happened with my family. I wasn't gonna but she pressed me" he replied honestly. Hinata nodded "I think she's safe to tell, but we're going to have to be careful who finds out about us. Homophobia isn't something that just applies to your parents. And I'll be damned if I'm ever going to let anyone beat you up again just because we're together" he told the setter fiercely, still trembling with rage at the thought of the pain and suffering Kageyama had gone through. Kageyama touched his shoulder gently, not putting much pressure to the touch, but silently letting him know he was still here, and that it was okay. Hinata glomped him around the middle, resting his orange head against the other boy's chest "I love you so much Tobio, and listening to people spout those ugly rumours makes me so mad. I feel like burning this whole stupid school to the ground" he ground out "You can't do that... for starters where would Karasuno play if you burned the school?" Kageyama reasoned with him, trying to be the voice of logic, though he wasn't really accustomed to that role as the former Bakageyama. "I'll burn everywhere except the gym" Hinata murmured into his boyfriend's chest. Kageyama pet his fluffy orange hair gently "And if the others want to study and get jobs and support themselves?" , "They don't need jobs. They can just play volleyball forever and be happy" , "Now you're being silly" Kageyama chided the smaller boy softly, lifting his head and kissing him sweetly on the forehead. Hinata lifted his head urgently claiming the setter's lips with desperation as the tears rolled from his eyes "I'm never going to let you get hurt again Tobio. Never!" he told him, savouring the taste of the curry bread on his boyfriend's lips, but cherishing more that solid real feeling of the boy in his arms. He had begun to have nightmares of his own about Kageyama being killed and taken away from him, and he had been so so scared by the events of that month, Kageyama kissed him back tenderly, pulling his little form close "I know Shouyou.... I know you won't.... I trust you"


	20. Invisible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama starts to feel ignored and has issues playing well because of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Pardon the late upload of this chapter but I was working hard to draw and colour a picture of our dear Blueberry and his recent scars, poor child :( I was going to draw the scars on his torso and back also but I'm not really that great at anatomy and getting body proportions right so it was safest just to stick to a headshot for now. 
> 
>  
> 
> [Tobio Scars](http://oi67.tinypic.com/33zcxso.jpg)
> 
>  
> 
> As you can see his right eye is almost blind and can't see more than coloured blurs so he's partial-sighted, and yes it pretty much has that half-closed appearance all the time because it was so badly damaged. Because of that he has no depth-perception anymore hence why in this chapter he's not allowed to set for the team anymore, harsh as it seems to take him from his favourite position.
> 
> If anyone else feels artistically inclined regarding this story please go ahead and doodle whatever you want, I'm always very flattered and happy to receive fanart :3
> 
> Hopefully next chapter will be less angsty and more fluffy again because my boy needs TLC :(

Late December brought relief to the lives of Kageyama and Hinata, because everyone was far too distracted with the upcoming holiday now to bother much about spreading nasty rumours. Instead of being feared and gossiped about, Kageyama had largely become ignored instead, even by his teachers, and his quieter disposition didn't help that much. It wasn't so bad at first to be invisible, because it meant he got to do things in peace without having to worry about avoiding crowds in case he caused a panic. But teachers and other students started to forget about him. A student at the desk in front would forget to hand him a worksheet in class, he'd be overlooked by the teacher when he raised his hand to answer a question, and worst of all teachers forgot to grade his work, and when he tried to approach them to remind them, they'd nod distractedly and mouth platitudes saying they'd do it straight away, but they wouldn't. He was working harder than ever at this school but thanks to late grading or lack thereof entirely his hard-earned GPA was starting to slip. It wasn't just classes either. He was skipped in the queue at the cafeteria, as if people took one look at his face and found it so horrible that they blanked it. He became depressed as a result and distant. Often he went to the bathroom by himself and cried. He hated his life. Nothing but Hinata was worthwhile in it. But at the same time he refused to burden his lover more by telling him these things, he'd hated seeing the small boy cry in his arms, knowing he'd been through so much. And at least Yachi-chan and the volleyball team knew he still existed so he consoled himself with that. Lunchtimes on the stairs were the only things that kept him going. 

But then Karasuno suddenly started becoming distant too. Suga was doing the setting more these days because Hinata couldn't play and so Kageyama's main benefit with the duo quicks wasn't possible anymore, he'd accepted Hinata's role instead of middle-blocking even though he loved to set more than anything. With his partial vision he just couldn't be trusted to accurately set up shots now though, so it was decided for the best that he just use his height and jumping ability to block instead. It still felt wrong somehow though. He often envisioned Hinata on the court jumping so high and it distracted him frequently during play, along with his bad eyesight so that he was much clumsier than he had been and frequently had to bow to his senpais and ask their forgiveness for screwing up. It had been okay to mess up when they'd first started even though he rarely had. But it was approaching the end of the semester and he'd be a 2nd year next year, and that meant not only would the 3rd years be gone and unable to guide him anymore, but he'd have to show the ropes to a new bunch of first years. He couldn't afford to keep messing up here! So he worked twice as hard, ran twice as far, jumped twice as high and pushed himself beyond exhaustion trying to compensate for his stupid eye. 

Hinata worried about his health and scolded him for pushing himself over the limits when he saw him crouching at the side-lines after practice, legs shaking violently and wheezing for breath with exhaustion but Kageyama stubbornly shook his head "I have to.... try harder.... have to... remain seen" he blurted out, and paused wondering why he'd chosen those particular words. Was it really that he was going so overboard not for the sake of the team but because he wanted to be noticed and praised for his work? Because he didn't want to become any more invisible? Already it seemed his fellow team-mates were largely bypassing him for shots and passing to Tsukishima instead who fouled up less and was as always a picture of effortless slender elegance on the court. And the fear of being ignored by his team, terrified Kageyama so much that he couldn't even concentrate. He'd been hit on the head by a ball he was trying to block or catch at least 3 times today and he knew everyone was getting frustrated with him, by the air of tenseness around. Finally he went too far and ended up fouling up a block by jumping too aggressively and crashing into Tsukishima managing to break his glasses and suddenly everyone was yelling at him. He wasn't invisible anymore but this wasn't the attention he'd wanted. Seeing those angry faces staring down at him, and Tsukishima's burning gold eyes staring up at him he felt his heart stop in his chest again for the 2nd time in so many months and instinctively flinched with his hands over his head as if he expected to be hit. Seeing this response made his team-mates back off pretty quick, their anger turning to horror and guilt. They'd taken it for granted that Kageyama had recovered from his traumatic near-death experience at the hands of his parents. They'd expected him to just be able to play again like normal. But obviously he was still deeply damaged by those events and they'd pushed the boy too far. 

Seeing him crouch so small on the court trembling and trying not to sob made Yachi move from the sidelines abandoning her managerial position to move to the ex-setter's side "Kageyama-kun... you should have told us you were still suffering so much... you hid it so well that we forgot... but we're sorry.... please forgive us" she spoke the words that everyone was thinking. Even Kiyoko, always so composed and elegant quietly walked to join her fellow manager and ask Kageyama gently "Do you want to take a time-out? You need to rest, you must be exhausted". The boy exhaled and finally lowered his hands, shame causing his face to flush, though it was sweaty and exhausted too, his eyes red and brimming with held back tears. He nodded silently not trusting his voice to speak and the two managers lead him off court so the others could continue. Nobody's heart was in the game though and eventually they just called it a night. Kageyama bowed once more before Suga and Daichi apologising for wasting their time with his mess-ups, but this time instead of getting angry they just sighed like worried parents "Kageyama you're only human. You can't be expected to do the impossible, and it's obvious you're not yet recovered enough to play. Maybe you should stay on the bench from now on and get some rest. We don't want to risk you or others getting hurt" Daichi told him seriously. Kageyama took it the wrong way however and assumed they were kicking him off the team. He became visibly distressed "No! Please! I'll do better. Don't bench me please!" he protested, his blue eyes looking so heartbroken that Suga reached out to touch his shoulder gently "Kageyama... we're not benching you because you're not a good player. We're worried about your health that's all. I know you love playing volleyball. Honestly I've never seen people so enthused to play as you and Hinata, and I know you probably feel you owe it to him to keep playing because he can't anymore. But if you keep overlooking your health you're going to end up doing worse than just breaking someone's glasses. Now please just... just relax a little. It's coming up to Christmas right? Focus on that and try and rest up and maybe in the new year you can play a little" he told him, but Kageyama knew that in the new year his senpais would be gone and he wouldn't get to play with them again. He bowed his head looking devastated at the news and nodded in depressed silence to his captain and vice captain. 

Hinata watching from the stands felt as though someone had stabbed him in the chest and he was bleeding to death, the pain of seeing his lover suffering in silence and having absolutely no power to stop it, was soul-destroying. When Kageyama finally left the court for the night and moved to the locker room the boy waited until everyone else had changed and left, then he approached Kageyama, wrapping his arms around the boy's shoulders and resting his head against the dark hair "Tobio.... I'm sorry.... I promised I'd never let anyone make you cry again... but I keep failing to keep my promise. And you keep crying" he told him, biting his lip with a sob of his own. Kageyama exhaled "It's my fault... I tried to shoulder the burden on my own. I wouldn't allow anyone to help me. I always think I'll be a burden to people if I tell them that I still get scared, that sometimes I still have nightmares about him. I just want my old life back Shouyou. I want us to both be on the court playing like we used to. God I'd give anything to return to those days. But we can't..." he sighed looking at the tearful eyes of the other boy "It's funny how something we both love so much can be a source of so much stress and pain. I'm sorry for making you worry about me Shouyou. Lets go home okay? I need to chill out after the stress of today. Suga's given me strict chill-out orders" he tried to lighten the mood with a joke, but he couldn't quite bring a smile to his lips and it was obvious that he was sad about today's outcome.

Hinata resolved to do something to really make the ex-setter happy. He knew the boy's birthday was fast approaching, often overlooked because it was so close to Christmas. But he'd be turning 17 this month. He should try to arrange something really fun to take some of the weight off everyone's shoulders and make Kageyama feel like a part of the team again. He would discuss it with Yachi-chan and the others tomorrow! He felt a buzz of excitement thinking of all the ways he could bring a smile to his poor lover's lips. Kageyama noticed the change in mood and quirked a brow suspiciously "You're plotting something...." he remarked giving Hinata an intense stare. "Am I?" Hinata replied mock innocently "I'm not sure what you mean Tobio" he told him as he grabbed the other boy's bag from him and bounced off.... well bounced as much as it was possible to bounce with a crutch. Kageyama sighed and rolled his eyes, following the smaller boy. Well at least it would be interesting to find out what his lover was up to.


	21. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama's birthday leads to some interesting shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh sorry for the 2 day delay I allowed myself to get super distracted. And I wanted this chapter to be wholly fluffy but it's Kageyama we're talking about and he's a total drama llama so of course there had to be a healthy dollop of angst in there too. Hopefully Hinata has set him straight once and for all about this paranoid bullshit.
> 
> I've decided the final chapter will be Chapter 24 as I am starting to run out of ideas for what to do with these boys and I don't want to just keep pointlessly angsting with them. So there will be 3 more chapters and then that's it. But I will probably write more KageHina fics in the future so try not to be too devastated!
> 
> Anyway enjoy some dramatic angst and tooth-rotting fluff <3

The morning of Kageyama's birthday was like any other morning. He had gotten accustomed to never seeing his parents and having them forget his birthday entirely, so he had stopped remembering his birthday himself really. He was distantly aware that he got older each year, but he never really dwelled on the fact that his birth was something that should be celebrated. His Kitagawa team-mates had never celebrated it, and he'd made a point of not telling his Karasuno team-mates when it was, not wanting to endure the pain of having them forget, besides he didn't want to be a burden on them. It was almost Christmas and they were busy with their families and their own upcoming celebrations. Not to mention the 3rd years would be leaving when the Spring term began. So this was their last couple of months as part of the team. He didn't want to interrupt them making and preserving memories with something so selfish. But he had told Hinata once about his birthday when the smaller boy had asked him. They had been chatting at night during one of the times Kageyama had come to visit, before the ordeal with his parents. He had found out Hinata's birthday was on the Summer Solstice and the news had made him smile, thinking how appropriate that was for a boy that was made of Sunshine. His was the day after the Winter Solstice, almost exactly 6 months after Hinata's which made him the youngest first year on the team (Tsukishima and Yachi were both born in September and even Yamaguchi was a month older than him with a November birthday). Being born in Winter seemed to fit him. He always felt cold and isolated by the outside world, and like his presence was something unpleasant to others. The icy wind that spoiled the warmth and happiness of others. Hinata had been excited though, not just because Kageyama had trusted him enough to tell him something intimate like that. He'd told him that he once read a book that said 21st of December was known as 'Yule' originally and was the true Christmas celebration. Kageyama had blushed and pointed out stoically that his birthday was the 22nd not the 21st and he had no part of such western mythology. He'd also teased Hinata mercilessly for only remembering pointless facts from fanciful foreign books and not his school textbooks. But it had felt nice to have something good associated with his birth.

But today was like an ordinary morning. He woke in the guest bedroom that had now been semi-converted into his own room. He had formerly been sharing a bed with Hinata but as much as he loved the short orange haired boy, he was really impossible to sleep with. He rolled around like a tiny orange hedgehog and randomly slammed his fist into Kageyama's stomach and groin whilst sleeping, which wasn't very safe for his manhood. Also he snored and drooled and Kageyama hadn't been getting much sleep sharing a bed with him. Eventually Mama Hinata had taken matters into her own hands and created this space for him, and he was immensely grateful for it, though he still missed Hinata's warmth and sometimes when he woke up with nightmares he would have been happy to be punched in the nuts just to feel safe in his lover's arms. The house was quiet which was unusual for this household. Normally Hinata would have been hobbling with loud thumping noises up and down the hall by now yelling to his sister and Mother concerning the whereabouts of certain necessary items for his school day. He would have been banging down Kageyama's door as if he couldn't wait a second longer to be reunited with the ex-setter. But it was quiet. And that feeling made Kageyama feel cold and afraid. The last time he had woken up to silence, was when he was back in his parents house, when they had neglected and ignored him because they hated him. He clambered out of bed anxiously pulling a robe around himself and poked his head out of the bedroom. It really was quiet. Had everyone gone out? Padding downstairs he found a bento laid out for him beside a breakfast plate and a note. Apparently the Hinatas had gone out that morning on an urgent supply run and Hinata would see him at school. Well.... okay then. But it was worrying nonetheless to have this change in routine. His mother had left notes for him once upon a time before she'd totally given up on him and just ignored him entirely. Clutching the note to his chest he whispered a fervent prayer to any divine spirit that would listen "Please.... don't let this happen again.... anything but this.... I can't be left behind again.... I just can't...."

After listlessly picking around his breakfast due to concern and anxiety diminishing his appetite, he hurried upstairs and got dressed making himself presentable for school. Or the best he could when his face still looked such a wreck. He really would have to speak to Oikawa about methods of concealing scars. That guy knew everything there was to know about beautification of ones self. Not that it was really worth the effort. His fellow classmates didn't even remember he existed most of the time, so why would they care if he tried to make himself look good? He wondered with an absent bout of paranoia if Hinata still found him attractive like this. He'd called Kageyama sexy only twice that he recalled and both times had been pre-injury. He didn't recall if he'd said anything to confirm he still felt attracted to him. What if he was only staying with him now out of sympathy and guilt? What if by sticking around here he was really being a burden on his lover? There was no reason to force someone to endure hanging around an ugly thing like him. He wished Hinata was here right now to tell him outright that he was being stupid and to hug him like he always did and restore his faith in continuing to live. But he wasn't. And he was floundering in doubt and fear. 

Leaving the house in a dark mood, he headed to school managing to create such a scary aura around himself that his usual 'invisibility cloak' was thrown aside for today and the students definitely noticed him, backing against the lockers too afraid to even gossip. Even the teachers definitely remembered him today and apologised for tardy responses to his grading, returning work to him with decent grades again. Though he was convinced they only did so because they had some insane belief that he was some scary thug that would pound them if they didn't comply with his wishes. Nonetheless he figured their mistaken beliefs would be useful at least. He wouldn't rush to correct them that he was a nice person. 'Better to Reign in Hell than Serve in Heaven' or something like that. Wasn't that how the saying went? He finally understood why Tsukishima was such an asshole all the time. He had to be to get any sort of respect around here. Well fine, if they wanted to play it like that, then he'd give them a good act. He amped up his scary stare and really played into the role of frightening thug, he had the looks for it after all. And it was ultimately his destiny. His parents were assholes, why not be their son and be an asshole too. The world seemed determined to reject him anyway whether he tried to be good or not. 

Except somewhere deep inside his heart he knew that was wrong. That by thinking such things he was betraying the faith Hinata had put in him. That Yachi had put in him. That everyone on the team had put on him. He could act 'The King' as much as he wanted, but to the people that really counted he was just Tobio, a sweet sincere and somewhat shy boy that was sensitive and vulnerable like anyone else and had a beautiful heart beneath the scars on his face. Ugh. The conflict of his conscience between doing the wicked but convenient things to serve his own needs and continuing to suffer like a martyr walking down the road of righteousness was really getting to be a pain in the ass. He could almost picture little devil and angel versions of himself sitting on his shoulder, the devil Kageyama goading him to give those asshole students something to really be afraid of, to make them pay for every tear he'd shed because of their cruelty, whilst the angel Kageyama shook his head sadly and tried to plea with him that he didn't want to do this, that he was only proving his parents right that he was worthless and a bad person if he behaved in this way, that he was hurting the people who trusted him ultimately. "Enough!" he roared eventually sick of the shit and slamming a fist into his locker as he stood between classes. He had come here to fetch his textbook for the lesson when he'd had this little internal conflict start up. As expected his outburst made all the nearby students flinch from him, and suddenly their reaction wasn't gratifying anymore. It made him feel tired. He needed to find Hinata and fast. He needed to know whether the other boy cared about him or not!

The hunt began. He searched all the usual places he expected to find Hinata but he couldn't seem to locate him anywhere. Not in any of the classes. Not in the library. Not in the cafeteria. That only left one place. The gym. But why would he be there? He couldn't even play anymore and Kageyama was benched indefinitely. What reason would there be to go there now? When he wasn't there? Could he be maybe meeting someone else? Had he fallen for another member of the volleyball team? Someone without these mental issues and physical deformities? He remembered when Yachi had first become manager, they'd been pretty close. Hinata had even blushed a bit around her. Had he given up and gone back to girls?! If Kageyama had stopped and thought rationally for a second he'd have realised how fucking stupid that sounded, but he was panicking pretty badly by this point and feeling rejected and alienated. It seemed like a simple progression to move from being pitied and avoided by Hinata to being hated and dumped. Hadn't he been the first one to confess his feelings anyway? What if Hinata had never felt the same way about him? What if he'd just been making do, until he found someone better? He stopped running and just stood still, hands falling to his sides and head lowering. What was the point anymore if Hinata didn't want him? What was the point in even existing? He sank to his knees on the path just letting the tears flow, sobbing so hard he could scarcely breathe. Why had he even been spared from death if he was just going to have his heart broken again like this?

"Kageyama-kun?" a voice spoke from behind him. He barely turned his head, aware that his crying face was a horrible thing to behold, even worse than his usual scarred visage. He could just make out between the blur of tears the face of the volleyball club's teacher advisor Takeda-sensei. The man approached as if confronting a frightened animal, speaking gently but not with the patronising tone that some used. And he didn't seem at all afraid of the boy in front of him. "Do you want to come and tell me what the problem is?" he offered his hand to the brunette, with a kind manner. Kageyama hugged his arms to himself, at first hesitating, then because it was so painful and embarrassing to keep sobbing like this he accepted the hand gingerly, allowing the teacher to pull him to his feet with surprising strength for such a slight and almost femininely-built man. Takeda-sensei said nothing as he guided the boy back inside, keeping to back corridors and unfrequented stairways to avoid Kageyama the shame of being seen crying his eyes out like this. When they reached the guidance counsellor's office he removed a key from his pocket and unlocked it allowing the boy inside before closing the door behind them. He gestured to a chair "Have a seat please Kageyama-kun. Would you like some tea?" he asked him gently, his hazel eyes watching him quietly with concern but again no sign of the patronizing pity that others looked at him with. Kageyama had managed to silence his sobs to dull sniffles, his throat felt sore and parched from the grief though and his eyes were burning painfully, the bad eye almost closed from the force of crying so much with damaged tear-ducts. His breathing was ragged and unsteady. He managed to nod for the teacher though. The man turned about his duties, with that same calm collected attitude as before. Gradually his Zen-like state of calm seemed to help Kageyama collect his feelings so he could at least breathe normally again. A cup of sweet barley tea was put in front of him and he accepted it, mumbling thanks hoarsely and bringing the cup to his lips. Mmm! Sweetened with honey but not too much. Just enough that he felt the soothing warmth slip down his throat and heal the burning sensation the sobbing had caused. He glanced up at Takeda-sensei who had taken the seat opposite him fingers steepled together by his lips, watching him intently "Whenever you're ready Kageyama-kun could you please explain the events leading up to me finding you?". Kageyama took a deep breath and set down the cup then began.

He had expected Takeda-sensei to laugh at him or tell him he was crazy. But the man remained studiously quiet for the duration of his explanation, waiting until he had finished before speaking "I see. I see. That makes sense I suppose. You ought to have approached me sooner about troubles with teachers not grading your work or students deliberately obstructing your learning. That is unprofessional conduct and should not be tolerated at this school. About the other matters though.... well I think perhaps you are the type to formulate wild ideas in your imagination and torture yourself with them before considering truly how likely they are. Tell me honestly Kageyama-kun... do you think Hinata-kun or Yachi-san would be the type to betray you like that by becoming intimate with each other? Especially secretly behind your back. When has Hinata-kun ever done anything that would give you reason to mistrust him?" he asked the boy, Kageyama thought about it carefully. He couldn't think of any moment. Hinata had always had his back 24/7. He'd always believed in him. He'd always supported him. He'd always encouraged him to believe in himself. Yachi too was the kindest sweetest person and never given him reason to doubt her earnest and respectful ways. So where exactly had those paranoid thoughts come from? Had he really allowed himself to think so badly of his friends out of sheer jealousy for an affair that didn't even exist? His cheeks burned with shame giving the teacher a good idea that he'd finally put two and two together rationally in his head and come up with a sensible result. "I understand that you feel very strongly Kageyama-kun, and someone who's been given so many reasons to doubt their own worth would naturally feel very anxious about any sort of shift from a normal safe routine. But I think you'll find that your fears are ungrounded regarding your team-mates and Hinata-kun. Now.... you don't want to frighten your team-members by showing up in such a sorry state do you? I recommend you spend the last two periods resting in the infirmary and try and compose yourself. But you should return to the gym as normal when the final bell rings. Don't ask me why. I'm not at liberty to say. Only that it is important" he moved to put a hand on the boy's shoulder giving it a slight comforting squeeze before moving to hold the door open for him. Kageyama finished his tea quickly and rose from his seat bowing his head awkwardly to the smaller man "Th-thank you sir...." , "Don't mention it. But please don't allow the opinions of others to sway who you know you are on the inside okay Kageyama-kun? I don't want to hear anything more about you terrorizing the teachers and students out of some misguided concept that you need to play the 'bad boy'. Understood? You and I both know you are not like that" Takeda-sensei told him seriously, his gaze intent until Kageyama nodded awkwardly with a small flush of shame. "Yes sir... sorry sir" he repeated "Okay we'll say no more on the matter then. Go and rest!" the teacher smiled warmly and patted him on the back. Kageyama headed straight to the infirmary and practically collapsed onto a bed. He felt exhausted through to the soul.

When he woke up he'd missed the last two periods and the bell for the end of the school day was just sounding, remembering what Takeda-sensei had said about going to the gym he rose, pausing to pull his uniform back together, unruffle his hair from sleeping and ensure he looked at least semi not-gross. Then feeling somewhat apprehensive and curious as to what could be happening, he headed down to the gym. When he opened the gym it was dark inside and he frowned in confusion. Practice should be beginning right about now. Why was it so dark in here. He fumbled for the light-switch, finding it and turning it on. The whole team including Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai was stood before him beaming and wearing party hats. A large banner hung from the upper walkway spelling out the words 'Happy Birthday Kageyama' and a massive cake was sitting on a catering tray to one side. Hinata grinning like a chesire cat and holding a party horn blew enthusiastically into it and shouted "Happy Birthday Tobio!" flinging himself into a glomp hug around the other boy's neck. The rest of Karasuno chorused "Happy Birthday Kageyama!" and the ex-setter didn't even know how to verbally respond. He'd been doubting them and coming up with far-fetched theories of betrayal and affairs and they'd been planning a surprise party the whole time? They actually remembered his birthday and cared about him? He almost began crying again from sheer shock, but held himself back at the last moment. No. He wouldn't spoil this moment with tears. There had been too many tears recently. This was a moment to be happy. His face broke into the purest and widest smile that had ever been seen on his face, speaking with heart-felt genuine emotion palpable in his every vocal inflection and action "Thank you.... thank you all so much.... I..... I don't deserve to be part of a team this great.... I'm.... I'm so happy...." he faltered and felt his team-mates move in one by one to join the group hug that Hinata had fiercely instigated. Even Kiyoko gave him a small hug and wished him sincerely 'Happy Birthday'. Tsukishima was less hands-on, but he rolled his eyes and tsunderely held out a small gift "Happy Birthday, you idiot" he told him grumpily. Kageyama was just on cloud nine the whole evening, and he talked with everyone and laughed and smiled and just felt more alive than he'd done in months. God he'd never doubt Hinata again. That boy was his saviour. His lifeline. His weird orange angel who snored in bed and punched him in the crotch. He loved him to the ends of the earth.

When the excitement of the party was finally over, they went home and the Hinata family party kicked off, with Hinata's Mom making his favourite pork curry with a soft boiled egg and kissing his forehead as if he were her own flesh and blood son, apologising for being absent that morning, saying Hinata had insisted on dragging them all out to help buy things for the two parties and to keep them from spoiling the surprise. Kageyama smiling so much he thought his jaw would genuinely fall off, had hugged her back and said there was nothing to apologise for and nothing to forgive, she had been acting as a Mom should. The older woman had blushed a little at the compliment "Will you do it then?" she asked. Kageyama tilted his head "Do it?" he repeated in confusion "Call me Mom. I want you to. You're part of our family now". Kageyama's heart swelled with love and he tightly embraced the woman in front of him "Okay... M-Mom...." he addressed her shyly, flushing with happiness. She reached to caress his soft black hair "Don't worry, you're a Hinata now. You're part of our family Tobio-chan and we'll love you always". Those words he'd been longing to hear for so long finally broke the dam holding back his tears and he cried genuine tears of joy as she continued to stroke his head and speak gentle comforts to the boy her son loved so much. Finally when Kageyama retired to bed feeling the happiest he'd felt in a long time, he heard a knock on his bedroom door. Hinata entered when he gave his permission, and he looked at the small orange haired boy "Tobio? Can I sleep with you tonight? I promise I'll try not to punch you anywhere sensitive. I just.... I really miss your warmth" Hinata confessed. Kageyama's expression melted and he nodded. How could he refuse after everything Hinata had done for him, and when he'd so wickedly doubted his fidelity? Hinata seemed to pick up on the way Kageyama averted his eyes and looked guilty and ashamed and he sighed snuggling closer "Something on your mind? You should really talk about your problems instead of bottling them up" he told him quietly and Kageyama wondered when the guy he'd originally dismissed as an idiot had become so mature. He exhaled shamefully and began to confess everything he'd thought and felt that day. At the end of it he looked away, fearing that Hinata would be angry with him. But instead the small hands of the other boy reached for his chin, turning his head to look at him "I can't say it doesn't hurt to know you doubted me Kageyama, but I hope those doubts have been cleared from your mind now. You should know I will NEVER EVER abandon you. No matter how you look on the outside or what you think you might do wrong. I love you now and always. You're my soul mate. I really believe that. And if you don't understand it yet then I will have to keep kissing you until you do understand" he claimed the pale scarred lips in front of him, fingers tracing the marks on the other boy's face as if memorising them as new additions to the man he loved. Kageyama melted into his touch, kissing back with a need fiercer than that of a drowning man needing oxygen. "Shouyou... I love you.... I'm sorry I doubted you.... I'll never disbelieve again...." he gasped between fervent kisses, pulling their clothes from each other, bodies arching into the touch of each other, starved for affection and hungry to sate their thirst "You'd better not Bakageyama Tobio" Hinata huffed as he kissed and bit at the throat of the bigger boy, latching on with a love bite that would leave a bruise tomorrow "You're mine for now and ever... and I'm not going to let you escape"


	22. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xmas fluff and cuteness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had this chapter written since yesterday afternoon but I was holding out posting it hoping that I would get a comment on the last chapter first. But clearly that is not going to happen (it seems at weekends nobody really comments on my fics :/ ) So I figured screw it, and decided to post anyway. Hope I get some feedback on this one :3

Following the last day of school, the Christmas holidays were quite abruptly thrust on them. And apparently unlike most Japanese families, in the Hinata household, Christmas was a BIG DEAL. Supposedly Hinata's father had lived in America for a while and even though he was now absent from the family and not the most favoured memory, the family had never really stopped celebrating Christmas the American way with big over the top gestures in terms of decorating and traditions and customs to follow. Mama Hinata had had her heart set on a REAL pine tree, until they had realised that the only pine trees growing in Miyagi were those on the Matsushima islands which were protected and certainly wouldn't be allowed to be cut down. Reluctantly they had settled for the most realistic looking synthetic tree that money could buy and Kageyama who had naively agreed to go shopping with his new mother had had to tow the massive thing home along with reams of shopping bags as Mama Hinata apparently got a little overexcited when she shopped and didn't seem to be able to say no to every little whim. And they weren't allowed to go into any coffee shops with a huge Christmas tree strapped to the ex-setter's back, so he didn't even get to rest from his pack mule duties. But once they were home and Hinata and Natsu had pounced on the tree eager to set it up and decorate it, Kageyama had decided the pain was worthwhile. He lay flopped under the family kotatsu table head resting on the wooden surface whilst his legs were spread akimbo on the cushions beneath, just sprawled like a rag-doll someone had taken all the stuffing out of. He didn't plan on moving again any time soon. But hey, at least Mama Hinata was keeping him exercised and fit during his time off the team and away from playing volleyball. 

He was glad of that fact because the woman was a non-stop cooking machine over the holiday period, and it had seemed like he was going to swell up like a balloon with weight gain from all the sample cookies and other snacks she kept trying to force feed him. As it was he was noticing he was getting a bit less skinny and rather soft around the middle which he'd never been before when he'd lived with his parents and they'd worked even through Christmas so he'd spent every year by himself with a lousy microwave 'turkey dinner' and his own thoughts to torment him. He'd always hated Christmas because of that. But this year he was somewhere good and with people he loved so he was trying to allow himself to give in to the cheerful mood and smile at their happiness, laugh at their jokes and maybe eat a little bit too much treats. But he'd be working like a dog come January to burn all those pounds off that was for sure. He wasn't going to let his suspension from playing let him lose his athlete body. 

Of course his god-damned boyfriend Hinata seemed to have that annoying metabolism where he could eat like a horse and never put on a single pound. Damn him, that stupidly beautiful little chibi bastard. He never got pimples either, or pubescent facial hair, or anything that would mar his looks short of his wild orange 'finger in an electric socket' hair and diminutive size. Kageyama was half convinced that Hinata was probably some sort of fairy or leprechaun or something. It would explain the eternally child-like way he looked to a tee. He had teased his small lover by grinning and commenting somewhat meanly that if they couldn't find a star or angel for the top of the tree they could just strap Hinata up there because he was near enough to the same size. Hinata had pouted at Kageyama protesting 'You're so mean Tobio! You know I'm sensitive about my height' and then the ex-setter had felt guilty and cuddled him nuzzling up close and apologising whilst kissing his pouting cute face. Hinata had melted like a snowflake on a hot stove and succumbed to those kisses and sweet nothings whispered in his ear.

On Christmas Eve they had a TON of visitors. First Daichi and Suga had shown up to leave the two gifts and they had ended up staying because everyone knew this might be the last time they'd see them for a while. They had graduated now and wouldn't be playing with Karasuno for the next term's games. It was a fact that the two younger boy's had not mentally grasped fully yet, because the shock of their senpais being gone was so big that their brains just couldn't process it. One by one more and more of the Karasuno team had dropped by to visit the boys, demonstrating that even when they were not playing they were still loved as part of the team. Eventually someone had suggested going outside to play in the snow that had been falling since that morning, and Hinata had been all over the idea, until Mama Hinata and Kageyama had cornered him, and sternly reminded him about the fragile state of his legs still, and how dangerous it would be to go on slippery icy paths with a crutch. Hinata had pouted and pouted and turned the huge amber puppy-dog eyes on his mother and lover, protesting that he would be careful so wouldn't they PLEASE let him play and have fun, throwing in such pleas as it being the last time he could have fun with his senpais, and eventually very reluctantly he had been allowed to go out. Victory. Once outside there had been some cursory attempts at building a snowman, which had turned out to be Ushiwaka from Shiratorizawa for some unknown reason, towering above Hinata and having big stern stick eyebrows over his coal eyes, the appearance had been so fitting and accurate that everyone had collapsed in giggles at the SnowUshi until Nishinoya had tackled the sculpture with a warrior scream and accidentally decapitated him. Somewhere else a very confused Ushijima Wakatoshi felt a chill up his spine and sneezed a little wondering if he was coming down with a cold...

The next thing had been a snowball fight, or as Nishinoya and Tanaka dubbed it 'Snow Volleyball'. This meant the boys dividing up into teams and trying to set and spike snowballs thrown to them. Unfortunately snowballs weren't as firm as volleyballs and after a while it degenerated into an all out snowball war with people trying to get others even on their own team. Kageyama had gotten caught up in the moment, laughing and flushed with happiness to be spending this time with his team again, even if what they were doing made a mockery of everything he loved and believed in about volleyball as a sport. It just felt like such a relief to be able to play alongside his senpais one more time. Even if it was a goodbye game. But he wasn't going to dwell on that sad fact, he'd just remember the feelings of happiness that lingered, the flushed smiling faces, the laughter that rang through the air. He was caught up in his reminiscing and didn't spot Yamaguchi sneak up on him and shove a snowball down the back of his jacket and he froze up with an awkward squawk, twisting and trying to get the cold thing out of his clothes whilst Tsukishima high-fived his partner in crime, grinning in a fox-like predatory way. This was the only way Tsukishima ever smiled. He didn't do fluffy nice emotions. He had to do things meanly or it didn't feel right to him. Kageyama normally would have protested but he knew this was Tsukishima's way of having fun with everyone. Instead he smirked back and gathered an armful of pre-rolled snowball ammo and began rapid-fire flinging it at the duo "Bastards! I'll get you back for that!". After that it was just chaos with everyone trying to throw snowballs at everyone else. 

But then there had come a brief scary moment when Hinata, who had gotten himself over-excited and worked up, ended up falling flat on his back, and Kageyama panicking had dropped everything he was doing to fling himself at the boy crying out "Shouyou!" in genuine alarm. Fortunately the boy was uninjured, just his legs had decided they'd had enough of trying to support him in subzero temperatures. That signalled the end of the snowball fight and Kageyama lifted the small orange-haired boy in his arms, princess-carrying him into the house followed by a troop of cold wet boys. Hinata was deposited under the kotatsu to warm up, and the rest of the boys after stamping off snow at the door and removing their boots and coats were allowed to flop exhausted on all the spare furniture whilst they were supplied with home-made hot cocoa courtesy of Mama Hinata. She made the best cocoa and spiced it with cloves and a hint of orange zest so that the rich warmness coated each thirsty throat and nobody had any desire to talk for a while, just enjoying the warm beverage. But eventually reluctantly everyone had to go, they had their own families to spend time with after all. Hinata had fallen asleep under the kotatsu, utterly exhausted and mumbling adorably in his sleep about 'Santa' like some overgrown 5 year old. Kageyama stroked his springy orange hair tenderly and then picked him up and carried him up to bed. Somehow in spite of the whole arrangement to have separate bedrooms they had been sleeping in each other's rooms more recently. Possibly because Hinata felt vulnerable at this time of year because he was spending Christmas without his father, although the man had left quite a while ago when Hinata was still young, but he had never quite gotten over it. Kageyama's traumas were more fresh, but he didn't allow them to eclipse his boyfriend's needs and curled up to the warm sleeping body at his side, cuddling the smaller boy if he seemed to dream about his father or whisper something sad in his sleep. Hinata gave him so much support, he wanted to return the favour. He wanted to love and protect this boy too, the way he loved and protected him from so much hardship and sadness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay on next chapter I am working on some artwork to go with it and that is holding the process up a lot because it's taking a lot more time to finish the art. I will upload it as soon as I'm done, so please bear with me and thanks for your patience!


	23. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama and Hinata visit a New Years festival at the local shrine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man! I'm so so so so so so so super sorry for taking forever to get this update done. I've actually had the chapter written for days but I wanted to do an artwork for it because I was super inspired by how cute these two boys are and wanted to draw them in their kimonos. So tada here's my really awful disproportionate, can't-draw-kimonos-to-save-my-life artwork. Enjoy ^w^ <3
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> [New Year Boys](http://oi64.tinypic.com/2cdcr9e.jpg)
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> Next chapter as you know will be the last and will be a sort of 'Epilogue' of the story, but as I've told The_Bookworm, my most regular commenter, I hope to eventually write a sequel to this story and I'm definitely going to be writing lots more Haikyuu fics so please check those out also :3

Once the Christmas period was over and done with and Kageyama was certain he had almost doubled in weight, he had really thrown himself into exercising as much as possible and going for morning jogs. Hinata could do stationary exercises with him but running of course was out of the question, and it was frustrating for the small orange-haired former middle-blocker because if his immobility had been because of a physical injury, he could have worn leg braces or gotten a sports-capable prosthetic. But there was no brace or prosthetic available for people who couldn't run due to brain damage because they'd been hit with a volleyball in the face too many times. All the expensive surgery and equipment in the world wouldn't fix a basic lack of stamina and endurance. Not even loading up on protein foods for muscle building or energy drinks helped him, because his shitty annoying body just absorbed everything like a sponge and he never got results from body-building techniques or even trying to drink loads of milk back at the start of the term to catch up with Kageyama in height. His body really was like some fairytale elf body that never grew, never aged and never changed shape in any way. He decided with un-Hinata-like gloom that he was probably going to be a short-stack until he was old and just remain baby-faced and immature right up until his hair went grey. No adulthood for Hinata Shouyou. He'd flip straight from eternal childhood to old age. Some people would have been jealous of that ability not to age and wrinkle, and that was fine if you were a woman, but Hinata wanted to be a man. A manly man. And he was the eldest of the 1st years, this summer he'd be turning 18 and he hadn't even grown any facial hair yet, he didn't even have a whole lot of fluff down there either. It was like all the hair that should have been growing masculinely on his body had been absorbed by the spiky orange afro-wig on top of his head. 

And it was worse because Kageyama certainly didn't have these problems. He didn't get much facial hair either granted, but he had already been head and shoulders taller than Hinata when they'd met back in middle school in that Kitagawa match, and he'd just steadily grown like a fricken tree since then. He was probably now almost half a foot taller than Hinata thanks to his latest growth spurt that had taken him from 5ft 9 all the way to 5ft 11, just barely missing the 6ft mark, and he was only just starting his 2nd year at school. By the time he was a 3rd year he was probably going to be one of those fricken titans from that anime. He'd also managed to turn all his Christmas pudge (which Hinata had somewhat sadistically enjoyed seeing because it was something else that made Kageyama less desirable to women and thus more HIS) into toned sturdy muscles that made him even more ridiculously handsome, even with his scars marring half of his face, Hinata still thought that Kageyama was absurdly beautiful, his one good eye seemed even sharper and bluer by contrast to the damaged one now, and now that he seemed to be genuinely smiling more, he was quite dazzling, it was just a pity it had taken such tragedy to make him that way. It was because he was so in love with Kageyama that he couldn't be mad at him for having more natural benefits than him. The boy had been through so much and he was turning into a man now, a good faithful loyal man that was worth a million flawless pretty-boys. If all the handsomest setters in all the teams had asked him out he would have turned them all down for Kageyama. His membership to the 'Beautiful Setters Club' may have been officially revoked but he was still the only man for Hinata.

As New Year approached Hinata decided it would be fun to attend one of the temple festivals held at this time of year and invited Kageyama. Mama Hinata got his old trusty yukata out of the attic. These days it wasn't common for men to wear these things, as more modern fashion dictated that the men wore masculine style clothes, so Hinata always protested about being forced into what was essentially a dress. But there was no reasoning with Mama Hinata on this matter. She was adamant that her baby boy was going to look cute alongside his little sister. But when he'd tried it on, it ended up being surprisingly short on him. Which gave Hinata a total shock. An outfit that had fit him without fail every year, was too small for him. Too small. Too small. That meant he was bigger. He was... he was.... TALLER! Springing away from his mother clad in only his boxer shorts he grabbed his crutch and hobbled rapidly almost tripping over his own feet to find the old height chart that his dad had drawn on one of the walls of the living room and pulling away the plant his mother had tried to hide it with, he measured himself and stared at the result in silence for the longest of times. He had grown only an inch but.... an inch had taken him from a dismal 5ft 4 to a slightly more average 5ft 5 and it demonstrated that growth was not totally impossible for him. He was so happy he tried to do a little victory dance on the spot and fell over and bruised his nose, but he was too happy to care. 

He hurried to find Kageyama bursting into his room without knocking still only wearing his underwear and yelled "I GREW TALLER!" which made Kageyama who had been sitting going over books for the upcoming new term and drinking a carton of milk, spit-take and almost choke at the outburst and Hinata's under-dressed form parading in front of him. He coughed gracelessly for a while then blushing at the sight of his lover sighed "Put some clothes on before you bust in here yelling at me. Damn now I have milk all over my books" , "Screw all that. I grew taller!" Hinata marched across to Kageyama (aided by his crutch of course) and grabbed the other boy by his cheeks staring him right in the eye, close enough as though he was going to kiss him "Let it be known in the history books that this day Hinata Shouyou became a man and grew beyond the confines of his child-like state!" , "You look the same to me" , "Blasphemous disbeliever! I have grown from 5ft 4 to 5ft 5! I shall demonstrate upon the chart of height!" , "A single inch? You bust in here like the world is ending for a single inch?" , "Hush Heathen and follow me!" Hinata may have been enjoying this a bit too much, he grabbed Kageyama's wrist and towed the bigger boy out to the chart standing again against it so his lover could see the source of his pride. Kageyama sighed "Your hair makes up the majority of that height you know Shouyou, and you haven't cut it for a while. Are you sure it's not just that your hair got longer?". Hinata gave him a stern look "I understand your disbelief Heathen, I myself had to check to thoroughly grasp the glorious truth, but you will see that even if I push my hair flat like so, I am definitely taller!" , "You're standing on tiptoe..." , "MY YUKATA DIDN'T FIT ME!" Hinata burst out eventually, too frustrated with Kageyama's arguments and logical reasoning to continue his play-acting of benign but powerful deity to simple mortal heathen. Kageyama seemed to realise the trembling of his lover's lip and that upset look in his eye meant he'd taken it too far. Hinata always had been paranoid about his height. His face melted into a softer expression and he embraced the smaller boy "I see. Congratulations then" Hinata blushed at that hug and softness from Kageyama though he didn't know why because they'd been dating for months and had had sex even and done way riskier things. It always seemed that when Kageyama did something that was out of his usual character for Hinata's own sake, it made him feel much more in love with the other boy than all the sensual sexual acts in the world. That connection of pure love and trust was what counted in their relationship.

Of course in celebration of Hinata's growth spurt and because Kageyama definitely needed some too, the rest of the afternoon was dedicated to shopping for clothes which Mama Hinata enjoyed almost as much as the boys, though she got a little tearful nonetheless and kept sighing to herself "My boys are growing up! Soon they'll be men!" and she embraced Natsu instead half squeezing the life out of the poor girl and making her promise she would remain little and cute. Natsu sighed and patted her mother's back knowing she would not stay small either, but for a while yet, whilst she was still so young her mother could comfort herself with playing dress-up with her daughter. Natsu would be in her final year of elementary school this term, and next term when Hinata became a 3rd year she'd be starting middle school, so she wasn't likely to grow or mature much until Hinata was well into his college years. Hinata wasn't allowed off the hook for his growth spurt though, his mother had insisted on visiting a traditional yukata and kimono shop, eyeing up both boys with a tiger-like ferocity whilst they nervously tried to back out of the store's entrance. After having them both measured it was discovered that the inch of height wasn't all Hinata had developed. His legs were becoming more muscular too as a result of the effort it now took to walk on them building his thigh and calf muscles in the way that playing volleyball and jumping around so much had always contributed to previously. Once a good few yukata and other garments had been purchased, the boys were allowed to shop in less embarrassing places whilst Mama Hinata and Natsu went off to do girly shopping together.

On the day of the celebration however unfortunately poor Natsu had come down with a cold. Being as the little girl was now his adoptive sister Kageyama was obviously worried and almost decided to stay home with her, but the small girl coughing had reprimanded him for the thought saying she had plenty of care from their Mama and that her brother needed his care and attention more right now and she was counting on him for that. Sighing he reluctantly agreed to go, petting her soft orange hair and telling her to make sure she rested and got better and he would bring back lots of things for her. Then the pair headed out feeling awkward in the traditional yukata they were wearing. It was common for girls to wear this sort of get-up but not for boys and it was like Mama Hinata had asked them to just go out in public wearing a pair of ballerina tutus. But well she was Kageyama's Mama too now and if she was made happy by seeing him wear this embarrassing thing, then he would wear it with pride just for her. Besides he was already gay and secure enough in his masculinity these days that he didn't feel too concerned about what others thought of him, they would likely be too distracted by his face to notice what he was wearing. Even so he opted to wear his old scarf, partly for the weather and partly because he felt a little naked when he went out with all his scars exposed. 

Mama Hinata had chosen their garments well. His was a deep ink blue with greyish clouds printed on it, a deep royal blue obi belt at his waist which matched the same hue on his scarf. Hinata's seemed like he was wearing fireworks themselves, the bold pattern in a multitude of rainbow hues that looked amazing on his petite form, and brought a strong flush to the cheeks of the ex-setter. Unable to keep a smile from his lips, Kageyama leaned to kiss the forehead of his boyfriend murmuring in his ear "You look incredible", to which Hinata blushed just as red and replied "So do you, I guess maybe this sort of thing isn't SO bad once in a while". They strolled through the shrine grounds, watching people mingling together happily, making awed sounds at the fireworks displays and enjoying the celebration "Are you going to wish for something this year Tobio?", Hinata asked him, nodding his head in the direction of the large temple bell. Kageyama shrugged "Maybe... I don't know. I already have the best gift the gods could give me right here next to me, in a very fetching yukata" he grinned leaning to give the smaller boy another smooch. Hinata blushed more and lightly swatted him "Flirt... don't think you can worm inside my heart that easily with your sweet words" but it was very obvious he was happy as Kageyama was, and feeling thankful too for the man beside him "In that case I'll go pray for us both, can you go and get a cup of Amazake for us?" he slid off the wall and tugged at Kageyama's sleeve "Ah? Okay... but I'm not responsible if you get drunk again. You are too much of a lightweight Shouyou..." Kageyama rolled his eyes, ambling to his feet "You gonna be okay getting to the bell by yourself? There's a big crowd..." he eyed the boy's crutch worriedly. Hinata waved off his concerns "I'll be fine it's only a short distance and I'll be careful not to bump into anyone". Sighing again Kageyama reluctantly departed leaving Hinata to go and pray at the bell.

When it got to his turn he carefully leant his crutch against the pillar of the shrine standing nearest to the bell and balancing his weight, pulled the bell cord with all his strength from the hips, his wish in mind, bowing his head and murmuring a prayer under his breath "Gods protect Tobio from any further harm, let him live his life in peace and if you can see it in your hearts to let us stay together from now on, that's all I'll ever wish for in the world" he spoke from the heart, looking up as more fireworks started to go off. He reached for his crutch and hobbled down the steps to find his lover and enjoy some warm sweet drinks. Finding the other boy by the lake watching the lights and fireworks reflect on the surface of the water in a shimmer of colours and shapes, he settled beside him "All done". Kageyama tilted his head curiously "What did you wish for?" , "Secret. Can't tell you or it won't come true" , "Aww!" , "Heh, don't worry, it was something good" , "Okay I trust you" Kageyama settled back, feeling content, reaching in the dark to find Hinata's hand and lace their fingers together "Happy New Year Shouyou" , "Happy New Year Tobio".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small note to let you guys know I am still working on this fic but I'm really struggling to write the final chapter because it requires me to tie off all the loose ends and summarise it and that's something I really suck at. So it will be up eventually don't worry. Just bear with me during the delay and thanks for your patience!


	24. Epilogue - Corn corn and more corn.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! :P The volleyball dorks begin their 2nd year of school and adjust to their future together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY FUDGIN' VOLLEYBALL JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER! 
> 
> This chapter took me WAY too long to write. Because it was the last chapter and I had to summarise everything I was totally floundering on how I wanted to write it. And because of that I just kept procrastinating more and more on writing it. 
> 
> I'm super sorry it took so long but now hopefully this will at least give people some closure to the story!
> 
> I may eventually write a sequel to this story, but if not I definitely plan to write more Haikyuu and KageHina fics. I have some ideas already for the next story I'm toying with, so stay tuned to see what follows this one :)
> 
> Thanks everyone for all the views, kudos, comments, bookmarks and support whilst I was writing this! I was surprised it got to be as popular as it did! Hope everyone really enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it :D God bless the royal couple KageHina! Huzzah!

On the first day of the 2nd year back at Karasuno High, things were a furore of excitement and new changes. The school was a sea of nervous first years milling about trying to decide what clubs they would attend. Hinata and Kageyama slipped amongst the crowds almost unseen and people didn't even notice that the two boys that only a year ago had constantly fought, now held hands and smiled sweetly at each other. They didn't hear the way the grumpy tall former 'King of the Court' spoke with a gentler and happier tone to the small orange haired boy at his side. They didn't see the way their eyes drank each other in, or constantly sought each other out if one was even a little way away from the other. 

Their third year senpais had all graduated (albeit promising to come back whenever they could to watch games and hang out with their old team), leaving behind Noya, Tanaka, Ennoshita, Kinnoshita and Narita as the new flock of 3rd years to oversee their kouhais. Ennoshita had taken Daichi's place as the captain with Kinnoshita taking the role of Vice Captain because he had the calm level-headed focus to keep the myriad of temperaments of 2nd years and any potential new 1st years in order. Yachi had progressed from the trembling terrified 1st year she'd been last term into a caring and trustworthy manager for the team that would make Kiyoko proud. Kageyama had undergone special training at the start of the year to try and work around his visual disabilities so that he could still set for the team. It required a lot of honing his other senses so that even if he couldn't strictly see a player or the ball he could sense where it was. Being as he'd always been something of a genius setter he'd grasped it with amazing speed and been happily welcomed back to the team as their resident setter, especially in unstable times when Suga's motherly presence was missed.

Hinata alas still couldn't return to his glory days of running and leaping around the court as part of the quick duo, but he'd promised that he would cheer the loudest and the hardest for his team until the day he could work out some way around his current issues to return to play with them. He was currently practising with a local team with physical disabilities and handicaps which meant their play style was done differently and many players were in wheelchairs and played paralympic style sitting to play with each other. Hinata was good at that method, but as he was the only one with mobility issues on Karasuno it was hard to work out how to mesh that play style with the method of the more mobile players. Something would be worked out eventually though and he was glad he was still getting to play the sport he loved most. Especially since Kageyama would come watch him play with the other team and cheer him on enthusiastically in a way he never thought the old sullen grouchy King would ever do. He really had changed in heart this boy of his and every time he looked on that face he was filled with joy and pride and love for the boy who had become an unequivocal part of his life.

Outside of training with volleyball they spent a lot of time on their studies, even Hinata's grades were starting to finally pick up now and Kageyama had progressed so much from the old somewhat thick-headed jock who only cared about volleyball, to a student who'd even managed to get A's in some of his grades, and totally aced more than a few math tests with only minimal assistance from the surly Tsukishima or sweet-natured Yachi. Some of the teachers were astounded. True to his promises Takeda-sensei had ensured all his previous unmarked school work had been properly graded and his GPA had resulted in rising to near the top. It felt good to be something other than 'Bakageyama' the bad-tempered grumpy king who only cared about Volleyball. He still loved Volleyball, but now it shared his heart with Hinata and with the dreams he was building for their future together. They were too young to make any definite announcements of relationship status but concealed inside their jerseys on a pendant chain each boy now wore a promise ring with the other's name engraved. A promise that one day, somehow, no matter how hard they had to fight for that privilege, they would be together, and they would stay together until the day they died, hopefully of old age after a long and wonderful life together.

They were that lovey-dovey around each other that Tsukishima took to making fake barfing sounds in their vicinity and pretending to put his finger down his throat muttering tsunderely that they needed to keep their gross PDAs to the bedroom and not plague the whole school with it. Of course Kageyama knew he was just jealous because although he had an easy rapport with Yamaguchi neither of them had really taken the plunge yet or had a great event in their life draw them together the way that he and Hinata had. With that in mind he didn't let the taunting rile him up and only lightly responded with mock aggression in return telling Tsukishima to shut it and stop whining like a child. He couldn't be too cross with the megane bastard after all, when he'd been lost and floundering thinking Hinata would never wake up from his coma, the stingy middle-blocker had come surprisingly to his aid which showed that even he could be a good person if it was really demanded of him!

At the end of a hectic first day back the two newly 2nd years now 'senpais' to a bunch of nervous first years headed down the hill from the school stopping at Sakanoshita for meat buns as they strolled side by side. Since Hinata had gotten injured he couldn't ride his bike anymore so Kageyama to make things more comfortable for them both had ditched his too opting just to walk with the less mobile boy at the pace the redhead set, regardless of how slow it might be. The old Kageyama would have gotten impatient and nagged him to walk faster, but he was maturing a lot these days and learning that just because you could do something quickly didn't necessarily mean that was the best way to do it, and sometimes taking the time to do things more slowly meant you could be more thorough and enjoy life a little. Both of them had come close to death and now they were cherishing the miracle of life a lot more. In another year Natsu would be starting middle school and Hinata was chatting animatedly about how he was going to be the best big brother ever and chase any bullies that harassed her. Kageyama might ordinarily have teased him about making impractical promises, since he was still in a condition that in a fight he'd have to look out for his own well-being beyond anyone else's. But this time he just nodded solemnly at the words "You and me both. She's my sister too now. If those jerks lay a hand on her, I'll rip em to pieces" he grinned with a parody of his old scary smile and Hinata pretended to be scared to bolster his boyfriend's confidence "Uwaa! Tobio you're perfect at intimidating bullies. You'll have to teach me to be scary like you, okay?" he tried to mimic the taller setters grimace and the result was so funny that Kageyama burst into laughter, the genuine happy sound startling the shorter boy into silence as he watched the beautiful being that he was in love with laughing and being so alive, so different to the sad forgotten lost soul he'd been so recently from neglect and worse. 

"T-Tobio... you're so beautiful" Hinata breathed and the setter stopped laughing and looked at him with a flush on his cheeks "I feel the same about you Shouyou... it doesn't matter how many times you get broken, you still end up more beautiful in spite of it. Like sunlight reflecting from the cracks in a broken mirror... you dazzle me" he was awkward uttering such cheesy lines, not accustomed yet to trying to be romantic, just expressing earnestly what he felt in his heart. The small orange-haired boy stood on his tiptoes and kissed the scarred lips of the taller boy "Thank you Tobio... for coming into my life and helping me to get through these dark times... I couldn't have done it without you" , "Mm the feelings mutual... I thought isolating myself and putting up a scary front would protect me, but ultimately it took the opposite of opening my heart and letting your warmth in to truly make me strong enough to overcome those nightmares and terrors in my life" , "Any time Tobio, your life and your happiness is as precious to me as my own. I want you to be happy" Hinata's small hand reached to touch the boy's cheek again tracing the jagged lines of his scars but with tenderness and not revulsion or pity. Kageyama's head lowered and they stood on the empty street in the light of the setting sun kissing, the fiery hues of the sunset mingling with Hinata's orange hair and making it like a fire that warmed the setter's soul 

"As long as you're in my life Shouyou... I honestly couldn't be happier" Kageyama responded softly, between insistent kisses, he was really going to have to take this wretchedly beautiful brat to bed as soon as they got in. Homework be damned. He'd be doing the small redhead before he did ANY math problems! Hinata blushed and for the sake of not being caught out in their PDA he gave the setter one more sweet kiss before taking his hand interlinking their fingers and continuing the walk home, flushed and happy uttering only the words "The same is true for me Tobio... I don't need anything else but you..."

 

THE END


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